Twitter by any other name is still my favorite social media cesspool

Elon Musk can call it what he will, I ain't leaving yet

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Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise.

Source: unknown

X will always be Twitter to me

As many of you read this Tuesday morning I will be playing nine at Waveland, the lakefront Chicago Park District golf course with wonderful views and too many sand traps for my taste (or ability).

Officially, since June 1991 the facility has been the Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course, a name that I, for one, consider an ongoing affront, part of an old sleazy bit of back-scratching I refuse to dignify. Thirty years ago I wrote:

Sydney Marovitz was a commissioner — not even the chairman — on the Chicago Park District Board from 1974 to 1986 during the discredited reign of former Supt. Ed Kelly. He is said to have been a kind, compassionate and thoughtful man, though not one who left much of a mark on the parks.

The last name, however, may ring a bell. Sydney's brother, Abraham Lincoln Marovitz, is a senior federal judge from Chicago who has administered the mayoral oath of office to both Richard M. Daley and his father, Richard J. Daley. Sydney's son, William, was a veteran Democratic state senator from the North Side at the time the new name was approved.

The renaming of Waveland reeked of backroom politics, nods and winks, connections, deals and arrogance born of the disregard for the public will -- hallmarks of the old era.

Golfers were justifiably outraged. The name Waveland went back to the 1930s when the course was built, and it was particularly appropriate for the pastoral and challenging links right where the land meets the waves. Waveland. There are echoes of an amusement park in the name, a place for fun, a place for all people.

William Marovitz left office in 1993. Judge A. L. Marovitz died in 2001. Yet no one in the city or with the parks has yet acted to retract or amend this ridiculously outsized tribute. All I can do is refuse even to think of the course as “Marovitz,” just as I will refuse even to think of Twitter as “X,” the name Elon Musk is this week imposing on the social media platform I consult several times a day and will continue to consult until it explodes in a fireball of incompetence-fueled bankruptcy.

Most name changes I shrug off. The Willis Tower? I don’t care. Macy’s? Fine. I don’t yet say “DuSable Lake Shore Drive” because it’s a bit of a mouthful, but when I hear it on radio traffic reports I don’t collapse in nostalgic grief.

But occasionally I draw the line. I never used “Tronc” when Tribune Publishing attempted to rebrand, I can’t bring myself to say “Marovitz” in reference to the golf course, and until the very end, which may be soon for that particular platform, I will use “Tweet of the Week” and “Re:Tweets” in reference to the material I continue to curate from among the increasingly toxic postings.

In discarding a recognized and still valuable brand for the vague, generic “X,” Musk seems destined to become the bad example in business and marketing textbooks for the next several generations. I find it more funny than outrageous.

Notes and comments from readers —lightly edited —- along with my responses

L. — Of course your woke attitude is in favor of the stupid woke law that eliminates cash bail in Illinois. The real effect will be to make it easier for both rich and poor to commit more crime and continue to plunder American cities like rats. It will also discourage people who are victims from pressing charges. The rat criminals will strike again, rape again, steal again and kill again. Our fat fuck governor and the shameless woke legislators should live on the South Side or West Side without bodyguards and fancy alarms.

Zorn — Not sure what the governor’s avoirdupois has to do with the wisdom or lack thereof of this new law. The test will come when we ignore the doomsayers and look at crime statistics, not anecdotes.

Skeptic — You seriously expect lawmakers to pay attention to facts to inform how to adjust policy going forward? I imagine your next suggestion will be that they pay attention to scientists who apply analytical skills to evaluate the data and have their work peer reviewed. Dream on.

Zorn — That’s a fair point.

Marc M. — Will “no shows” at trial increase after Illinois gets rid of cash bail in September? Will this incentivize defense attorneys to delay trial? Will there be fewer plea deals? How will the court make up for the loss of bail revenue? The re-arrest for a new crime only counts the dumbest and least capable criminals, since we know the arrest rates for the original crime is so low, so how will we know the real impact of the new law at the individual level?

Zorn — Experiments with this idea elsewhere have not shown a statistical increase in people skipping out on bond, but we’ll see how it plays out here., the first statewide such initiative.

Paul N. — Most neighbors of Ryan Field on the Northwestern campus are not trying to derail the new stadium. We’re trying to stop NU from renting the new facility for concerts that will change the character of our community.  Just a small clarification.

Zorn— I’m neutral on that dispute as I don’t have a dog in that race. My objection is to those who are trying to take advantage of the hazing scandal to try to kill or dramatically alter the project. In the long run, they are utterly unrelated matters.

Peter Z. — Military boot camp for me was one long hazing experience. Fraternities seem to enjoy having their hell week and related activities. Certain service clubs, gangs, and medical internships seem to have a hazing attribute for their new members. So I think hazing is fairly common in American life, but not so much in the business world.

Zorn — As others have pointed out, many of these initiation rituals are tame compared to the degrading, sexualized rites to which Northwestern players were allegedly subjected. Even the somewhat brutal practices at boot-camp seem more purposeful and less humiliating, though that’s just a second-hand observation from someone who has never been through basic training.

If hazing “worked,” if it built a productive, supportive culture in the end, then it would likely be standard business practice. New employees would be subject to deliberately difficult, discomfiting and otherwise gratuitously unpleasant ordeals to cement their commitment to and love for the company.

But that doesn’t happen, and I think we know why. Hazing is just the revenge of the previous generation’s victims, a form of compensatory sadism conducted for the sole benefit of the sadists.

