Wars of words are splitting the local left
& the primary victories of Trump-backed candidates are likely to spell defeats for the party in the November
ericzorn.substack.com
5-21-2026
This week:
Pritzker v. Johnson; Sacks v. Davis Gates — Wars of words on the left. Can’t we all just get along?
News and Views — Hot takes, fully baked on why I’m encouraged about the results of the Kentucky primary and Trump’s endorsement in Texas; on the irony/hypocrisy looming over the Broadview Six trial; on the reason why JB Pritzker is unlikely to commute the sentence of Larry Hoover; on the last call for Schlitz.
That’s so Brandon! — Updates on the misadventures of Chicago’s maladroit mayor
Land of Linkin’ — Where I tell readers where to go
Squaring up the news — Where Charlie Meyerson tells readers where to go
Media notes — Changes at WLS-AM, Chicago’s biggest waste of kilowatts. How the “Dead Web” is hurting news organizations. Local vocal talent is suing for alleged voice theft. The lame-ass time-brokered show that will replace Colbert. Broadcasters with Chicago ties who are being inducted into the Radio Hall of fame.
Quotables — A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately
Quips — The winning visual jokes and this week’s contest finalists
Good Sports — Should hecklers complain when ballplayers cuss them out? How is Angel Reese doing in Atlanta? Do remember the first Napoleon Solo?
Green Lights — A pair of excellent SNL skits
Wars of words on the left: Pritzker v. Johnson and Sacks v. Davis Gates
Gov. JB Pritzker speaking to reporters Monday about Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson:
He has no plan, there’s no plan. … The mayor has shown up every spring at the end of session to pronounce what he would like to see happen. And as you know, the budget gets put together starting in November. I present my budget. Well, really, we start at the beginning of a fiscal year, but about in November we’re in the details of the budget. I present that budget to the legislature in February, so that seems like a good time period to come talk to the governor’s office. Then there’s February to May. There’s all that time to come talk to the legislature, which has my budget in hand or the governor’s office again, we’ve seen almost nothing out of the mayoral administration here on that subject, or really any other. And so to show up in May and have a bunch of demands seems like late in the game, and it’s unfortunate that’s happened most years.
Johnson on WVON-AM on Tuesday when asked to respond:
The mayor conceded that his approach to the issue wasn’t perfect, but argued that state lawmakers and the team pushing for the so-called “megaprojects” bill was “undermining” Chicago, which he referred to as the state’s “economic engine.”
“Retrospectively, could I have approached things differently? Of course,” Johnson said. “I’m always going to be retrospective about ‘Should have I said something differently?’ … The difference or the disconnect is, look, we do come from different experiences,” Johnson said. “I’m not a billionaire. I’m not the heir of billions of dollars. I’m a working-class brotha that was teaching middle school a handful of years ago. … The governor and I had different upbringings. He doesn’t know what it’s like to open up a refrigerator and ain’t no food in it. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have a long orange extension cord from our window to our neighbor’s window just to keep electricity flowing.” …
Johnson has continued his push to keep the team in Chicago.
“To deny the people of Chicago an opportunity for our plan to be debated, that is malpractice, and it’s derelict of duty, and I’m always gonna fight for Chicago,” he said. “I don’t care who you are. I’m going to fight.”
Pritzker wasn’t wrong that Johnson just isn’t very good at generating alliances to advance the city’s agenda in Springfield. The mayor seems to suffer from Blago Syndrome, a belief that if you just strongly enough impugn the motives and character of lawmakers who aren’t on board with you, they’ll eventually come around to your side.
And Pritzker wasn’t wrong that Johnson doesn’t have much meat on the bones of his notion to keep the Bears in Chicago. The governor’s remarks were a signal that he would prefer to have a new mayor in place a year from now.
And Johnson wasn’t wrong when he said that Chicago is the economic engine of the state. A governor can’t be successful if the city isn’t successful.
