Zorn: Trump has become the schoolyard bully in chief
12-19-2024 (issue No. 172)
This week:
It’s intolerable that we keep paying out millions in police pursuit cases
That’s so Brandon! — Harsh words from allies for Chicago’s maladroit mayor
Land of Linkin’ — Where I tell readers where to go
Squaring up the news — Where Charlie Meyerson tells readers where to go
Cheer Chat — The season finale of my “Songs of Good Cheer” updates
Mary Schmich — Collected mini-reviews of “Songs of Good Cheer.”
Quotables — A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately
Quips — The winning visual jokes and this week’s contest finalists
Good Sports — First-round college playoff predictions and a peep of objection to the new name, “Rate Field”
Tune of the Week — “Smile” by Lily Allen
Stand up to Trump or everything falls
President-elect Donald Trump has filed suit against The Des Moines Register and pollster J. Ann Selzer over the publication of polling results just before the November election that showed Kamala Harris beating him by three percentage points in Iowa.
He ended up winning Iowa by 13 percentage points, and Trump’s lawyers described the inaccurate poll as “brazen election interference.” I can see no way that this ridiculous claim ever reaches the trial stage. But on the off chance it, does it will be fascinating to hear Trump’s lawyers explain why and how a poll showing him trailing narrowly influenced any voters — it’s just as reasonable to expect that a poll showing him narrowly behind would motivate his supporters to the polls and to expect that a poll showing Harris narrowly ahead would motivate her voters.
And there’s the issue of damages. Trump won the state and the election. What harm was done?
I hope that Gannett Co. Inc., owner of the Register, fights this absurd and ominous lawsuit rather than settle with Trump in order to stay on his good side, as ABC News did over the weekend in paying out $16 million because anchor George Stephanopoulos used an inaccurate term to describe the nature of the sexual assault a civil jury found Trump committed on writer E. Jean Carroll — see “ Shame on ABC for surrendering to Trump's flimsy lawsuit.”
About that capitulation: Some are suggesting that ABC settled because the discovery process was going to unearth unpleasant things about Stephanopolous. Others have suggests that Stephanopolous’ repeated use of the word “rape” to describe what the jury found was digital penetration was reckelessly false, though at the time used that term on the air, in March, a state statute signed into law in January in New York expanded “the definition of rape to include not only vaginal penetration, but also acts of oral, anal and vaginal contact.”
It would have been an interesting trial. And one that stood for the news media’s determination not to be cowed or bullied by the notoriously litigious Trump, who is harrumphing threats at seemingly every major figure and news organization that has slighted him.
Just Wednesday, he doubled down on threats to prosecute members of the House committee that investigated him for his role in attempting to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election, saying that Republican member “Liz Cheney could be in a lot of trouble based on the evidence … that ‘numerous federal laws were likely broken by Liz Cheney, and these violations should be investigated by the FBI,’” he wrote on social media.
In recent weeks, Mr. Trump has singled out Ms. Cheney in a similar fashion, saying outright that she and other leaders of the Jan. 6 committee should go to jail. He has also suggested, over the course of several months, that Gen. Mark A. Milley, his onetime chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, should be tried for treason, even executed.
Mr. Trump has called for Jack Smith, the special counsel who brought two criminal cases against him last year, to be “thrown out of the country.” And after he was arraigned on the first of Mr. Smith’s indictments, he said that, as president, he would appoint “a real special prosecutor” to “go after” President Biden and his family.
There can be no surrender to this kind of bullying. As soon as possible, Biden needs to grant anticipatory pardons to anyone Trump has been shaking his little fist at. And media moguls need to meet and agree to fight to the end every lawsuit Trump files. Sure it will cost a lot, but the price of giving up press freedom is far, far greater.
Last week’s winning quip
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow this changes everything.”
Here are this week’s nominees and the winners — plural! — of the Tuesday visual-jokes poll. Here is the direct link to the new poll.
Fix it!
WTTW-Ch. 11 reports, “In all, Chicago taxpayers have spent more than $73 million from January 2019 to August 2024 to resolve two dozen lawsuits filed by Chicagoans injured during police pursuits.”
Finding a better way to track vehicles that try to elude police at high speeds ought to be a top priority for law enforcement officials nationwide. Cameras. Helicopters. Drones. I don’t know. But we can’t let evildoers just drive off confident that the cops aren’t going to chase them, and we can’t chase them because if they smash into a person or a car, the city ends up liable for the injuries and damages.
