Zorn: Election Day Picayune Plus

What to expect when you're expecting returns

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Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. Typically, only paid subscribers receive Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, but today I’m sending this out to all subscribers.

‘Nauseously optimistic’

I’ve been borrowing the expression “nauseously optimistic” from anti-Trump conservative pundit Charlie Sykes when people have asked me how I’m feeling about the election that (theoretically, hopefully) concludes today. Enthusiasm for Harris among Democrats is at Obamaesque levels and there is certainly significant disenchantment among conventional Republicans with Donald Trump. I will not predict the outcome, only hazard a guess that Harris will win the Electoral College in as resounding a fashion as Joe Biden did in 2020 (306-232).

The only predictions I will make is that if Trump loses, he will never, ever concede no matter how resounding his defeat. And if Trump wins, the prissy protest voters who didn’t vote or voted for a third party candidate because Harris wasn’t good enough for them on one particular issue or another will come to regret it good and hard. Either way, I will never forgive or excuse history’s fools who used the term “Trump Derangement Syndrome” to suggest it’s irrational catastrophizing to point out the threat his wicked, sadistic, rash narcissist poses/posed to our democracy.

I’ll be watching the local school board elections closely.

These small elections will be the first real ballot-box test of how the Chicago Teachers Union and Mayor Brandon Johnson are faring with voters against their detractors.

Chicago Teachers Union-endorsed candidates:

 District 1: Jennifer Custer
District 2: Ebony DeBerry
District 3: Jason Dones
District 4: Karen Zaccor
District 5: Aaron “Jitu” Brown
District 6: (two endorsements) Anusha Thotakura and Brenda Delgado
District 7: Yesenia Lopez
District 8: Felix Ponce
District 9: Lanetta Thomas
District 10: Robert Jones

Illinois Policy Institute-endorsed candidates

District 1: Michelle Pierre *#
District 2: Bruce Leon #
District 3: Carlos Rivas *#
District 4: Ellen Rosenfeld #
District 5: No endorsement; only one candidate running
District 6: Andre Smith *
District 7: Eva Villalobos *#
District 8: Angel Gutierrez *#
District 9: Miquel Lewis*
District 10: Karin Norington-Reaves *#

*— Also backed by the super PAC of the Illinois Network of Charter Schools.

#— Also backed by the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board.

A frightening reminder of the stakes of the presidential election

Journalist Cate Plys, a member of “The Mincing Rascals” podcast team, has written “Kamala Should go Nuclear,” a look at what it might well mean to put this iteration of Donald Trump in charge of atomic weapons. Neil Steinberg has posted the report at his blog. A letter to the Picayune Sentinel from Plys on a different subject altogether is below.

Bonus food for fodder

Plain spoken Chicago sports pundit Ben Bentley (1920-2001) was wont to refer to provocative thoughts as “food for fodder,” a tautological expression I continue to use in his memory. On Thursdays I’ve been offering “Quotables” in the hopes that some of you will find them useful in shaping your thinking or in motivating you to vote and helping you motivate others to vote in this extremely consequential election. Here is my final quote dump:

(If he wins) we can expect Trump to begin a massive purge of the federal workforce, and begin the process of mass deportations. The reign of Stephen Miller, Elon Musk and RFK, Jr. will begin. Trump will pardon the January 6 rioters, and summarily fire the prosecutors who tried to hold him accountable. Having been immunized by the Supreme Court, he will instruct the DOJ to go after his political opponents. He will abandon Ukraine and begin the process of weakening our alliances. A newly empowered Trump will gut or kill Obamacare outright, while imposing massive new tariffs on the economy. — Charlie Sykes

On almost every issue of domestic policy — from immigration to the environment to gun laws to LGBTQ+ rights — Trump has tacked far to the right of the American mainstream. On a host of other issues, including freedom of the press and the court system, Trump has threatened to break new ground in taking on what he sees as “enemies within.” He represents a real threat to freedom of the press and could weaponize the courts to go after those politicians, and others, who have opposed him. — The Guardian

As president, Donald Trump will harm people I care about. … We’re at a twisted place in American history when voters must consider a presidential candidate we know will hurt others, will tear communities apart, will take the rights of people we love. We know it because he has said so, proudly and loudly. … I choose Harris because Trump and the Republican Party will again try to do away with Obamacare, putting millions at risk of losing health care or going back to a time when preexisting conditions kept them from getting decent insurance. … This election, distilled down, is decency vs. indecency. The choice could not be more clear. — Rex Huppke, USA Today

