Unpredictable? Yes, but that won't stop us from trying!

And a list of the top 40 tweets and 9 don't-miss podcasts of 2023

12-28-2023 (issue No. 121)

Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise.

This week:

• Last week’s winning tweet

• How’d we do? — A review of our predictions for 2023

• The year in preview — Our best guesses at the known unknowns of 2024

• Land of Linkin’ — Where I tell readers where to go

• Squaring up the news — Where Charlie Meyerson tells readers where to go

• Johanna’s most memorable podcasts of 2023

• The top 40 tweets of 2023

• Your way is the Skyway — Results of my reader poll on the most expensive stretch of road per mile in the United States

• Re:Tweets — The winning visual tweet and this week’s contest finalists

• Tune of the Week — “This Will Be Our Year” by the Zombies

“The Mincing Rascals” podcast is in reruns this week. Mary Schmich is on break.

Last week’s winning tweet

"This is a nice manger and stable you've got here. It'd be a shame if anything happened to it." … The Three Wiseguys — @WilliamAder

Here are this week’s nominees and the winner of the Tuesday visual-tweets poll. Here is the direct link to the new poll. See also the Top 40 tweets of 2023.

Saying goodbye to an unpredictable 2023

A year ago at this time, per my long-standing tradition, I asked readers to fill out a survey soliciting their best guesses as to what the news would bring in 2023.

I got 11 right out of 27. But the consensus of readers got 18 right out of 27.

Readers and I correctly guessed that …

• Chicago police Superintendent David Brown would not keep his job. (He stepped down in March).

• There would not be a vacancy on the U.S. Supreme Court.

• The U.S. Supreme Court would not uphold affirmative action in college admissions in its ruling in Students for Fair Admissions v. Harvard College & UNC.

• The inflation rate, then roughly 7%, would be under 4% at the end of 2023 (it’s at about 3.1% now).

• Then-Republican House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy would be elected House speaker.

• Republican U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida would not be indicted on sex crime-related charges.

• The annual number of deaths from COVID-19 in the United States would fall from the approximately 270,000 in 2022. (So far the number of U.S. deaths from COVID-19 in 2023 is about 64,000.)

• The Chicago Sky would not make it to the WNBA Finals.

Readers and I were wrong when we guessed that …

• Chuy Garcia would win the race for Chicago mayor and that Lori Lightfoot would be the runner-up. (Brandon Johnson, the ultimate winner over runner-up Paul Vallas, got just 1% in the survey.)

• The Bally's casino project would break ground on the site of the old Tribune printing plant.

• Former 14th Ward Ald. Ed Burke’s legal status would still be pending by the end of the year. (He’s now a convicted felon.)

• Donald Trump would not be leading presidential-candidate preference polls of Republican voters at the end of 2023. (He’s way out in front).

• The price of bitcoin, then hovering around $17,000, would be below $10,000 by the end of the year. (It’s now more than $43,000.)

• Hunter Biden would not be indicted on any criminal charges. Hunter Biden?

I was right and readers were wrong in guessing that …

• There would be significantly fewer than the roughly 700 homicides we saw in Chicago in 2022. (It’s going to be around 600.

• Neither the Tribune nor the Sun-Times would stop offering print editions on certain days.

• The Cubs would have a better record in 2023 than the White Sox. (The Cubs were 83-79; the White Sox an appalling 61-101.)

Readers were right and I was wrong in guessing that …

• The Bears would not finalize an agreement to move to Arlington Heights.

• Donald Trump would be criminally indicted.

• President Joe Biden would run for reelection.

• JB Pritzker would not be openly campaigning for president at the end of the year.

• Elon Musk would not sell Twitter.

• Vladimir Putin would remain president of Russia.

• Russia and Ukraine would not sign a peace treaty.

• Georgia would win the college football championship (I voted with my heart for Michigan).

• Netflix would not merge with another significant streaming service.

• Tiger Woods would make the cut in any of golf's four major tournaments. (He made the cut at the Masters but withdrew due to injury.)