But Pritzker’s was the kind of criticism that should have been offered behind closed doors and many months if not several years ago. The fate of the city and the state are deeply entwined, and these two ought to be be cooperating and negotiating behind the scenes rather than bickering in front of microphones.
Johnson, meanwhile, needs to start picking battles he can win.
Then there’s this:
In what amounted to an open letter to Democratic megadonor Michael Sacks, the Chicago Teachers Union president asked Sacks not to boost candidates in upcoming school board elections:
I am writing to ask you to demonstrate your commitment to an independent, student-centered board by not contributing to the fly-by-night operators we witnessed in the primary and suspending any further contributions to empower Chicago’s parents, educators, and families to vote their preferences.
If Chicago’s civic, labor, and philanthropic leadership can find the discipline to set the standard and keep this election in the hands of the people, the collective attention and resources of this city can remain available for the fights that follow — fights that, based on your public statements, I hope that you and I may find ourselves on the same side of.
Chicago’s voters deserve a level playing field to make their choice for school board, not an uphill battle in an arena where investment capital and out-of-state interest tip the scales.
We owe Chicago’s voters a school board election that belongs to Chicago’s voters. Not to Wall Street. Not to Silicon Valley. Not to a constellation of shell committees that will move on to the next race the day after ours is decided.
I would welcome a private conversation to discuss this further and would look forward to jointly spreading this message together.
Sacks was not having it. Here is the meatiest part of his reply:
Your letter may be the most transparently disingenuous outreach I have seen. …
No one in this city is focused more on spending big money on politics, or deploys that money more forcefully or creatively, than you do. You have fully embraced funneling CTU money through ”shell committees,” friendly sounding PACs like “Our Schools PAC” and “Grassroots PAC.” And you are raising dues on CPS teachers now precisely to be able to spend more money on politics.
Now you suggest that Chicagoans who believe your outsized influence over the district has failed CPS students and families (and by extension your own teachers) ought to simply stand down? My grandmother would have called that chutzpah.
You are putting forward Hilario Dominguez, a paid deputy on your political staff, for the citywide role of CPS Board President, despite his being entirely unqualified to lead a system the size of CPS, the largest unit of government in Cook County. Previously you welcomed Brandon Johnson’s appointment to CPS Board President of a disbarred lawyer who entertains 9/11 conspiracy theories and appears to regard women’s economic independence as a problem. And you think others should step aside and cede the field to you?
For an experienced political operative, the cynicism, transparency and weakness of your gambit with the letter genuinely escapes me.
About the dues increase on teachers, here’s Austin Berg, head of the Chicago Policy Center:
Under the proposed dues hike, Chicago teachers would see up to $800 more per year flow from their paychecks to union coffers. The union already takes in more than $40 million a year, mostly from dues. And it spends less than 18 cents of every dollar on teacher representation.
The No. 1 reason for the proposed dues hike? Politics.
“We must win a majority of the first 21 person fully elected school board in November,” reads the first point in CTU’s member FAQ document.
I’ve long warned that school board elections in a district as big and important as Chicago are bound to turn into major cluster events. It’s not going to be a battle between “out-of-state interests” and Chicago parents, but rather a battle between national interests on various sides of debates over public education. Millions from outside pro-union and pro-charter/voucher/privatization groups will flood in.
Last week’s winning quip
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? One, or two? — @ThePunnyWorld
Here are this week’s nominees and the winner of the Tuesday visual-jokes poll. Here is the direct link to the new poll.
News & Views
News: Incumbent Kentucky Republican congressman curb-stomped in a primary by Team Trump
View: With luck, this will come back to bite MAGA in the butt. U.S. Rep. Thomas Massie, who sinned against Trumpian orthodoxy by joining forces with Democrats who wanted to hold Donald Trump to his campaign promise to release the Trump-Epstein files and who opposed the war against Iran (both quite popular positions nationally), lost by 10 percentage points Tuesday to a White House-backed challenger.
