62 Comments

Re: Babies and chickens -

From your mouth, I hope.

I'm afraid, though, that the Red Chickens may be thinking that Babies will blame the Blue Chickens only for financial hardship and they will ride to permanent power on the ensuing anger.

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May 25, 2023·edited May 25, 2023

“News: The 'human composting' bill is dead for now.” -- Zorn

Don’t lose hope, for an alternative to human composting is the somewhat more present and permanent idea of human taxidermy – have the local street-corner taxidermist stuff and preserve your corpse at death to be remembered through all ages in life-like 3D – stuff Uncle Jed and Aunt Mary holding serving plates standing by the entrance door to your home with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres for mourners as they filter in for a somber celebration of his/her life, for example. This way survivors have a continual life-like image to remember him/her by every time they come-and-go; it is useful … and because it is legal, there is no need for new legislation -- the party can start anytime!

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I might opt for the Vladimir Lenin approach and get staged in a glass box. Might make an interesting coffee table or part of a room divider. Also provides some protection from accidental or intentional damage. I also like the idea of an angry grizzly pose. So many possibilities.

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Lol ....

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May 25, 2023Liked by Eric Zorn

MUCH better crops of Tweets this week when compared to last week's abysmal offering. Particularly like the Exorcist, Optician, and Crow tweets

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I agree....I don't think I even bothered to vote last week. But...could you explain the Crow treat? I didn't get it.

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A group of crows is called a "murder".

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So disappointing to read that the human composting bill is dead in the Senate. Wondering if Senator Simmons would share the identities of those who voiced opposition to the bill. Sincere letters explaining how meaningful and respectful such an option would be, even from non-constituents, might be helpful.

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Theater vs Theatre

I think movie theater vs live theatre is pretty much a done deal these days.

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Live Theatre/er -

Chicago Shakespeare Theater.

Studebaker Theater.

Goodman Theatre.

Steppenwolf Theatre.

Harris Theater for Music and Dance.

Mercury Theater Chicago

Victory Gardens Theater.

Apollo Theater

Theater Wit

Some movie theatres:

Music Box Theatre

Pickwick Theatre

Uptown Theatre

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I agree that it would be nice to see the Denver Nuggets win the NBA title this year. Their best player, Nikola Jokic, is a joy to watch. He's a 7 footer who can handle the ball like a point guard and it seems like he would rather make a pass than take a shot. It is rare to see such an unselfish player in the NBA. Go Nuggets!

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Given the polls about being a stickler, I gotta be one myself: That's not an Oakland A's hat in the toilet. That's a hat with a generic A.

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author

That was the best that the DALL-E AI image generator could come up with.

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Yet further proof we have nothing to fear from our would-be robot overlords.

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You touched a nerve when you mentioned banana splits. Many many years ago when I was 15 I worked at an ice cream/hamburger joint as an underaged and untrained server.

A trucker showed up one afternoon and ordered a banana split. I had one banana which I cut lengthwise as well as a good part of my finger. I was bleeding heavily into the banana boat.

I wrapped my finger around a towel and finished making the split. I noticed the split was very red so I added extra strawberries. With bleeding finger wrapped in a towel under the counter I served him the bloody split.

He ate the whole thing and left me a decent tip. I broke numerous health codes and I hope to this day the trucker was okay and NEVER acquired a taste for blood.

I got the finger bandaged and it eventually healed.

I never made or ate another banana split which I think was a good idea for everybody!

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Re "Babies"

My favorite sound bite from the National dialog leading up to the Affordable Care Act was from a town hall meeting when an attendee said "Keep your government hands off of my Medicare."

A full contradiction in just one sentence.

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Long before the dangers of unproteced sun exposure were known, "to lay out" or "laying out" (as we called it when I was young) was very popular. I think it is the correct term when describing that particular activity.

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author

I wouldn't say "correct." I would concede that idiomatic incorrect usage has made it standard and therefore acceptable to most lights. Like starting a sentence with "hopefully" or referring to a person with the pronoun "that," as in, "Zorn is the guy that writes the best newsletter on the internet."

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I am more bothered by poor grammar, misuse of words, and corruptions of words by professional communicators. I expect them and their editors to meet a higher standard than the average person.

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I agree. The piss poor grammar and word usage by the masses of our dumbed down culture are to be expected, but it particularly grates when journalists and other professionals use “hung” when they mean “hanged”, use “begging the question” when they mean “raising the question”, use “literally” when they mean “figuratively”, “infer” when they mean “imply”, “hopefully” when they mean “one hopes”, and on and on and on.

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But note that in the olden days, laying out referred to preparing a body for its coffin.

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Those Church of Satan folks need to pick a new name that is slightly more reflective of their beliefs. Provocative, much?

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You gotta throw some bombs with your name/slogan otherwise no one cares.

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Recent deaths: Tina Turner, Private Dancer, Sam Zell, grave dancer. One is a goddess, the other, another billionaire who thinks if they know about money they know about everything. One made me cry; it was not Sam Zell.

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Think I'll head to the "Olde Koffee Shoppe" and relax and digest all this.

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What's "attempted" by the murder of Crow(e)s?

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May 25, 2023·edited May 25, 2023

A group of crows is called a murder. So, I guess they are attempting to gather? I thought it was too awkward to by funny.

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I think omitting the word "attempted" makes the tweet funnier.

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Incorrect. The joke hinges on the fact that they spell their names differently

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Maybe Eric should have said the human composting bill is buried for now?

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Good one! I thought 'put on ice'.

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Funny! ... or, the human composting bill is crucified for now.

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