He has vowed to round up and deport millions of foreign nationals. Because the removals will be slow—permissions have to be negotiated with the receiving governments, transportation booked, people forced aboard—Trump has spoken of building a national network of camps to hold the rounded-up immigrants. Deportation is a power of the presidency: Trump can indeed do all of this if he is determined to. Trump has pledged huge increases in U.S. tariffs, not only on China but on friends and treaty partners, such as Mexico. Congress has historically delegated the president’s broad authority over trade. A restored President Trump will have the power to impose tariffs, and will also have the power to exempt industries and firms that bid for his favor. — David Frum, The Atlantic (gift link)

The simple truth is that there aren't enough legal residents to fill all the jobs in the U.S. Everyone knows this. When Donald Trump thunders about deporting every illegal immigrant in the country, it's just empty talk, red meat for the rubes. In reality, our economy would collapse without immigrants, and no one wants to risk that. So we continue appealing to xenophobia with walls and agents and raids, but it's all theater. — Kevin Drum

Supporting an authoritarian because you like some of their policy ideas is a fallacy because soon your opinion won’t matter anymore. — Garry Kasparov

Some will say now that I am calling America a Christian nation. So I am. And some will say that I am advocating Christian Nationalism. And so I do. — Republican U.S. Sen Josh Hawley of Missouri

In two days, we’re going to to take out the trash in Washington, D.C., and the trash’s name is Kamala Harris. — JD Vance.

I have felt for a long time that not only is Trump going to lose (because, yes, I have a lot of faith in the goodness of my fellow Americans), but Kamala Harris is going to win, and win big. With crowd-size numbers that even Trump will be blown away by, meaning this is the last that we will see him. — Michael Moore, who predicted Trump’s victory in 2016

You know why gas was so cheap? Because there was a global lockdown during COVID and nobody was driving. And (Trump is) talking about it like it was the good old days! … Gas was super cheap because we were stuck inside the house.— Barack Obama

An obese 78 year old adjudicated rapist and convicted felon simulated a sexual act on stage in the course of trying to be President. Zero respect for every one of my colleagues who continues to endorse him. — U.S. Rep. Sean Casten, D-Illinois.

I saw a man in a restaurant today with a hat that said “The Hoe is just as bad as Joe.” Sir, I just want to remind you: Kamala Harris won’t see your sexism. But your two young daughters sitting across from you certainly do. — Skyler Johnson

Riot fencing is being installed in DC ahead of the election. This isn’t normal and the press needs to be clear why. Trump incited a violent insurrection and continues to present an ongoing threat to our democracy. The security measures are entirely due to the danger he presents. — Matt McDermott

The single worst thing about Trump to me will always be how much he's changed people. I've watched friends and relatives become entirely new, worse people in the wake of his political rise. Like it's not merely that he's a terrible guy, it's that he's ruined people. — Velodus

Schrödinger’s Douchebag: (noun) A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he’s kidding or not based on people’s reactions. — Michael Flood

Those who want to ban vaccines should take a trip through an old cemetery and see how many children's graves there are. Children commonly died of things routinely prevented now by the miracle of vaccines. Look up the side effects of Measles. Check out Diptheria, Whooping Cough, Scarlet Fever, Smallpox. Vaccines saved generations around the world. Why would anyone want to go back to risking their child's life and future? — Morgan Fairchild

A preemptive eff you to all the folks in Trump’s orbit who — post election — will divulge just how horrible he has always been. — Rex Chapman

For the first time in U.S. history, the National Guard is on alert during a presidential election bcz one candidate — who is a Hitler-admiring fascist — will claim that a free and fair election was stolen. I cannot wait until this shitstain is tossed into the dustbin of history. — Bill Madden

After everything Trump has done and said, after his clear cognitive decline, after all of his violent rhetoric and weird sexual innuendos, millions of people will still wake up tomorrow and say: "Yes, this man should be the commander in chief and a model for my children." — Tom Nichols

People are like, “Oh, well, we had another hurricane, it must be global warming.” No! It's probably abortion, actually. Just being honest. You can’t do that. You can't kill children on purpose. … You can't participate in human sacrifice without consequences. — Tucker Carlson

 Vote as if your life depends on it. Because if you finally have health insurance, if you believe in clean drinking water, if you or a loved one plan on having a child or want control over your own body, or if you live in an immigrant community, your life does depend on it. — Will Bunch

I keep waiting for someone to tell me, “Yeah, I was a fruit picker until those illegals showed up.” — unknown

I am sorry. If you support the Democratic Party, I will not help you . … I know which of you supports the Democratic Party, and I will not help you survive the end of days. — Lieutenant John Rodgers of the Clark County (Ohio) Sheriff’s Office, who was allowed to remain on duty after posting such threats to Facebook.