Rick W. — The result of your “guys” poll and the leading tweet appears to indicate that PS has very few readers under 45.

Zorn — Seems so! Only got 225 votes came in on this poll because some sort of tech screw up fouled up the link to the poll in the email edition and for a few hours thereafter. There were too few under 45 votes to be even remotely useful. Among readers over 45, 76% of women and 89% of men are OK with the use of “guys” to address mixed-gender or all-female groups.

My readership is also responding most positively to @fozzie4prez’s tweet, “At the grocery store some old lady seemed like she was hitting on me. Turns out we went to school together.” But there’s still time for you to vote in that poll.

Kevin C. —Why do the media report on national political polls? What difference do they make? Tell me what the polls say in Arizona, Georgia, Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Texas and Florida — the states that are thought to be in play in the 2024 election. Otherwise it doesn’t matter what “most Americans” think about gun control, abortion, etc. or who “most Americans” support for president.

Zorn — My guess? Pollsters have an interest in the national zeitgeist and how it might ultimately impact swing voters in swing states. If, for instance, there is a feeling that the Supreme Court is ignoring the will of a strong majority of Americans, it might motivate certain voters in key states to get out to the polls. But in general you’re right. Our absurd Electoral College system renders the inclusion of Illinois voters in national presidential polls to be misleading, at best.

The real issue may be that state-level polling is spotty and the number of respondents insufficiently large to be useful. Wisconsin, for example, has about 1.8 percent of the population of the U.S., so a random poll of 1,000 Americans will have about 18 Wisconsin residents, a sample size that Survey Monkey says will yield a 23% margin of error. (Speaking of margins of error, these numbers are corrected from the first edition)

Joanie W. — Regarding your post on how “gents” and “ladies” has shifted in the traditional American dance word to “larks” and “robins.” My former girlfriend and I used to go to the Chicago Summer Dance, a free city program where you could learn ballroom dancing. The city put a huge dance floor next to a stage between Balbo and Congress, and, if I remember correctly, between Michigan and Columbus. We weren’t the only lesbian couple who used to go there. During the teaching phase of the evening, they would refer to “leaders” and “followers,” rather than “men” and “women” or “gentlemen” and “ladies.” We felt more welcomed and recognized, and less like outsiders.

Zorn— Glad to hear it and that’s the main point — inclusivity. I didn’t mention “leaders” and “followers” even though some dance callers use that terminology because it retains the sexism that overlays much of social dance. Men — “gents” or “larks” or whatever word you use — tend to lead, which is at least as much a vestige of the patriarchy as the fusty terms “ladies and “gents.” And for most moves in square and contra dancing there isn’t really much leading or following.

Mike K. — I want to second your love of square dancing. Not only is it great fun, but, as you note, it is essentially communal and links us to a past where music was about the community getting together to celebrate (something or just the weekend), and not an industry. We have lost a lot along the way.

The community element is very central to traditional country dancing, which has long been its appeal to me. The challenge level and the social pressure are both comparatively low, which makes it very accessible.

David O. — You linked to an article in the Trace that reported that 56% of all gun deaths last year were by suicide and noted that this seems like a good argument for not having guns in the home. But that means 44% of suicides are from non-firearm methods. And that seems to me like a good argument for not having ropes, belts, knives, prescription drugs, electrical appliances or automobiles in the home. I’m not disputing that suicides might be reduced if there was not a gun in the house, but suicides by other means would certainly go up dramatically.

Zorn — “Firearms are the most lethal method of suicide attempts, and about half of suicide attempts take place within 10 minutes of the current suicide thought, so having access to firearms is a suicide risk factor,” according to Kaiser Family Foundation research. So you might be right about suicide attempts using other means going up in places where guns are not in the home, but most of those other means are less successful, and preventing successful suicide attempts is very high priority. Given the evicently impulsive nature of suicidal thoughts/attempts, it would seem smartest not to have guns in one’s home.

Not always, of course, but if you’re playing the safety odds, you won’t have a gun around.

Harlan F. — I can’t believe plain Cheerios beat Honey Nut Cheerios in the finals of your poll. Plain Cheerios are bland. They taste only a bit better than packing peanuts. What is wrong with your readers?

Zorn — The 58%-42% landslide after nearly 700 votes stunned and disappointed me as well, but I wonder what’s wrong with you that you know what packing peanuts taste like.

Steve I. — I called Tribune customer service number — 312-546-7900 — a month ago and cancelled the “premium” issues to save $10 s month. Then my bill arrived and it was $223 for eight weeks as it had been before. I called back and related the previous conversation. The agent told me that the premium issues have nothing at all to do with the subscription fee. I asked what he could do to lower my bill and he offered a $120 rate.

Zorn — If what you say is true, the agent flat out lied to you. I want to be clear again that the Tribune is in no way uniquely guilty of sneaky, deceptive, opaque subscription pricing. An entire economy rests on exploiting consumer inertia and inattention. I reserve a great deal of disappointment that the Tribune is so shamelessly part of it.

Ya gotta see these tweets!

Here are some funny visual jokes I've come across recently, some on Twitter, some elsewhere. The source is not always evident, sadly. Enjoy, then evaluate:

Vote for your favorite. I will disqualify any tweets I later find out used digitally altered photos. I’ll share the winner in Thursday’s main edition.

There’s still time to vote in the conventional Tweet of the Week poll!

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