It’s the latest in a string of largely successful flexes in which Trump has illustrated his iron grip on Republican base voters and reminded independent voters and lazy Democrats who might want to stay home in November that there’s no daylight between the Republican brand and Trump himself.
This week, Trump announced his endorsement of ethically challenged Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton in his runoff challenge next Tuesday to incumbent Republican U.S. Sen John Cornyn. The reason for the endorsement is that Paxton has more energetically and enthusiastically licked Trump’s boots than Cornyn, and it could prove yet another reminder of Trump’s political muscle.
But Trump is unpopular among the broader electorate, and the more MAGA the Republican candidates are, the more likely that voters in closely fought races will reject them.
News: “Broadview Six” facing misdemeanor charges in a federal court trial
View: The irony couldn’t be thicker. Bumptious protesters who allegedly attempted to “interrupt, hinder and impede” federal agents when they were in town last year to round up brown people for deportation are in the federal docket facing trial next week. At the same time, the Justice Department has just announced a $1.776 billion fund to compensate Trump allies who claim they were prosecuted for political reasons.
News: Advocates for former gang leader and drug kingpin Larry Hoover are asking Gov. JB Pritzker to commute his sentence.
View: Not gonna happen as long as Pritzker is running for reelection and has presidential ambitions. True, Donald Trump commuted Hoover’s federal sentence a year ago, but that still left him serving a 200-year sentence in Illinois prison for a 1973 murder conviction. Here’s some of what the Tribune’s Jason Meisner wrote at the time (gift link):
Once one of the nation’s largest street gangs, the Gangster Disciples became a major criminal force under Hoover’s leadership, with operations that spread to dozens of U.S. cities and were as sophisticated as many legitimate corporations, including a strict code of conduct for members and a franchise-style system for drug sales. …
Federal prosecutors have vehemently opposed any breaks for Hoover, now 74, arguing he did untold damage to communities across Chicago during his reign on the streets. They argued he has continued to hold sway over the gang’s hierarchy while imprisoned, even promoting an underling he’d secretly communicated with through coded messages hidden in a dictionary.
Hoover’s attorneys, meanwhile, have claimed that decades behind bars have left him a changed man and that prosecutors have unfairly painted him as a puppet master to try to keep him locked up.
At a hearing last year, U.S. District Judge John Robert Blakey asked Hoover’s defense attorney (Jennifer Bonjean) point-blank: “How many other murders is he responsible for?”
“I don’t know what the methodology is for determining that,” attorney Bonjean replied, somewhat taken aback by the unusually blunt query.
“So many we can’t count?” Blakey shot back.
(Bonjean) sarcastically suggested that Hoover is responsible for every murder ever committed by a member of the Gangster Disciples … (and later) called the judge’s question “inappropriate.”
A commutation putting a man back on the streets who can’t or won’t tally up the murders he was responsible for would be politically dicey for Pritzker. If he’s reelected and decides not to make a White House bid, Pritzker might decide to take the chance that Hoover could at last be a force for good.
News: Schlitz will stop brewing Saturday after 177 years
View: I guess we’re out of beer now, since one of the brand’s slogans was, “When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.” Another slogan was “The beer that made Milwaukee famous.” I have no memory of ever drinking or even being offered a Schlitz, so I’m unmoved by the news that it’s joining Lowenbrau, Meister Brau, Olympia, Falstaff and other suds that have either been discontinued or are nearly impossible to find on U.S. shelves.
That’s So Brandon!
Johnson claimed last year his office had in fact undertaken a “national search” for a new CTA leader. But public records requests filed by the Tribune showed the city had never undertaken a formalized search of any kind.
Land of Linkin’
Variety relates one of the weirdest Hollywood stories I’ve heard in years: “Ryan Gosling Was Fired From ‘Lovely Bones’ After Gaining 60 Pounds.”
Flash-mob musical performances seem a little old by now — they began in 2003 — but it’s hard to imagine one ever topping this amazing stunt version of the 1975 hit “Bohemian Rhapsody” performed by some 30 musicians on the Place de la Contrescarpe in Paris last July.
