Zorn: Does Donald Trump have three virtues?

Frankly, I can't think of even one

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Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise.

Tuesdays at 11:30 a.m. I talk with WGN-AM 720 host John Williams about what’s making news and likely to be grist for the PS mill. The WGN listen-live link is here.

Harris cannot answer this question! Can you?

Vice President Kamala Harris was asked to name three virtues that her opponent in next month’s election, Donald Trump, possesses — but was unable to come up with even one. — Associated Press

Harris got this question from an audience member at her town hall for Spanish-language network Univision last week and after some hemming and hawing finally came up with, “I think Donald Trump loves his family and I think that’s very important.”

Nice try. I don’t think Trump loves anyone but Trump. But, you know, at least she made the effort.

The question reminded me of the Chris Kennedy crackup during a March, 2019 Democratic gubernatorial debate pitting him against JB Pritzker and Daniel Biss:

“Can each of you name a positive thing your opponent has brought to this race?” moderator Carol Marin asked.

Kennedy looked down at his lectern for five excruciating seconds when it was his turn. “I mean,” he stammered at last, “I’m challenged in this election, because I think that as Democrats, we believe government can be our ally. And when JB emerges as the poster child of all that’s wrong with the corrupt system in our state, it’s difficult for me to heap praise on him. And that’s where I unfortunately need to end it.”

It’s a slow-pitch question that candidates ought to be ready for. Yet a little more than two months later, after Pritzker had won the primary, a reporter asked then-Republican Gov. Bruce Rauner a similar question: “Is there anything that you admire about Mr. Pritzker? An action or achievement? Is there anything you think he’s done that you think is worthy of praise?”

Rauner whiffed.

“I’ve been very clear that I believe (Pritzker) is lacking in integrity, in ethics and in character,” he said, launching into a 90-second, entirely negative talking-points tirade accusing Pritzker of being an unpatriotic tax cheat and self-dealer. “It’s appalling.”

But, speaking of appalling, what are Trump’s virtues?

Philosophers have puzzled over the concept of virtue for centuries. And not to put too superficial a gloss on their work I’ll note that the Big List of Common Virtues generally includes, in no particular order, generosity, prudence, courage, patience, honesty, humility, temperance, fidelity to justice, self-control and kindness.

Add to that list all you want, and I don’t see Trump exhibiting any virtues whatsoever. His blustery arrogance masquerades as courage, but he’s a coward — afraid to release his medical records, his tax returns or his college transcripts; afraid to sit for a “60 Minutes” interview; afraid to get his ass kicked again in a second debate with Harris.

He poses as strong, but he’s weak in the face of tyrants. Indeed it will be our nation’s last, best and only hope if he’s elected next month that he’s basically ignorant and feckless.

Am I wrong? If so, please let me know how you’d answer the question Harris couldn’t.

Chicagoans, your quaint notions about local democracy and an elected school board are, predictably, being exposed as a naïve dream

From the Tribune article posted Friday headlined, “School board campaign donations top $2.3 million a month before election, as money pours in from teachers union and charter groups.”

Super PACs affiliated with school choice groups — the Illinois Network of Charter Schools and the Urban Center — are … spending big, logging $274,000 in spending in support of candidates in the past week, according to state records. …

The Chicago Teachers Union is by far the biggest contributor in this recent influx of donations, giving $372,000 in the past week alone to its slate of endorsed candidates, mostly through in-kind donations. Chicago Working Families, a group whose biggest donor is the union, contributed an additional $43,000 to school board candidates. The People’s 32nd PAC, whose funds are also primarily from CTU, has given $97,000 this past week. …Now, with the election just weeks away, contribution caps are off in all districts except 4 and 5… This means even more money is likely to come pouring in at the tail end of the race.

From the Oct. 3 Sun-Times story “Emboldened by CPS strife, CTU critics pour more cash into school board elections”

The CTU’s two PACs and a few others led by related community groups have spent more than $253,000 in support of their candidates since June through in-kind contributions, such as mailers, field canvassing and consulting, state campaign records show.

Two super PACS opposing the union had around $3.6 million to spend at the start of September and are now making their move.