There were additionally two questions that I didn’t include in the scoring.

NASCAR officials expect 100,000 people to attend the July 1-2 auto race around Grant Park and the Museum Campus. How many people will actually attend?

I guessed under 70,000, which is in line with the report that there were only 47,405 “unique visitors” to the event, though the official overall weekend attendance figure was about 79,000, in line with the readers’ guess that it would be more than 70,000. I say you can read this result either way.

The national average price of a gallon of regular gas was $3.10 at the end of the year. Will it be higher or lower in 12 months?

I predicted it would be higher. Readers predicted it would be lower. It’s $3.13, which is too close to $3.10 to say I was right or readers were wrong.

The year in preview: The known unknowns of 2024

Peering through our cracked and cloudy crystal balls, here are the questions I’m asking in the Predict the News of 2024 survey:

• Will former Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan be convicted in his upcoming trial?

• Will just-convicted former 14th Ward Ald. Ed Burke spend a day in prison in 2024?

• Will ground break on the Bally’s casino at the River North site of the Tribune printing plant?

• Will the referendum seeking to increase the real estate transfer tax on Chicago properties worth more than $1 million pass?

• Who will be the next Cook County state’s attorney? Eileen O'Neill Burke, Clayton Harris III or Bob Fioretti?

• Chicago City Treasurer and former state Rep. Melissa Conyears-Ervin is running to try to unseat veteran U.S. Rep. Danny Davis in Chicago’s 7th U.S. Congressional District. Will she win?

• Will any of the area’s major daily papers— the Tribune, Sun-Times, Daily Herald or Crain’s Chicago Business — stop offering print editions on certain days of the week?

• Former Republican gubernatorial candidate and ardent Trumper Darren Bailey is challenging five-term incumbent downstate Republican U.S. Rep. Mike Bost in a primary. Who will win?

• Will the White Sox announce a move to Nashville or a suburban location?

• Will the Bears announce a move to Arlington Heights or other suburban location?

• Will Joe Biden and Donald Trump be the major party candidates for president?

• Which party will win the White House in November?

• Who will be the Republican vice presidential nominee? Multiple choices include Nikki Haley, Kristi Noem, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Elise Stefanik, Kari Lake, Vivek Ramaswamy, Tim Scott, Mike Pompeo and Byron Donalds.

• Will third-party or independent candidates capture more than 3% of the 2020 presidential vote? (It was nearly 2% in 2020 and nearly 6% in 2016.)

• Will Elon Musk still own Twitter at the end of the year?

• Will 2024 be the hottest year on record, breaking the record just set by 2023?

• Will Hunter Biden be convicted of or plead guilty to a crime and be facing prison in 2024?

• Will the Republican House of Representatives impeach President Joe Biden?

• Will the Dow Jones Industrial Average, now at about 37,500, break 40,000 any time in 2024?

• Will the average national price of a gallon of gas be lower than $3 in the last week of 2024?

• Which political party will control the U.S. House of Representatives after the 2024 elections?

• Which political party will control the U.S. Senate after the 2024 election?

• Will former President Trump be convicted of one or more felonies in 2024?

• Will Russia and Ukraine sign a peace treaty?

• Will China attempt to annex Taiwan?

• Will Benjamin Netanyahu be the prime minister of Israel at year’s end?

• Will Vladimir Putin be Russia’s resident at year’s end?

• Will Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce still be an item?

• Will the Bears move on from Justin Fields and draft a quarterback?

• Which team will win more games, the Cubs or the White Sox?

• Which team will win the college football championship in January?

• Will Jim Harbaugh be Michigan’s head football coach when the 2024 season begins?

• Will the Bears replace Matt Eberflus with a new head coach?

• Will the free-spending Los Angeles Dodgers win the World Series?

• Will Northwestern’s resurgent football program win seven or more games next season?

• Will Simone Biles win a gold medal in the Summer Olympics?