New York Times gift link: “Book on Truth in the Age of A.I. Contains Quotes Made Up by A.I.” The book “The Future of Truth” is a warning about the impacts of the AI revolution, and the somewhat defiant author defended himself to the Times by saying, “I used A.I. tools ChatGPT and Claude during the research, writing and editing process. … These A.I. errors do not, in fact, diminish the larger questions that the book raises about truth, trust and A.I. and its impact on society.”
CWB Chicago: “Bystanders beat man and hurled him onto Blue Line tracks after he pushed woman from platform.”
Vox: “9 charts that show US factory farming is even bigger than you realize.”
“A History of the United States in 100 Objects” is a new podcast series that “tells the story of America, one thing at a time. Hosted by (former Chicagoan) Roman Mars and produced by BBC Studios and 99% Invisible, each week, an object opens the door into an extraordinary, often shocking story – about who we’ve been, what we’ve built, and what we’ve allowed ourselves to forget.” Similarly, I’ve heard good things about the podcast “A History of Rock Music in 500 Songs.” If you can afford the gasoline, these would be great listening on summer road trips.
On this week’s episode of “The Mincing Rascals” podcast, Cate Plys, Marj Halperin and I joined guest host Jon Hansen to discuss the news of the week. The segment on the Build Illinois initiative was especially informative. At least to me. Subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Or bookmark this page. If you’re not a podcast listener, you can hear an edited version of the show at 8 p.m. most Saturday evenings on WGN-AM 720. Look for the YouTube version that will be posted later in the week.
From the Picayune Plus:
My ‘I Am Not an Unethical Alderman’ shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt. — The curious case of 45th Ward Ald. James Gardiner’s defamation lawsuit against the city.
Garrison Keillor slams Bob Dylan as a “mediocre songwriter.” — Readers strongly disagree.
Squaring up the news
This is a bonus supplement to the Land of Linkin’ from veteran radio, internet and newspaper journalist Charlie Meyerson. Each week, he offers a selection of intriguing links from his daily email news briefing Chicago Public Square:
■ Google’s unveiled what it calls its biggest search upgrade in a quarter century: A visit to Google.com activates an “intelligent search box” that’ll expand to accommodate longer, conversational queries and help users compose ’em—prompting CNN’s Lisa Eadicicco to conclude that “Google wants to help you google less” and the AV Club to counsel: “Time to google ‘Google replacement.’”
■ Comcast/Xfinity may owe you $50—or more. It’s notifying customers whose personal information was breached in October 2023 that they can claim cash under a class-action settlement. Scour your email for the plaintiff’s name, “Hasson.”
■ The New York Times (gift link): Trump’s deportations are costing Americans jobs—especially in the construction biz.
■ Talking Points Memo: “Trump’s blatantly corrupt slush fund” has forced his acolytes, including acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, “to sorta publicly eat shit.”
■ “One of the most important satirists in American history”: That’s what a Penn State literature professor declares Stephen Colbert—whose final week on CBS began with a “Worst of” episode—the unedited version of which has been posted online.
■ “Give those pearls a rest, Methuselah”: Columnist Mike Gold comforts oldsters mourning the decline of cursive writing.
You can (and should) subscribe to Chicago Public Square free here.
Media notes
Changes at WLS-AM, Chicago’s biggest waste of kilowatts
Program director Stephanie Tichenor is out after seven years at WLS-AM 890. Her replacement, under the title of “operations director,” is veteran senior technical producer Michael Garay. The 50kw clear-channel station has been broadcasting for 102 years and was once a vital and diverse regional outlet with local hosts who engaged local audiences on Chicago, Illinois and national issues.