WTTW-Ch. 11 reports the city budgets $82 million to cover the cost of police misconduct lawsuits, so if a recent $79.85 million jury award to the survivors of a child killed during a police chase is upheld, there will be all but nothing left for the inevitable other cases.
That’s So Brandon!
Updates on the misadventures of Chicago’s mayor
So the City Council passed a budget Monday with just over two weeks to spare before the Dec. 31 deadline, but the co-chairs of the Progressive Reform Caucus made statements harshly critical of their ally, Mayor Brandon Johnson. From the Sun-Times:
Ald. Maria Hadden, 49th: “Mr. Mayor, we have heard a lot about your progressive values throughout this process, and I don’t doubt them. But how we do things is just as important as what we do. And how you’ve led this process has left the City Council fractured, Chicagoans less trusting in government, and it’s left our city in an extremely vulnerable position … with the promise of attacks from a new presidential administration. We are not prepared, and the fault lies squarely with you and your administration. … This budget may have some progressive outcomes. But the process to get here was anything but progressive.”
Ald. Andre Vasquez, 40th: ”This budget process has left many Chicagoans, including many members of this Council, feeling a lack of confidence and a lack of trust in the city’s government. Chicago has a history of making financial decisions in the interest of short-term political expediency that lead to disastrous long-term consequences and this budget represents more of the same. … We cannot continue down this path that undermines the progressive movement, that undermines the ability to govern responsibly, and that further erodes the public’s confidence in government. Chicagoans don’t have any more patience for excuses, for hollow, evasive answers, and for obliviousness from their mayor.”
Ouch. With friends like those …
And there was this quote in the Tribune from Ald. Emma Mitts, 37th, who has been off the Johnson train since May when he yanked back his offer to make her chair of the City Council’s Housing Committee.
“Some of you ain’t never been in government. Don’t know nothing, can’t nobody tell you nothing. Running around here like you have all the answers. You don’t have all the answers!”
To clarify, Johnson had previous experience in government as a Cook County Commissioner before becoming mayor.
But still. The self-styled “collaborator-in-chief” is looking more and more feckless all the time. If his school board acts precipitously in the coming days to fire Chicago Public Schools CEO Pedro Martinez in order to force a speedy resolution to contract talks with Johnson’s allies at the Chicago Teachers Union before the partially elected school board is seated in mid-January, expect his poll numbers to sink further, if that’s even possible.
Land of Linkin’
I’ll be chatting with Joan Esposito on WCPT-AM 820 Thursday from 3-4 pm. Listen live here.
Stunning 4-minute video: Chicago Tribune’s photos of the year. You can also simply look at the photos here.
Pressure is ramping up on President Joe Biden to issue a pardon to former U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. Here is why I don’t like the idea.
Spot-on Tribune editorial: “Downtown Chicago paid too high a price for slowpoke, ill-conceived Kennedy Expressway construction,” though bicycle enthusiasts are sore about the claim that bike lanes along Elston Avenue slowed traffic along that alternate route.
Squaring up the news
This is a bonus supplement to the Land of Linkin’ from veteran radio, internet and newspaper journalist Charlie Meyerson. Each week, he offers a selection of intriguing links from his daily email news briefing Chicago Public Square:
■ “Apoplectic,” “humiliated”: That’s how a source describes ABC News anchor George Stephanopoulos’ reaction to the Disney-owned network’s settlement of Trump’s defamation lawsuit.
■ “A no-brainer in every sense.” — Jimmy Kimmel, among a chorus of late-night hosts weighing in on Time’s selection of Donald Trump as its Person of the Year.
■ The Daily Show’s Michael Kosta was struck by Time editor Sam Jacobs’ lack of enthusiasm while making the announcement: “That’s how I act when my sister gives me scented lotion for Christmas.”
■ “We won’t shut up” tops a list of 28 things Stop the Presses proprietor Mark Jacob says Americans of good conscience won’t do when Trump takes over Jan. 20.
■ Poynter’s Tom Jones: Trump’s pick to lead the Voice of America news agency is “bizarre.”
■ Seth Meyers on Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s unorthodox workout attire: “If you think that’s weird, wait until you hear every single other thing about him.”