The Sun-Times’ finance tracker is likely to show a jump Tuesday when new numbers will come in, and we’ll also be keeping an eye on all the outside PAC money in this proxy battle. I don’t know what proponents of an elected school board in Chicago envisioned — selfless citizen volunteers running on the strength of their ideas for education? — but what they’re getting is bare-knuckle politics.

The Tribune reported Sunday that nearly one-third of school board hopefuls were knocked off the ballot by challenges from “high-profile political operatives and lobbyists.” And the attack mailers that have been showing up are nothing short of infamous, one, for instance, accusing candidates not on board with the union agenda of being puppets for Donald Trump and backers of Project 2025.

The Nobel-ish prize

Congratulations to James A. Robinson, an economist and political scientist at the University of Chicago, for being one of three men to win the Nobel Memorial Prize in economics Monday. But if I may once again be That Guy, when Alfred Nobel died in 1896 he stipulated that the now world famous awards he endowed for work that brings ”the greatest benefit on mankind” be given in the areas of physics, chemistry, medicine, peace and literature.

But in 1968, Sweden’s central bank pulled off a neat trick: It established and began funding its own Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences, announced every October around the same time as all the other, ”real” Nobel Prizes.

The distinction between the original Nobels and the Alfred-come-lately memorial prize in economics has, by now, faded in most minds, as reflected in these and many other headlines

Chicago Tribune / Chicago Sun-Times

When I reported on this at the Tribune, the information officer for the Nobel Foundation in Stockholm told me the foundation receives several requests every week from those eager to get on the bandwagon and fund new Nobel prizes in such areas as engineering, music, ballet, environmental science, mathematics and even journalism.

In fairness, all of those areas may well be more beneficial to mankind than the study of economic theory. Economics is one of the few academic pursuits so inexact that it inspires a full line of jokes about it. For example:

• Economists have predicted nine out of the last five recessions.

• An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

• How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? Seven, plus or minus ten.

Though the foundation has a copyright on the term “Nobel Prize,” nothing stands in the way of a rich person endowing another memorial prize in Alfred’s honor; a Faux-bel if you will.

Notes and comments from readers — lightly edited — along with my responses

The mayor and the schools

 Bob E — Chicago Public Schools are not working for a huge majority of students, the vast percentage of whom are minority children from low income families. Student population has fallen by almost 25% over the past 20 years. CPS' operating budget has more than doubled in that time, while inflation has increased only 54%. The cost per pupil has almost tripled. There are about 14,000 children on charter school waiting lists. To promote and follow a path of doing more of the same, and paying more for it, doesn't make sense. And why is it OK, even good for those with income and/or assets to send kids to schools of their choice, when the low-income parents of minority students have only very limited school choice?

Zorn — I’ve never been persuaded by the cry that Chicago’s public schools are “failing,” as that assumes that they are not meeting benchmarks that a better run school system would meet. CPS faces enormous challenges educating children from disadvantaged backgrounds who bring special challenges to the classroom. The animating idea seems to be that the teachers and administrators are lazy and indifferent and they would surely get off their asses if they had to compete with private schools funded with public dollars or charter schools.

Teacher motivation is evidently the secret sauce in the minds of those who whine about pedagogical failure as they promote strategies that undermine neighborhood public schools. What else could it be? I’m always willing to listen.

Further, it often strikes me that those who seem most animated by the idea that children from low-income families deserve the same choice in education that children from higher-income families have seem blithely unconcerned that low-income children and families have almost no choice at all when it comes to health care. Conservatives, in particular, don’t seem to give a rip that “low-income parents of minority students have only very limited” choices in hospitals and doctors.

The race card

Melinda A K -- Regarding “You are embarrassing us and yourself, Mr. Mayor” and the extensive excerpts from last week’s news conference, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson's continual interjection of race into questions of school policy is disheartening. CPS serves all kids, not just Black children. Criticisms of his actions and policies have nothing to do with his race but with his actions and the policies. Anyone who seemed to ask about fiscal responsibility at CPS received an answer that boiled down to "why do you hate Black children?" Never mind that, according to ChalkBeat Chicago, the student body makeup of CPS has 47% identifying as Hispanic, 35% as Black, 11% as white, and 4.5% as Asian American.