But under the ownership of Atlanta-based Cumulus Media since 2011, it has become an increasingly irrelevant outlet for syndicated right-wing talk. It now has just one daily local show, and unless Cumulus decides to reinvent the station with fresh programming that’s not just pale imitations of what cable and podcast outlets generate in great volume, new leadership in Chicago won’t increase its sagging profile.
The “Dead Web” is hurting news organizations
In an NPR article headlined “NPR trims jobs in newsroom overhaul as it confronts era without public funding,” reporter David Folkenflik notes:
The way major tech companies, especially Google, have integrated AI into search engines and apps means people are presented with AI-synthesized information before individual search results. This has led to a sharp drop in referrals to NPR's website; in some cases they have all but vanished. Some are calling this "Google Zero" or the "Dead Web."
I get that. I click through when I need to verify a fact for this publication, but when I’m simply curious about something, the AI summary at the top of the search result often suffices.
“AP finishes US restructuring with round of 20 layoffs, part of strategic pivot from print journalism”
Over the past four years, the AP’s revenue from newspapers has declined by 25%. Gannett and McClatchy, two of the largest traditional newspaper publishers, dropped AP in 2024.
Voice thieves?
Capitol News Illinois reports that a group of local journalists, podcasters and voice actors has filed a federal class-action suit against Google, Amazon, Apple, Microsoft and others tech companies accusing them of using their distinctive voices to train AI.
Locally famous broadcast journalists like Carol Marin and Phil Rogers, both retired from Chicago’s NBC 5 news station, along with podcast hosts and voice actors allege the companies ingested recordings of their voices in order to train their AI “foundational voice models.” …
Other plaintiffs include journalist Robin Amer, audiobook narrators and voice actors Lindsay Dorcus and Victoria Nassif, and podcasters Yohance Lacour and Alison Flowers — all Illinois residents.
Another term for this is time brokering
Airing in Colbert’s place starting Friday? A decidedly non-topical comedy show, “Comics Unleashed,” that CBS isn’t even paying to make. In fact, CBS is being paid to air it … (by) Byron Allen, a former stand-up comedian who got his start writing alongside Letterman and Leno for Jimmie Walker and now owns 13 television stations, the Weather Channel and, soon, a majority stake in BuzzFeed. In an interview, Allen wouldn’t disclose how much he is paying for the time slot but said it is in the tens of millions.
Brokered programming (also known as time-buy and blocktime) is a form of broadcast content in which the show’s producer pays a radio or television station for air time, rather than exchanging programming for pay or the opportunity to play spot commercials. A brokered program is typically not capable of garnering enough support from advertisements to pay for itself, and may be controversial, esoteric or an advertisement in itself.
Common examples are religious and political programs and talk-show-format programs similar to infomercials on television.
Sun-Times: “Malik Jackson, former executive director and publisher of South Side Media Works, which operates South Side Weekly, will be the Chicago Reader’s next publisher starting June 1.”
Nieman Journalism Lab: “More than 340 local news outlets are limiting the Internet Archive’s access to their journalism.”
Fred Winston and Charlie Van Dyke, air personalities with local connections (to WLS-AM in part) are in the class of eight inductees to the Radio Hall of Fame this year.
Quotables
A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately
Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg — God forbid you buy shoes, as I have. Facebook will dangle the shoes you just bought under your nose for a month, hoping you’ll buy a second pair. And this is the super-intelligence that would rule us.
Unknown — Love your neighbor. Feed the poor. Heal the sick. Welcome the stranger. There’s nothing Republican Christians hate more than the teachings of Jesus.
Betty Bowers — Most people follow the faith of their family. So religion isn't about finding "truth"—it's about conformity.
Andrew Egger at The Bulwark — Trump, as he has made clear all along, simply thinks attacking police on his behalf is behavior that should be rewarded, not punished. … He pardoned them all because he approved of what all of them had done. Now he plans to pay them with your money, too.
Rod Blagojevich — I was the first governor to endorse Obama for President back in 2007. I was there when he announced in Springfield Illinois. I have known him since 1995. Do I think it likely he ordered a phony intelligence assessment in December of 2016 to destroy Trump & his new administration? ABSOLUTELY!