■ Wonkette’s Evan Hurst mocks South Carolina Rep. Nancy Mace’s complaint about a Chicago man charged with misdemeanor assault: “She is threatening to sue media outlets that don’t report the true gravity of the murderous transgender handshake attack that left her in a full-body cast this week, completely disfigured for life, and also dead.”
■ For the first time in 15 years, Indiana’s imposed capital punishment on a man convicted of a 1997 quadruple homicide—an execution almost carried out in secret, under Indiana’s restrictive death penalty law, but the convict’s final requests included the presence of one reporter.
■ USA Today’s Rex Huppke, who’s “worked for two decades in Chicago, where hundreds die each year in shootings, most of them in the city’s poorer neighborhoods,” sees “an uncomfortable truth” in the disparity between reactions to the death of a health insurance CEO and those of Wisconsin school kids.
■ Reviewing some of the pardons President Biden doled out last week, Wonkette’s Marcie Jones finds “a list of sinners you’d meet on a tour of hell!”
■ A veteran bar association evaluator of judicial candidates is baffled by Injustice Watch’s revelation of charges that, as a solo law practitioner in the 1990s, an influential Cook County judge took advantage of his elderly clients: “How did we miss this?”
■ You almost didn’t make it, Charlie Brown. A University of Southern California professor expert in the Peanuts franchise explains how the classic “A Charlie Brown Christmas” barely made it to air in 1965.
■ Time salutes TV’s 20 best Christmas episodes since 1963.
You can (and should) subscribe to Chicago Public Square free here.
I would second this Chicago Public Square reader’s cranky observation, but …
Here is a portion of Tuesday’s Chicago Public Square newsletter:
“It’s not about quality or even popularity but about who has the time and energy to rally supporters/followers/customers/friends.” A Square reader has a problem with the Reader’s Best of Chicago poll—for which Square is up in two categories.
■ But, you know, it’s fun. It’s also good publicity for the winners—many of them small local businesses for whom rallying customers is part of the mission—and it can even help the losers (February link).
■ So take a second or three to vote, won’tcha?
I cannot second this opinion because, in truth, I wrote it in an email to Meyerson. I’ll leave it to others to second it. The Best of Chicago poll is clickbait bullshit, and its invitation to nominees to pay for ads on the ballot skews the results.
I get the editors’ impulse. Like every publication these days, the Reader needs eyeballs, and it needs revenue. But the nomination process seems random — the only awards worth winning are those judged by panels of people who have actually considered the field and can weigh the pros and cons of each finalist in an objective way. The fact that there are 325 separate categories underscores the absurdity of it all, but also perhaps the genius of it.
And I know that sounds cranky and like I simply resent that the Picayune Sentinel is not up for best local newsletter and “The Mincing Rascals” is not a finalist for best local podcast, so that has constrained me from slamming a feature that so many people do find to be fun. And as one who posts totally unscientific click polls all time, maybe I’m not in a position to criticize.
But, really, who is in a position to know which of the city’s scores of hair salons or chiropractors or Vietnamese restaurants is actually best?
Cheer Chat
A look back at the 26th annual Songs of Good Cheer winter holiday sing-along programs hosted by me and Mary Schmich at the Old Town School of Folk Music last weekend.
About the only thing that went wrong during the run of five shows in the packed, 450-seat Maurer Hall was when I somehow lost the grip on my fiddle during Friday’s sound check and sent it crashing to the floor, snapping the bridge.
Luckily ,my son Ben, the accomplished fiddler in the family, lives about eight blocks from the Old Town School, and he rushed over a replacement. I was able to install a new bridge the following morning.
And once again, for the 24th year in a row, illness did not strike anyone in the cast (in our second year, a cast member was suffering from kidney stones and had to drop out). Though two of us — me being one of them — had positive COVID-19 tests on Tuesday.
Other than that? We led 19 songs, two old-favorites medleys and a pair of seasonally themed fiddle tunes. We also came very close to selling out the first pressing of the new CD “Best of Songs of Good Cheer, 25 Years of Favorites.” It features many of the less familiar songs of the season that we’ve come to love, including Mary Schmich’s original composition, “Gonna Sing.”
Ever since she wrote it in 2005, we’ve been getting requests for a good, solid studio recording of the song we always do early in the show and that often leaves members of the audience wiping away sentimental tears.
You can stream specific songs or the whole album on Spotify, Amazon Music or Apple Music.