Ellen Szalinski — Who is giving this guy the impression that combativeness works? And the gaslighting and hostility to the press! And the race card BS. Yikes.

Shelley Riskin — Johnson has cried racism numerous times against the press and anyone who questions him, and he's constantly referring to his own kids attending a Black neighborhood school, while schools CEO Pedro Martinez also has kids in CPS, but rarely mentions it. In the beginning I felt that Johnson should be given the benefit of the doubt, even though CTU elected him and he barely eked out a win. But his terrible decisions — let's not forget the firing of the wonderful health commissioner Dr. Allison Arwady without even the grace to tell her in person — have culminated this past week in his autocratic, dismissive word salads and once again crying racism. It has all just disgusted me.

Joanie Wimmer — After reading all of the white self-righteous condemnation of Mayor Johnson here for “playing the race card” and being a tool of the Chicago Teachers Union, I enjoyed listening to this podcast by Ben Joravsky. A differing and refreshing perspective.

Zorn — Joravsky’s podcast is most refreshing when he has guests who push back a bit on his far left politics. This recent show with Peter Cunningham, for example. I don’t discount the lingering effects of racism in our society, but I don’t think it’s helping Johnson politically to continue to invoke race.

Don Nemerov —  I am waiting for you to say that if Mayor Johnson runs again again, you will vote for the other candidate. Let’s see: canceled Shot Spotter, blew up the CPS Board and the CPS CEO in the middle of labor negotiations with the CTU (whose demands are outrageous and unaffordable), is quietly and gradually defunding the CPD and calls anyone who disagrees with him a racist. He is completely unfit for office.

Zorn — I would never make such a statement at this point! Yes, he’s a real disappointment so far, but he’s just a bit more than one third through his first term and could still turn things around. Even if he doesn’t, I would vote for him over, say, Fraternal Order of Police MAGA goon John Catanzara or entitled conservative millionaire Willie Wilson, both of whom I can see running in 2027.

Death does not liberate Pete Rose from banishment

Stephen Brenner — Pete Rose signed an agreement that contained a permanent ban from baseball, not, as reader Michael Johnson contended last week, a lifetime ban. So his death does not lift the bar to him being enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. Reader Steve T. was correct to note that a manager betting on his own team to win can still be harmful. An example would be leaving an effective pitcher in the game for too many innings in an attempt to win the game or cover the spread but at the same time physically harming that pitcher and possibly shortening or even ending his career. Or ordering a player to steal a base in order to try to cover the spread where the baserunner suffers an injury on the slide.

Zorn — Several readers corrected the misapprehension — which I shared in large part because, as Google reveals, that has long been the colloquial way to refer to Rose’s punishment for gambling — that Rose was given a “lifetime ban” rather than a permanent ban. I’m surprised to learn that there is a “spread” in baseball betting. There is a lot I don’t know about sports betting.

Censorship and vanity license plates

Tom Owens —Regarding your item, “Yes, a 10/7 license plate is offensive. No, Illinois should not ban it,” if someone wants to have a poster or bumper sticker celebrating the murder and rape of civilian Jews that’s free speech, but the state doesn’t necessarily need to sanction it.

Jake H. — The purpose of trying to slip a risque or offensive message onto a license plate is cheeky -- to enlist the state in participating in conveying the message. The point is the ventriloquism, to get the celebrity to utter the words — an inside joke maybe, something embarrassing maybe. The ventriloquism is why anyone pays more than a few bucks for it.

White supremacists love their little in-jokes and secret messages. Imagine their glee — the glee you can't get from a mere bumper sticker — when they get the state to put, say, a 1488 on a plate, right above "Land of Lincoln." 1488 is one of those secret messages: 8 8 for the eighth letter of the alphabet, H H — this stands for "Heil Hitler." And 14 for the number of words in a white supremacist slogan.

What's more, what do you do when the ill-defined "offensiveness" is really supplied, as in the case at issue in the story you commented on, by the license plate frame? "Oct. 7" is not inherently offensive, even if it's referring to the Hamas attack, which it may well not be on its own. Imagine a frame around the same plate that said "Always remember" accompanied by an Israeli flag, rather than a frame that said "Free Palestine" accompanied by a Palestinian one. It would then carry the opposite meaning.