Republicans, what you forgot about Faustian bargains with Mephistopheles is that not only does he take your soul, he doesn’t deliver. — Stuart Stevens

If you are OK with women dying after a miscarriage, you are garbage. If you are OK with children going to bed hungry, you are garbage. If you demand everyone else follow what Jesus said but ignore all of it yourself, you are garbage. If you hate people who have darker skin than you, you are garbage. If you deny the Holocaust ever happened, you are garbage. — Betty Bowers

I've spent 9 years being called a DEMONcrat, a communist, a Marxist, a baby killer, etc, and went on about my day. If you can't handle some insults, go find a safe space to go cry in, you little babies. — Shell

I'm not really sure what's more alarming: What John Kelly heard Trump say or the fact that nobody on the right will give a shit what John Kelly heard Trump say. Christian Schneider, National Review Online

In his own words

In many cases, our allies are worse than our so-called enemies. — Donald Trump

(Democrats are) the most corrupt, horrible people. These are horrible people. Oops, we should get along with everybody. They're horrible people. — Donald Trump

(Nancy Peloisi is) a bad, sick woman. She's crazy as a bedbug. She is a crazy-- she's a — she’s a — remember she ripped up the paper behind me? She could've gone to jail for that. You’re not allowed to that. I think Nancy Pelosi is a disgrace. — Donald Trump

I will rescue every town across America that has been invaded and conquered. … They've been conquered, they've been conquered. — Donald Trump

Notes and comments from readers — lightly edited — along with my responses

Decision 2024

Jay G. — Jeff Bezos, Jamie Dimon, Mark Zuckerberg, et. al. are smart enough (or at least they should be) to understand that the reason why the U.S. economy is the world's strongest is because of its political stability, and that by bending the knee to Trump for short-term preservation of their personal wealth they are risking longer-term political instability that will have far larger impact on their fortunes over the long term.

Ted — Regarding cancelling a Washington Post subscription: Your and Mary Schmich's argument not to cancel is well-reasoned. But I am not in a reasoning mood. I'm enraged. My rage left me no choice.

Tom Krish — The Sun-Times doesn't do endorsements, either (legally, because they are a non-profit)

Zorn — Since the Sun-Times isn't constrained by tax laws from running editorials and opinion pieces laying out the stakes in this and other elections, I don't see why this prohibition exists or why it needs to be particularly confining. We had what I consider to be an incredibly stupid rule at the Tribune that columnists were not allowed to endorse or say directly for whom they were voting and why, even though some of us made it totally obvious. I never got a good explanation why, except maybe that it diluted the concept of "endorsement."

Michael Gorman — Trump's policy program: Deport more than 11 million people to destroy many vital industries and damage others. Impose across-the-board tariffs on imported goods to impose massive price increases on almost all consumers and destroy many businesses dependent on imports. Take health care away from millions of Americans; jail journalists and political opponents. Abandon Ukraine. That's it--not a single positive policy.

Rima — Thank you for the extra large, election-related Quotables last Thursday I have passed them on to my friends (some of whom are probably now no longer in that category) to remind them of the horror of a Trump return to the White House.

Zorn — You are most welcome! I’d been phone banking and feeling like I wasn’t getting through to swing state voters, nearly all of whom must be sick to death of all the calls, TV ads and door knockers importuning them. By providing some ammunition for friends to share with friends I thought I might do at least a little good.

Mayor Johnson’s proposal to hike property taxes

Skeptic — Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson likes to talk about having courage to get things done, but all I’d seen him push for were things that his core supporters wanted, which is not courageous at all. Regarding putting more money in schools, on borrowed money means the next mayor would have to do the hard part and come up with money to pay for it, not Johnson. I disagree with Johnson on a number of things, and think his refusal to give straight answers is cowardly, but if he is willing to do the actual courageous part and raise taxes to pay for his programs, then I respect that.