Democratic U.S. Sens. Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire and Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts on Trump’s extension of sanctions relief on Russian oil — The Trump Administration is delivering another dangerous and indefensible gift to Vladimir Putin by extending sanctions relief for Russian oil yet again. Every additional dollar the Kremlin earns from this license helps Putin finance his illegal war against Ukraine and kill innocent Ukrainians.
Pat Brady, Illinois state Republican Party chair from 2009 to 2013 — You can draw a direct line, in my opinion, from Donald Trump into the demise of the Illinois Republican Party because Donald Trump’s message never has and never will sell in the suburbs. … They’ve abandoned my notion of traditional conservatism for Trumpism, which is populism, and they’ve bought all in, and so whatever Trump says or does, they agree with, and they’re not going to change their minds, no matter what he does, and that has decimated the Illinois Republican Party.
Carlos Greaves — You might be familiar with the acronym TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out). Perhaps you’ve even heard the more recent acronym NACHO (Not A Chance Hormuz Opens). But there are plenty more Trump acronyms where those came from. Here are a few you probably haven’t heard yet that are equally relevant: TAMALE — Trump Always Makes America Look Embarrassing. TORTA — Trump Only Rarely Thinks Ahead. FAJITA — Forget About Jurisprudence If Trump’s Around. … CHIMICHANGA — Criminal Hegseth Is Making It Clear He Approves of Nuclear Genocidal Armageddon.
Qasim Rashid — It took Republicans 40 years, but they gutted the Environmental Protection Agency; 50 years but they repealed Roe v. Wade; 60 years but the gutted the Votring Rights Act. All three are wildly popular with the American people. Republicans don’t care
S.E. Cupp on Donald Trump — His presidencies have been marked by rank incompetence, unprecedented greed and self-dealing, naked corruption, ethical, legal and moral breaches and, as we repeatedly see, a rise in political division and anger. From impeachments to an insurrection to who-knows-what is still to come, the era of Trump has hardly been worthy of admiration.
Bill Kristol — I’m pro-freedom, pro-law and order, pro-limited government, and pro-the Declaration and the Constitution. And so today I’m a Democrat.
Former U.S. Labor Secretary Robert Reich — Trump and his appointees have so profoundly undermined the United States government that we should use different words to describe these people than we’ve used to describe all previous administrations. To begin with, they shouldn’t be called an “administration” at all. They should be referred to as a regime.
How’s that makey-greaty stuff workin’ out for ya?
■ The Trump Department of Justice wants taxpayers to pony up $1.776 billion (you see what they did there?) to pay alleged victims of a “weaponized” federal justice system, victims who may include those who beat the hell out of Capitol Police officers on Jan. 6, 2021. The deal includes a document in which the DOJ dictates that the Internal Revenue Service is “forever barred” from investigating Trump’s previous tax returns.
The memo prohibits the IRS from pursuing claims against Trump, his family or his businesses, saying the agency “releases, waives, acquits” its pending action. … In seeking to voluntarily dismiss the case, the parties are sidestepping a federal judge who had asked Trump and the Justice Department to explain whether they were truly adversaries, as is required to bring a case. … The New York Times and ProPublica previously found a years-long audit of his tax bill could cost Trump as much as $100 million.
So now the Trump regime has immunity from tax crimes and a slush fund though which it can secretly pay his supporters who make piteous claims that they were prosecuted because they had MAGA motivations for using bear spray, tasers, hockey sticks and fire extinguishers on cops trying to prevent them from murdering members of Congress.
Corruption is now legal and flagrant. The self-dealing could hardly be more obvious.
■ And there’s also “Trump discloses thousands of stock trades, some in companies directly influenced by his policies.”