Now, yes, there are other questions looming out there: Will Chicago meet challenge posed by busloads of asylum-seeking migrants arriving every week? Will Mayor Brandon Johnson develop into an effective mayor? Will the Democratic convention in Chicago be a certain kind of show? Will the issue of abortion or the issue of immigration be decisive in the 2024 elections? But many such questions don’t have measurable answers, so we’ll simply have to ponder them.

Fill out the survey here before midnight on Sunday! Come back next Thursday for a review of the results plus my predictions, worthless though they seem to be.

Land of Linkin’

• “How Much is a Drop in the Bucket?” “It is a term meaning a tiny fraction of the total. But it doesn't necessarily have to be an unknown tiny fraction. After all, I've got a bucket. Let's pin this down.”

• "Danielle" is an eerie, 4:20 video that uses nearly seamless photo animation tricks to show a little girl morphing gradually into an elderly woman:

Christopher Jobson explained how it was done.

• A list of “11 Things You No Longer See on Playgrounds” includes monkey bars, still rings and merry-go-rounds.

• A list of “11 Nouns That Only Have a Plural Form” includes scissors, clothes, shenanigans and suds.

• An old survey listed “the top 10 books people claim to have read but haven't.” They are:

1. “1984,” by George Orwell (26%)

2. “War and Peace,” by Leo Tolstoy (19%)

3. “Great Expectations,” by Charles Dickens (18%)

4. “The Catcher in the Rye,” by JD Salinger (15%)

5. “A Passage to India,” by EM Forster (12%)

6. “Lord of the Rings,” by JRR Tolkien (11%)

7. “To Kill A Mockingbird,” by Harper Lee (10%)

8. “Crime and Punishment,” by Fyodor Dostoevsky (8%)

9. “Pride and Prejudice,” by Jane Austen (8%)

10. “Jane Eyre,” by Charlotte Bronte (5%)

I loved four of these books (4,7, 9 & 10) ,soldiered through three of them (1,3 & 8), didn't care much for one of them (5), have no interest in one of them (6) and tell myself I must, must, must get around to one of them (2).

• “20 Things That Happened for the First Time in 2023” in The New York Times includes “Cells from two male mice produce live offspring,” “A man with paralysis walks again using his thoughts” and “A.I. helps decipher text from an ancient Roman scroll.”

• Ali Kelley at McSweeney’s: “We’ve Remodeled Our Bathroom, So Now You Have to Take a Dump Behind a Sliding Barn Door.”

• “20 of the Most Commonly Mispronounced Brand Names” in Mental Floss includes Nutella (“New-tella”) and Ikea (“ee-keh-yah”)

Squaring up the news

This is a bonus supplement to the Land of Linkin’ from veteran radio, internet and newspaper journalist Charlie Meyerson. Each week, he offers a selection of intriguing links from his daily email news briefing Chicago Public Square:

■ The Illinois Secretary of State’s office is out with its annual list of rejected vanity license plate requests.

■ PolitiFact bestows its Lie of the Year honor on Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

■ A Tribune editorial sheds no tears for a retiring Indiana arms dealer whose shoddy practices unleashed hundreds of guns on Chicago: “Rest in infamy.”

■ The Conversation’s quizmaster, past “Jeopardy” Tournament of Champions winner Fritz Holznagel, files a super-sized year-end news quiz.

■ Author and tech rabble-rouser Cory Doctorow is *very* excited about all the creative work falling into the public domain as of Jan. 1—including a Marx Brothers classic.

And although Meyerson’s taking this week off, he’s continued to spotlight timely news and commentary on the Square Facebook page, including these: 

■ Pro-Israel Political Update columnist Steve Sheffey: Israel’s prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his government are both “abominations. But a country does not lose its right to defend itself … and its people do not lose their right to live in safety and security because its government is contemptible–if it did, woe to the country governed by Donald Trump.”

■ Mike Godwin, the author and attorney who coined Godwin’s law—“As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one”—says you’re good to go on comparisons of Hitler to Donald Trump.

You can (and should) subscribe to Chicago Public Square free here.