We joked during the show about making it to Songs of Good Cheer No. 37, which will be in 2035, the next time Hanukkah and Christmas coincide. But we’ll certainly do it, if the fates allow.
Mary Schmich: What Facebook is saying about ‘Songs of Good Cheer’
My former colleague Mary Schmich has collected a set of social media responses to the Songs of Good Cheer shows over the weekend. Here are a few:
Jeanne M. — We have attended since 2014. This year, our oldest child started her first year of college and was crushed that wasn’t able to join us. We promised to sing through the song book when she comes home. There is just something extra special about singing together with you and your friends.
Mark.A. — Our two boys (average age now: 30) used to come with us when they were little. Then they became too cool for SoGC and didn't come for years. Last year they returned with us and loved it. Same story this year, as they once again made the two-mile trek from their Uptown apartment, and they loved the show all the more.
John L. — My first time at Songs of Good Cheer and it was wonderful! The Old Town School of Folk Music is a Chicago jewel.
Kathy S. — I attended your first show and a total of 15 others. I will never tire of seeing your show. Thanks for the joy and your generosity!
Gail N. — We went last night and loved every moment of the show! It truly comes from your heart and soul.
Margaret S. — Well done! Awesome evening!
Kathy K. — Thank you all for the joy you shared!! Such a wonderful tradition !
Susan R. — My first SoGC was wonderful and much needed. Thanks!
Rives C. — The show this year was so uplifting, and I am loving the album.
Danielle M. — It was so much fun Mary, what a beautiful heartwarming evening. Joyeux Noël, à bientôt!
Karen R. — How beautiful you guys are. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Cathy H. — Attended this year for the first time, enjoyed the whole evening!
Cindy L. — It was a fantastic show! Thanks for the great performance!
Cynthia N. — Loved it! We, too , were new to the show and hope you keep doing it so we have a new tradition of attending!
Peggy B. — You made our holidays!!!
Reg G. — Always my favorite evening of the year.
Minced Words
Cate Plys, Marj Halperin and I joined host John Williams on this week’s episode of “The Mincing Rascals” podcast. We started with a discussion of drone mania, moved along to discussing the budget passed by the City Council and then to the threatening rhetoric of incoming president Donald Trump.
Subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Or bookmark this page. If you’re not a podcast listener, you can hear an edited version of the show at 8 p.m. most Saturday evenings on WGN-AM 720.
Read the background bios of some regular panelists here.
Quotables
A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately
You have enemies? Why, it is the story of every man who has done a great deed or created a new idea. It is the cloud which thunders around everything that shines. Fame must have enemies, as light must have gnats. Do not bother yourself about it; disdain. Keep your mind serene as you keep your life clear. — Victor Hugo
For The (Wall Street) Journal to look at the world of 2024 and conclude that the erosion of trust in government is due to Biden without ever once mentioning that Trump and his minions are the most prolific bilge spillers imaginable is to be completely without scruple. — Mona Charen in her Bulwark essay “The Decline and Fall of the Wall Street Journal”
CNN reports "8 incoming Cabinet picks (so far) & their spouses donated over $37 million combined from their personal accounts to aid Trump." Government of the billionaires, by the billionaires, for the billionaires. But tell me again how Democrats don't get the working class? — Janice Hough
(George) Stephanopoulos … is an emblem of the legacy media’s humbled state ahead of Trump’s second term. — Harry Lambert, Daily Beast
If Trump's lawsuit against the Des Moines Register for supposedly deliberately publishing phony polls has merit, would it be OK to sue Real Clear Politics for their “red wave” nonsense of 2022? — Judge Dibs
Since (the two-term limit on presidential terms in the U. S Constitution) doesn’t actually say “consecutive,” I don’t know, maybe we do it again in `28. Are you guys down for that? Trump `28? Come on, man! — Steve Bannon
Former Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass, who now publishes his own right-wing diatribes, is rewriting the story of the police murder of Black teenager Laquan McDonald in 2014. McDonald was shot to death by Officer Jason Van Dyke, who is described by Kass as a “frightened white Chicago cop.” Fact check: Van Dyke didn’t have much time to become “frightened.” He shot McDonald about 6 seconds after exiting his police car, and McDonald was walking away from police. Van Dyke was convicted of 2nd-degree murder. John Kass’ attempt to downplay the crime is shameful but typical for him. — Mark Jacob
Quips
In Tuesday’s paid-subscriber editions, I present my favorite tweets that rely on visual humor. Subscribers vote for their favorite, and I post the winner here every Thursday. This week we had a tie vote!