Dan R. — Campaign promises never to raise property taxes are just wrong. Does the price of a gallon of diesel fuel in a fire engine not go up? How about city workers health insurance, parts for truck repairs, concrete for sidewalk restoration? A better pledge is to keep taxes in line with inflation.

Zorn — Mayor Lightfoot instituted just such a program in 2020. tying property tax hikes to inflation, but she and Johnson bailed out on it.

Trump and additional COVID-19 deaths

David O. — Regarding your item promoting Barack Obama’s assertion that the per-capita death rate from COVID-19 in Canada was 60% lower than in the U.S, I find 424,324 deaths under Trump/Pence administration (1,267/million or .1267% of Americans). 795,163 deaths under Biden/Harris administration (.2375%). Now I realize the Biden/Harris administration has been through 3+ years of COVID while Trump had barely a year, but Biden had a vaccine when he took office and there were more deaths in 2021 than in 2020. The CDC has said that the death count in the US has been so high during the Biden/Harris administration because citizens have become more reckless in their behavior towards COVID. You can look at the difference of .1267% (Trump/Pence) and .2375% (Biden/Harris) two ways. It can be a difference of .1108% (Slightly over 1 person per 1,000, my preference.) or as an increase of 87%. (Your preference.)

Zorn — My preference would be to look at deaths per month — 42,400 under Trump/Pence; roughly 10,000 under Biden -- and to recognize that the persistence and strength to any pandemic is related to how well it is or is not nipped in the bud by effective policies at the very outset.

Wendy C. — The pandemic wouldn't have snowballed into a massive death toll if precautions and proper advice had been taken seriously to begin with. Trump deliberately forced the political message to ignore it while ridiculing initial efforts by the CDC and other health organizations to effect the response needed.

Mark K. — In 2018 Trump dismissed the pandemic response team that Obama had put together that would have sounded the alarm and provided much needed early guidance.

Ted B. — After vaccines became available, COVID-19 deaths in Pro-Trump counties have been substantially higher than pro-Biden. If Trump were to lose by a tiny percentage of swing state voters, it would be interesting to see if any of those votes would have made a difference.

Marc Martinez — I do not support Trump, but critics have ignored the excess deaths that resulted from the COVID shutdowns - alcohol, drugs, suicides, car fatalities, etc. These have been estimated from 100,000 to 300,000

Dan. R. — USA ranking on the World Health Organization’s list of countries by obesity rate is #13 (43% adults with BMI over 30). Canada is at #76 with a 27% rate. Obesity was a major driver of COVID-19 deaths.

Steven K. — It is not clear why the media were as aggressive as they were in suppressing the rather important data point about obesity rates and the clear connection between obesity and COVID mortality. I suspect a sensitivity to potential accusations of “fat shaming.” But it’s abundantly clear how its omission has allowed misinformation of the sort that President Obama waded into in that speech to perpetuate.

There is no shortage of awful things to be said about Trump. It is neither necessary, nor helpful, to make stuff up.

Cate Plys — I revile Trump as much as Obama does, but this isn’t working for me! Maybe I’m wrong but I didn’t find anything to persuade me that Barack Obama was right.

I don’t know why Canada had a lower death rate, but it wasn’t because Donald Trump didn’t like masks. A Cochrane review has already shown masks make no real difference at a population level. We can argue about whether masks do make a difference for individuals who can perfectly wear N-95 masks 24/7, but the Cochrane meta-analysis reviews have always been the gold standard for medical questions and the population level difference finding wasn’t seriously disputed as far as I saw.

First, per Time, as you noted, the US had 3023 excess deaths per million during COVID years vs Canada’s 1071. Does that prove that masking and Canadian enforcement of lockdowns etc. worked better in reducing COVID deaths than what happened in countries with laxer masking and lockdowns? Manifestly not. Even Time admits that “Americans are less healthy than Canadians. Lacking a system of universal healthcare and plagued by unusually high levels of class and racial inequality” and that there are 'deep cultural differences' between the two countries.” 

Per the Economist, Canada’s excess deaths per 100k population over 65 is 1,325 versus the United States at 2,814. Excess deaths per 100k adjusted for demography gets 121 dead for Canada, 255 for U.S. But Sweden, which did not lockdown or require masking and didn’t close schools but simply told people over 70 to stay home and be careful, had excess deaths per 100k for those over 65 of just 1,247, and excess deaths per 100k demography adjusted of 120. 