Nine memorable podcasts from 2023

Co-founder of the Third Coast International Audio Festival, podcast and public radio news editor and occasional Picayune Sentinel podcast columnist Johanna Zorn returns with a year-end wrap-up:

Disclaimer: This is not a list of the best podcasts of 2023. I didn’t listen to enough non-narrative podcast series — my favorite genre — to make a truly comprehensive list. For starters, there were fewer produced (podcast companies and public radio made big cutbacks this year), and still fewer that captured my interest amid the ever-popular true crime offerings and celebrity gabfests. 

Still, there were a number of podcasts that I really enjoyed in the past year, and those included a true crime series and a celebrity-led interview show. Like all of the podcasts below, I gobbled them up, one episode after the other. And they took me deeply into worlds of unforgettable people, places, and oftentimes tough reality, but also wonder. I hope you’ll enjoy them too:

“The 13th Step” (New Hampshire Public Radio)

A seven-part deep dive into accusations of sexual harassment and assault by the founder of New Hampshire’s largest addiction treatment network. The series features excellent reporting by NHPR’s Lauren Chooljian and the NHPR news team, who try to understand why a field dedicated to treatment causes so much harm. This is a phenomenon people in the recovery world call “the 13th step.” To add another layer of intrigue, first Chooljian’s parent’s house, then her own, become the targets of vandalism as a likely result of her reporting. She bravely reports on this as well, and the eventual arrests of the alleged perpetrators.

“You Didn’t See Nothin’” (USG Audio and Invisible Institute)

“You Didn’t See Nothin’” follows formerly incarcerated journalist Yohance Lacour as he revisits a 1997 hate crime on the South Side of Chicago — the beating of Lenard Clark into a coma by a gang of older white teens. Host Lacour re-examines the crime in great detail, while also taking personal stock of how the ripple effects of that incident have shaped his own life. It is a rare perfect combination of memoir and investigation, and in the end presents a fresh perspective and even corrects the historical record of this case 25 years later.

“Sold A Story: How Teaching Kids to Read Went So Wrong” (American Public Media)

Generations ago, kids learned how to read using phonics, repeatedly sounding out words and memorizing the sounds of tricky letter combinations. But then a new idea came along to teach whole reading, where young students take hints from pictures and context. This kind of a gestalt approach worked for some, but as Emily Hanford, lead investigative reporter, and her team at APM discovered, it also left many behind. Handford takes us along as we learn what went wrong, and how both money and politics have played a role. And in a surprise twist, this time it’s the Republicans who are saying follow the science. Phonics works. Hanford’s investigation is so well presented here, that “Sold a Story” is having an extraordinary amount of impact around the country, where entire school systems have returned to phonics. 

“Wiser than Me, with Julia Louis-Dreyfus” (Lemonada)

Comic actor Julia Louis-Dreyfus is not a professional interviewer, and that’s part of the charm of this series of interviews with older women she admires. From the get-go, I loved the concept, Louis-Dreyfus at 62, at the beginning of her “third age,” learning from women with decades of hard-won wisdom. And the guest list is fantastic: Carol Burnett, Amy Tan, Isabel Allende, Ruth Reichl and more. The conversations are informal, and sometimes silly (in a good way), and I’d like to think that you don’t need to be an older woman to learn a thing or two while being happily diverted. 

“Magnificent Jerk “ (Apple Original, Pineapple Street Studios)

This is a first-person story from journalist Maya Lin Sugarman, who discovers a box of forgotten screenplays that sets her on a journey to uncover the truth about their author, her late uncle, Galen. It was fascinating to follow along as Sugarman delved into his past as the family outcast. He was a leader of a Chinese gang, and he went to jail. But later, he also reached a certain amount of fame as an actor who directors saw as an authentic bad guy. And whose screenplay about his own life was greenlit by Hollywood only to be changed so egregiously that it starred Rob Lowe and is about the arms trade in Slovakia. Sugarman gets to the bottom of that too, in this captivating look behind the Hollywood curtain. 