U.S. law bans federal employees from holding financial assets that could be impacted by their policy work, but there is a carveout for the president. … Since (Trump) became president again, the Trump Organization has taken in tens of millions in upfront fees from overseas developers that want to put his name on resorts and hundreds of millions from cryptocurrency sales, mostly anonymous, making it impossible to know if the purchaser were trying to curry favor with the president.
■ “GasBuddy Forecasts Most Expensive Summer at the Pump in Years.” Here’sbTrump’s reaction to questions about rising energy prices: “This is peanuts! … I don’t even think about that. What I think about is you can’t let Iran have a nuclear weapon.”
■ “U.S. Conducts Third Boat Strike in 5 Days, Killing 2 and Leaving a Survivor” (New York Times gift link)
The strike on Friday, the latest after the military accelerated its pace of attacks in recent weeks, brought the death toll to at least 192. Military experts say that the strikes are illegal, extrajudicial killings.
Yes, it’s ghastly and immoral, killing people on scant or no proof of wrongdoing, but no one seems to care anymore.
Quips
In Tuesday’s paid-subscriber editions, I present my favorite tweets that rely on visual humor. Subscribers then vote for their favorite. Here is the winner from this week’s contest:
Anyone can vote in the contest, but to have it delivered fresh to your email inbox each Tuesday morning along with the rest of the Picayune Plus, to participate in the comment forums and to ease your conscience, you can become a paid supporter:
The new nominees for Quip of the Week:
The price of gas is so high, my mailman is working from home. He just called and read my bills to me. — @ThrillaRilla369
What does “lest” mean? I forget. — @wildethingy
I disagree with everything Trump says and does, but falling asleep in meetings is something I can fully get behind. — @tokyosexwhale
The numbers don’t lie. Anyone who “lights up the room,” eventually gets murdered. — @WilliamAder
The H in Jesus H .Christ stands for Herbert. — @stevesuckington.bsky.social
One of my favorite argument maneuvers is when someone is in violent disagreement with me, and I say to the other person “I think we’re saying the same thing.” — @jakevig.bsky.social
Detective: So they were fast as lightning and fought with expert timing. Anything else? Me: Did I mention that, in fact, it was a little bit frighteni-- Detective: Yeah, you said that. — @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage to click on “Here’s everything we know about your favorite show’s next season” links, knowing full well it just says, “We actually don’t know anything.” — @madrigal.bsky.social
I’m annoyed at the Thursday version of me for making plans for the Sunday version of me. — @difficultpatty
You know very well, autocorrect, that I was never ass king. — @wildethingy
Vote here and check the current results in the poll.
Good Sports
Good headline graphic for the crosstown series
Hey sports hecklers, get lost!
Sure, Cub center fielder Pete Crow-Armstrong was out of line when he reportedly told a White Sox fan during the crosstown series over the weekend, “Suck my fucking dick, bitch!” after she taunted him for not snagging a fly ball. The Sun-Times reported:
(Heckling Crow-Armstrong) was the whole reason she had planned to hold her engagement party in this spot. … “Our goal the entire time we planned this,’’ she said, “was we knew PCA was in center field and we’re like, we’re going to heckle him at some point.’’ … “Right when he was up at the fence, we’re like, ‘This is our prime opportunity, OK?’ ’’ she said. “So we just got booing him. I said he sucked, missing a fly ball.”
I’m no longer a Cub fan, but this woman is an idiot. Crow-Armstrong doesn’t suck. He’s a Gold Glove-winning MLB All-Star, and the fly ball that he “missed” would have been a sensational catch.
He told the Sun-Times that he “popped” after “getting my mom called a whore (while I was on deck) for five straight at-bats.”
Crow-Armstrong is getting paid millions of dollars to play a game, and he needs to have a thicker skin, granted. He apologized for his outburst and reportedly will pay a $5,000 fine to the league (about two-tenths of a percent of his upcoming salary. It’s similar to a fine of $25 levied against someone making $100,000 a year).
But a ticket to a ballgame shouldn’t entitle a fan to the right to abuse players with vulgar language, and security should be giving the summary heave-ho to those who go beyond booing to express their dislike for opposing players.