So Sweden’s no lockdown beats Canada’s lockdown on both metrics. Whatever went worse here, it wasn’t masking and lockdowns. 

There was never any evidence that the COVID vaccines stopped transmission between people, so there was never any medical reason for vaccine mandates; and there are no good studies showing masks do work.

The only specific reference I found to something that proves lockdowns suck besides actual real world outcomes from the pandemic is a 2022 Johns Hopkins meta-analysis. that found that COVID “lockdowns have had little to no effect on COVID-19 mortality. More specifically, stringency index studies find that lockdowns in Europe and the United States only reduced COVID-19 by 0.2% on average.” Further, lockdowns “have imposed enormous economic and social costs where they have been adopted. In consequence, lockdown policies are ill-founded and should be rejected as a pandemic policy instrument.” 

So what am I missing? I see Jay Bhattacharya thinks Trump and Biden both screwed up big time on COVID, and don’t even get him started on Fauci. But he’s not accusing any of them of causing hundreds of thousands of deaths.

Should Chicago drop its local speed limits?

Rick Weiland — We need to think in terms of trade-offs. In principle, slowing the speed limit from 30 to 25 makes commutes and other trips 15% slower, assuming of course, that the new limit was obeyed and that traffic signals were adjusted for the new rate of flow. I don't think the cost of 15% slower is trivial.

As a motorist, cyclist, and pedestrian, I am still convinced that catering to cyclists who insist on riding on arterials instead of side streets, and who regularly disregard the traffic laws, is a major part of the problem. I stay on side streets. I (almost) stop at stop signs, and do stop if someone from another direction got there first. I wait for green lights. I hope most of your readers do, too. But a lot of people don't. After all, there is no enforcement.

The fortifications that have been built up on arterials (e.g., Clark Street on the north side) to protect cyclists from their own behavior have messed with auto flow, causing congestion, delays, unhappiness, and probably some amount of road rage. And when I see someone cycling down Sheridan Road, when there is a perfectly satisfactory, stoplight-free bike path 50 yards east in the park, I am grateful that no more of them are hurt, but astonished at their lack of good sense.

Little Bear — I highly recommend the new book “Killed By A Traffic Engineer: Shattering the Delusion that Science Underlies our Transportation System” by civil engineering professor Wes Mardhall. In our country, traffic engineers rely on a set of standards and regulations that were never proven to be safe. For the past 70 years we assumed they were following best practices when in reality they were not. The author is not angry with traffic engineers. He likens them to doctors in the 1700s, working with the best they have. It's not judgmental, just points out the flaws in what we do.

Worst name change in Chicago history?

Garry Spelled Correctly — The Axios Chicago bracket poll to name the worst name change in Chicago history found overwhelming support for the renaming of Sears Tower to Willis Tower. But my nomination wasn’t included: The renaming of Cook County Hospital for former board president John Stroger Jr., whose predecessor Dick Phelan actually did the deal to replace that antiquated building with a modern hospital.

Zorn — For reasons apparently related to cultural sensitivity, the Axios bracket poll stayed away from renamings that involved historical or political figures. Thus the poll didn’t include Cook County Hospital to Stroger Hospital, Waveland Golf Course to Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course, Circle Interchange to the Jane Byrne Interchange, Congress Parkway to Ida B. Wells and the addition of Jean Baptiste Point DuSable’s name to Lake Shore Drive, among others that prompted grousing and side-eye. Because interest in these name changes was so strong, I’ll put these five other options to readers, then pit the winner against Sears/Willis:

Premium issue alert/reminder

Sunday’s home delivery issue of the Tribune came with a “premium issue” on the upcoming college basketball season. Subscribers who haven’t called 312-546-7900 to opt out of paying $9.99 for each such issue — there are up to 14 a year! — will pay that cost in a shortened subscription term.

It’s a well done product and arguably worth it if you’re a big fan of college hoops. But if you’re not, or if you simply object to this sneaky money grab, you need to call that number. Operators will opt you out for only six months at a time. So the Picayune Sentinel will issue periodic reminders. You are most welcome!

Bonus Tune of the Week: Not a prediction but a hope

More on this song here. Hat tip Mark Jacob

The week’s best visual jokes

Here are some funny visual images I've come across recently on social media. Enjoy, then evaluate:

There’s still time to vote in the conventional Quip of the Week poll!

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