“Slow Burn: Becoming Justice Thomas” (Slate)

In its eighth season, “Slow Burn” takes a revealing look at Clarence Thomas, his path from youthful radical to conservative icon, and his ascendancy to the U.S. Supreme Court. Confirmed in 1991, he’s now by 14 years the longest-serving justice on the court. But he almost wasn’t, as we hear through archival tape — always one of the highlights of a “Slow Burn” series — and a rich variety of interviews. Host Joel Anderson treats us to quite a surprise by showing up at Thomas’ mother’s house and landing a sweet interview with her. If you’re of a certain age, you may think you know the story of Thomas’ confirmation hearings, but I can promise you after hearing this series, that you don’t. 

“The Unmarked Graveyard: Stories From Hart Island” (Radio Diaries, Radiotopia)

When people in New York City die without family, friends or money to see to their burials, they are often laid to rest at Hart Island in the Bronx, America’s largest public cemetery. In death, they become anonymous, as the island has no headstones or plaques, just numbered markers. In this series, we meet seven people buried on Hart Island, and to tell their stories the producers of Radio Diaries had to unravel a series of complicated little mysteries. At the end of each trail, they discover a person, often with challenges but also joys, and sometimes a community that has come to care for them. I found it inspiring. 

“Ghost Story” (Wondery and Pineapple Street) 

I’m only an occasional fan of true crime, and I hardly ever enjoy a ghost story, but here wrapped up together into a true crime-ghost story, I was won over. It helps that this is a personal story, by Tristan Redman who dares to get into very sensitive territory when he begins looking into who murdered his wife’s great-grandmother Naomi Dancy. Was it her jealous brother, as all have accepted for years, or her husband John Dancy, a beloved ancestor? And the ghost part? Redman grew up next door to where Naomi was killed, and he, and, as he discovers, all the people who lived in his home since, have been visited by apparitions. Redman is a journalist who does a terrific job of sleuthing here, uncovering many tantalizing backstories over the course of the seven episodes. 

Audio Flux (Julie Shapiro, John DeLore)

Not a podcast, but I must include sweet bites of audio goodness from my co-founder of the Third Coast International Audio Festival Julie Shapiro and her “co-capacitor” the talented John DeLore. A continuation of Shapriro’s brilliant idea of the Third Coast ShortDocs, “Audio Flux” invites audio-makers to create a three-minute audio piece inspired by a set of prompts and adhering to a set of rules. The debut set of six “Audio Flux “stories on the theme of “letting go,” all produced by people who lost their podcast jobs over the past year, are a lovely listen. 

The top 40 tweets of 2023

These are my favorites culled from the list of 10 weekly finalists

1. I’m so old I remember when New Year’s came we sang “Lang Syne.” — @GianDoh

2. If you believe me when I exclaim, “We really should get together soon!” that’s on you. — @nayele18maybe

3. Mobster: Take Jack up the hill and make it look like an accident. Jill: You got it, boss. — @prufrockluvsong

4. Therapist: Anyways — Me: “Anyways” isn't a word. You mean “anyway.” Therapist: ANYWAY, we were talking about your difficulty making friends. — various

5. Religious folk sometimes ask atheists whose name they call out during sex, as if they've never even heard of Arthur C. Clarke. — @wildethingy

6. A lot of people sarcastically call me Einstein. Whoever that is. — @SamSkoronski

7. Whether you’re heating your apartment or chaining up a hostage, you can’t beat a radiator. — @camerobradford

8. Social media has shown us why there are directions on shampoo. — @Social_Mime

9. I asked a dog, “Who’s a good boy??” and he got so excited. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s me. I am the good boy. — @TheAndrewNadeau

10. Sometimes I have to remind myself to get off the internet, go outside and judge people in person. — @Tbone7219

11. And there I was, at 21, broken that I'd never hear my sister laugh again. I held her limp hand, my eyes playing cruel tricks as I swore I saw her breathe. In that moment, all I could think about was the lava cake we'd bake together. For this recipe, you'll need a double boiler… — @elle91