The solution to this and all related headaches is straightforward. States should simply decline to act as ventriloquists' dummies. That goes for the registration number as well as programs that allow you to choose among plate designs that convey various messages. The Supreme Court held that a state could nix a Confederate-themed plate design, but it was a close decision, 5-4, and you can see the opposing arguments. That goes for programs where citizens can choose a flag to fly outside of City Hall.

All such programs are silly anyway. They lack the neutral dignity that ought to characterize officialdom in all its expressions, and they invite abuse because, as revealed in our age of democratized communication, people are frequently immature trolls.

The sole argument for keeping vanity plates is the revenue. I can't really argue with that because I would need to know the number, which is not readily available. I found an undated Tribune article that put the number at about $5 million, chickenfeed, but that may be many years ago. I can't imagine it's really a lot of money. I'd sooner see state speed and surveillance cameras on the highways, which I bet would make a lot more money over time and make the highways safer besides.

John McClelland — As both a former military traffic safety instruction supervisor and a long-time advocate of free expression, I doubt the claim of a First Amendment right to display fighting words on plates — or anything but the clear, necessary, digits. Wanna support, entertain, or insult others? Buy a bumper sticker!

Zorn — The idea of a license plate as a bumper sticker equivalent that bears the imprimatur of the state is a weird one, and, yes, I think the state puts itself into a First Amendment trick bag when it says “here is a forum for speech … oh, not that speech.” Sure, the First Amendment has limits, but if those limits don’t apply to bumper stickers then why should they apply to license plates that are meant to be messages affixed to cars.

On the Bright One beat

I wrote two things about the Sun-Times last week — one asking if the paper was on solid financial footing since lifting its paywall, the other applauding the paper for cutting its weather coverage in half. After publication I got a response to my queries  from Victor Lim, spokesman for the paper:

Victor Lim, Chicago Sun-Times — Regarding your questions about revenue and removing the paywall, Chicago Sun-Times will always have a diverse revenue portfolio; we don't expect membership to make up all of our revenue. As of today, our mix of funding includes philanthropic giving, major gifts, membership, print subscriptions and advertising. 

As for the weather page, we’re always listening to feedback and always adjusting and exploring potential ways to provide the features that readers say are most important to them. But we want our focus to be on journalism and services you can't get anywhere else.  

Readers also weighed in: 

John Houck — You noted that nearly everyone has all the weather information they could possibly want as close as their phones, But that could be said about any of the content in the newspaper. Of course if newspapers themselves disappear, a lot of that content would become harder to find.

Zorn — Certainly some of the content is unnecessary. I'd argue that baseball box scores, for instance, take up a lot of space that could go to actual sports news — high school sports, etc. But you do put your finger on a real problem for newspapers, which is now they maintain relevance in this era.

Garry Spelled Correctly — Newspapers still have astrology columns based on the ancient, fraudulent idea that the position of the stars and planets can have an effect on our lives. I know that the fools who actually believe in that crap scream mightily when it's canceled, but get some guts and dump that idiocy.

Zorn — Astrologers, who would fight you mightily on your overall assessment of their ancient fraud, agree strongly that newspaper horoscope columns are utter bunk, no more accurate or particularly helpful than random fortune cookies. But readers evidently like them, so my guess is they’re here to stay. Your view?

Bully for Schmich

Marc Martinez — Regarding the column that touched on her very first record, “Good Vibrations” by The Beach Boys, I love Mary Schmich. My first 45 was "Wooly Bully' by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. I got a reprimand because a neighbor called my mom to complain that I played it too loud. Since I only had a little portable turntable with built-in speakers, I assume it was because my window was across from hers, and there was a bit of repetition.

Zorn — I can imagine! I literally wore out some 45s, I played them so many times. I stopped playing songs over and over and over as I got older, and I’m not sure why. Do young brains favor repetition more than older brains? I’m open to theories.

The week’s best visual jokes

Here are some amusing visual images I've come across recently on social media. Enjoy, then evaluate:

There’s still time to vote in the conventional Quip of the Week poll!

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