This opinion got a lot of pushback when I offered it on “The Mincing Rascals,” with the other panelists saying that “you suck!” is a perfectly fine, anodyne taunt and that for PCA to say, “You suck my fucking dick, bitch!” was deeply misogynistic and way out of bounds. My view — that though PCA’s response was over the top, it wasn’t to be taken any more literally than many other graphic taunts involving sexual and execratory functions — did not win the argument.
But if we’re going to be literal, remember that “you suck” is not derived from an insult comparing a person to a vacuum cleaner.
Angel Reese ‘had arguably the worst game of her entire career’ Sunday
Curious about how former WNBA Sky standout Angel Reese is doing now that she plays for Atlanta? I was, too, and found this post at The Comeback, a sports news and commentary site:
Sunday’s game against the Las Vegas Aces did not go well for Reese. After expressing confidence heading into the game and calling herself a “great player,” Reese had arguably the worst game of her entire career.
In 29 minutes of action, Reese managed just nine points and eight rebounds, making just 1-of-8 shots from the field while turning the ball over an eye-popping eight times as a forward who does not spend much time handling the ball. While Reese did score nine points in the game, seven of them came from the free-throw line. …
After the eight-turnover performance, Reese now leads the league in turnovers.
With Reese struggling to make shots and continually turning the ball over, the Dream eventually opted to bench her down the stretch, and the move nearly led to a comeback.
Reese has yet to learn that, unless you are a truly a generational talent, it’s wisest to let others extoll your greatness. Most truly great athletes let their playing do the talking.
Meanwhile, the snake-bitten Chicago Sky can’t catch a break. Leading scorer Rickea Jackson suffered a season-ending torn ACL just three games into the schedule, just as veteran starting guard Courtney Vandersloot tore her ACL in the seventh game last season. Vandersloot is still recovering.
A horse named Napoleon Solo won the Preakness Stakes. Does that name ring a bell?
The NBC show “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” starring Robert Vaughn as secret agent Napoleon Solo went off the air more than 58 years ago, so many of my readers will remember the name as well as the name of his sidekick Illya Kuryakin (played by David McCallum). Their adversary was Thrush, a shadowy organization bent on world domination.
Have any of you watched it recently on the stream? Does the show hold up?
Green Lights
Green Light features recommendations from me and readers not only of songs — as in the former Tune of the Week post — but also of TV shows, streaming movies, books, podcasts and other diversions that, with only rare exceptions, can be enjoyed at home.
The quality of “Saturday Night Live” ebbs and flows both in episodes and over the years, but even after 51 seasons, it still produces quality comedy like “The Crumbling Marriage Of Two Auctioneers,” the final sketch on the May 9 show. It featured Matt Damon and Sarah Sherman, the 2015 Northwestern graduate and former Chicago stand-up comedian who is emerging as a superstar in the cast:
You didn’t have to know that the sketch parodied “Storage Wars” — I didn’t — to be astounded by the memorization and timing required to pull this off on live TV. Most segments on the show rely on cue cards, but this one pretty clearly didn’t.
While I’m at it, I’ll green-light another memorable bit from the just-completed season, the debate between the most popular emoji — the heart — and the least popular — the aerial tramway.
On “The Mincing Rascals,” Cate Plys gave a green light to the Apple TV series “Widow’s Bay.” Marj Halperin gave a green light to the new Timeline Theater building in Uptown, and guest host Jon Hansen gave a yellow light to the HBO series “The Gilded Age.”
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I am a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. I began publishing the Picayune Sentinel on Sept. 9, 2021, roughly two and a half months after I took a buyout from the newspaper. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise. Browse and search back issues here.
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Wait until Trump finds out the “51st state” is full of Venezuelans!
So Johnson having grown up poor means he can't approach the governor and legislators earlier with his budget concerns? I am having trouble connecting the dots between what the governor said and Johnson's response.