12. In today’s episode of “How strong is your marriage?”we take a trip to Home Depot to pick out a shade of white. — @daddygofish

13. “Hey mommy look, a bone! Just like we have in our bodies.” …. my 5-year-old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots. — @oneawkwardmom

14. If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn't get scratched, it's time to schedule your colonoscopy. — @benboven1

15. Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. — @AbbyHasIssues

16. Years ago, I worked for a company that sold sandwiches in airports. I once got a complaint email that someone’s chicken cordon bleu sandwich was missing the chicken. I replied that “cordon bleu” was French for “not there”, and I haven’t felt that level of job satisfaction since. — @UncleDuke1969

17. Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you're thinking: "It's psychic, you idiot." — @jtothet

18. Me: *cocks gun* I SAID DRINK. Horse: OK, OK, just be cool man. — @UncleDuke1969

19. Just to expound a bit ladies, mansplaining is a portmanteau of man and explaining. — @Shade510

20. (At grocery store) Hi little green pepper! I'm taking you home with me! Would you prefer a slow death in the fridge or would you rather go straight into the compost? — @BrickMahoney

21. My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did). — @MindyFurano

22. That’s exactly what someone who DID start the fire would say. — @benedictsred

23. At the grocery store some old lady seemed like she was hitting on me. Turns out we went to school together. — @fozzie4prez

24. Why do they call it "delivering" a baby? If I have to drive to the hospital and then take the baby home, it’s not delivery, it’s baby takeout. — @Writepop

25. It's been 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress. I'm going there in person tomorrow to see what's really going on. — @_CakeBawse

26. "Watery" is never a positive description, even when you're describing water. — @AnneHatfieldVO

27. Most midlife crises are lifelong crises that you finally have time for. — @MooseAllain

28. Once you hit a certain age, life is just a delicate balance of trying to stay awake and trying to fall asleep while slowly getting worse at both — unknown

29. In an infinite universe, over an infinite period of time, it's still unlikely hammer pants will come back into fashion. — @wildethingy

30. Our friends have canceled our dinner plans three times in a row. I'm starting to think they really don’t like dinner. — @Tbone7219

31. 90% of being a parent is pretending to be impressed by things that are really not that impressive. — @itssherifield

32. Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it. — @thedad

33. If anyone wants to pop over and help me figure out why my house is so nippy, my door is always open. — @whoelsebutalf

34. One thing Americans got right is the English language. It literally just makes the most sense. I can't even understand other languages at all. — @furby_hancock

35. I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity. — @MumOfTw0

36. I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?” — @RodLacroix

37. On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system? — @GlennyRodge

38. Me: it's not about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up. Cop: That's not how field sobriety tests work. — various sources

39. I just told my boss that "STFU" stands for "Sincere Thanks For Understanding" and it's really important that none of you tell him otherwise — @MelvinofYork

40. Best way to have the "Santa talk" with your kids is to gradually ease into it. First, tell them Santa is very sick. Then the next year, he died. Then when you tell them he was never real, it will come as a relief. — @oldfriend99

See the complete list of the top tweets of the years 2014 to 2023.

The writer who appeared most often on the list of finalists and earned the coveted title of Funniest Person on Twitter 2023 was also the 2019 winner, a Glasgow, Scotland, resident who goes by @Wildethingy but otherwise prefers to remain anonymous Two of his offerings are in the list above.

@Wildethingy avatar

Previous winners of the funniest person on Twitter (and, yes, I’m a Never Xer):

• 2021 @RickAaron

• 2020 @WilliamAder

• 2019 @wildethingy

• 2018 @TheAndrewNadeau

• 2017 @AmishPornStar1

• 2016 @SamGrittner

• 2015 @Home_Halfway (no longer on Twitter)

• 2014 @Longwall26

Your way is the Skyway

In light of the increase in the toll for the Chicago Skyway to $7.20 for a passenger car, I posted a two-question survey:

1 . When driving from the Chicago area into Michigan or Central Indiana, which route do you usually drive?