Here are the five finalists.
The new nominees for Quip of the Week:
[Me watching football on TV] Oh man this reminds me of high school Her: you played football in high school? Me: no, I watched TV. — @simoncholland
A friend's old roommate handmade guitars from Canadian maple with hand cut mother of pearl inlays. He showed me several works in progress and how many hours it took for each step. Truly a labor of love. I learned that day that if you follow your passion, you can bore anyone. — @SuitSentient
After I give advice, I always end my sentence with “I don't know though,” so you can never say I ruined your life. — unknown
I wish I loved anything as much as academics love saying "rubric." — @Quartzjixler
Text a coworker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank. — @ModeledBehavior
I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to. — @dankcharnley
Today I learned that you’re supposed to pee on a jellyfish sting and not a jelly stain. So my apologies to the lady at Dunkin this morning. I was only trying to help. — @mauriceb3rd
I don't get mad, I get even. Actually, on second thought, I guess I do get rather mad. — @camerobradford
Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people. — @gullyvuhr
If you're not sure how to reply in a conversation, just ask "In what context?" to buy time and let the person rattle on for another half hour. — @VerbsRProudest
Vote here and check the current results in the poll.
For instructions and guidelines regarding the poll, click here.
Why the new name for this feature? See “I’m rebranding ‘Tweet of the Week’ in a gesture of contempt for Elon Musk.”
Good Sports
Predictions for the first round of the college football playoffs:
(7) Notre Dame over (10) Indiana 7 p.m. Friday on ABC/ESPN
(11) SMU over (6) Penn State 11 a.m. Saturday on TNT
(8) Ohio State over (9) Tennessee 7 p.m. Saturday on ABC/ESPN
(5) Texas over (12) Clemson. 3 p.m. on TNT
SMU is the only underdog I’m picking here. Penn State is favored by 8 1/2 points at this writing.
I have picked up some irresponsible chatter that, in subsequent years, the teams should be reseeded after the first round in order to continue to favor the higher seeds, as is done in the NFL. But part of the fun of these playoffs is filling out one’s bracket.
“Rate Field”?
I never really understood the name “Guaranteed Rate” for the residential mortgage company that sponsors the White Sox home stadium for a reported $2 million per season. All fixed mortgages have specific rates agreed to at signing, so “Guaranteed Rate” strikes me as tautological, like “Guaranteed Edible” as the name for a restaurant.
“Guaranteed Lowest Rate” would be a compelling name, I suppose. But since July, the company has gone by simply “Rate” — which is like calling a restaurant “Food” — and on Tuesday announced that the name of the stadium will now be “Rate Field.”
We’ll get used to it, I guess, though I reiterate my call for media outlets to stop using corporate names unless they, too, are compensated. “Sox Park” is more descriptive anyway.
Tune of the Week
For absolutely no good reason, my mind recently flashed back 18 years to the release of British pop star Lily Allen’s bubbly, bouncy song of revenge, “Smile.” In it, she delights at the suffering of an ex-boyfriend who betrays her:
At first, when I see you cry Yeah, it makes me smile Yeah, it makes me smile At worst, I feel bad for a while But then I just smile I go ahead and smile
The music video, seen above, shows some brutal acts of revenge not alluded to in the song, including a beating-for-hire, apartment burglary and a doctored beverage.
Allen, now 39, performed “Smile” and the similarly upbeat yet dark “LDN” on “Saturday Night Live” in early 2007.
She has since had trouble with drug addiction and her mental health, but reportedly has plans to soon release her first album since 2018. She created a bit of a stir with her “I masturbate. Do you?” promotional ad campaign for a sex toy she endorses.
I’ve been opening up Tune of the Week nominations in an effort to bring some newer sounds to the mix. I’m asking readers to use the comments area for paid subscribers or to email me to leave nominations (post-2000 releases, please!) along with YouTube links and at least a few sentences explaining why the nominated song is meaningful or delightful to you.
Info
Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise. Browse and search back issues here.
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Thanks for reading!
in an otherwise average week of QotWs [and average incl's a bunch of funnies], i totally busted a gut on the jellyfish quip 😆🤣
Cubs - Wrigley Field
Sox - Comiskey Park
So it was, so it shall be.