59% of 260 respondents said they take the Skyway over the free but five miles longer route that follows Interstate 94. In 2017, an identical survey of 670 respondents found 54% taking the Skyway.

2 .How much time would it have to save you to choose the Skyway over the freeway? (2017 result in parenthesis)

• I don't even care if the freeway is slightly faster. The Skyway is a better experience and worth the money — 33% (32%)

• At least half an hour— 19% (14%)

• At least 20 minutes — 18% (19%)

• I don't care how much longer the freeway takes, The Man isn't ever going to get my money! — 15% (13%)

• At least 10 minutes — 11% (15%)

• At least 5 minutes — 3% (6%)

I know click surveys aren’t accurate, but the consistency of these results is impressive to me.

One part of the question I didn’t adequately note is that, because the vast majority of those cutting the corner into Indiana and Michigan also take the Indiana Toll Road to the Lake Station exit, the total cost of the shorter route is going to be $13 each way.

Previously: “Skyway robbery: Auto toll will jump another 9% next month” and “My way or the Skyway.”

Re: Tweets

In Tuesday’s paid-subscriber editions, I present my favorite tweets that rely on visual humor. Subscribers vote for their favorite, and I post the winner here every Thursday:

The new nominees for Tweet of the Week:

• At this point I’m more like New Year’s Rockin’ Chair. — @RickAaron

• It’s not fair that midnight gets later every year. — @TheCatWhisprer

• No new year’s resolutions for me. It is the circumstances’ turn to improve. — @sarahclazarus

•  Stop saying “rizz.” I’m still trying to figure out what “stan” means. — @Lazor2828

• There should be an advanced version of “Blue’s Clues” with more complicated clues and darker storylines. — @IraqWarLiker

• Nancy Drew and the Mystery of How to Turn This Hotel Shower On. — @difficultpatty

• Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a gaslight. — @ddsmidt

• Laundry: Washing = 45 minutes. Drying = 60 minutes. Folding = 7 to 10 business days. — @dougboneparth

• Harry Styles sounds like a made-up name that Big Foot would use to sneak into a fashion show. — @HaliPhacks

• “God help us! It’s Stephen!” [alternate universe where Godzilla is named Stephen]. — @Fred_Delicious

Vote here and check the current results in the poll.

Usage note: To me, “tweet” has become a generic term for a short post on social media.

For instructions and guidelines regarding the poll, click here.

Tune of the Week

I almost chose Pink’s exuberant “Raise Your Glass” for a tune to usher in 2024, but settled on the more reflective yet still catchy “This Will Be Our Year.”

I won't forget
The way you held me up when I was down
And I won't forget the way you said,
"Darling I love you."
You gave me faith to go on
Now we're there and we've only just begun
This will be our year
Took a long time to come

From American Songwriter’s “Behind the Songs”:

“This Will Be Our Year” revels in open-hearted positivity, with (bandmember Rod) Argent’s sprightly piano serving as the driving musical force. But that positivity means more because of how the song hints at darker times without dwelling on them for very long. It feels like the couple at the heart of the song have earned this happiness. …

More than most other songs, “This Will Be Our Year” leans heavily on the strength of its refrain. It’s one thing to say, “This will be our year.” It’s the second part of the line that gives the first so much weight: “took a long time to come.” Is it any wonder that this song has become a favorite, not just for people getting set to celebrate a new year, but also for those getting set to embark upon a new life as a married couple?

In fact, (band member and songwriter Chris) White told People in 2017 about how the song continues to be a wedding staple. “I’ve actually sung it at my son’s wedding, and at my wife’s sister’s wedding as they walked down the aisle,” White said. “We met Graham Nash at the Hall of Fame, and he said his girlfriend wants ‘This Will Be Our Year’ played at his wedding—and not one of his songs! He was lovely about that.”

The Zombies, a British group, broke up in 1967, just before this song, one of their lesser-known cuts, was released. It’s No. 5 on one list of the “36 Best New Year's Eve Songs of All Time.” The band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2019.

Hope this will be your year.

Consult the complete Tune of the Week archive!

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