Zorn: Bonus WordWheel ticklers

& correspondence with readers

To read this issue in your browser, click on the headline above.

Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise.

Tuesdays at 11:30 a.m. I talk with WGN-AM 720 host John Williams about what’s making news and likely to be grist for the PS mill. The WGN listen-live link is here.

Another double-answer WordWheel and a devilishly difficult variation

Last week’s feature on the daily WordWheel puzzle that appears in the Tribune offered a pair of rare “double-up” puzzles, each with two of valid solutions.

New Zealand-based puzzlemaker Doug Hendry sent along yet another one:

He also sent along a puzzle that I found much harder that involved discovering a nine letter word:

Solutions are here.

Notes and comments from readers — lightly edited — along with my responses

Tim talk

Many readers wanted to talk about Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris’ choice of Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate. Here are few of the comments/letters:

Bob E. — With the selection of Walz I believe there's little or no chance of Harris reaching voters in the middle of the political spectrum. Harris ran far to the left of Joe Biden in 2020, and she's going to have a hard time shedding that baggage in 2024. Two progressives on the ticket might not shift centrists to vote for Donald Trump, but it will cause many to vote third-party, or just not vote for a POTUS.

Steven K. — I fear Democrats are making the mistake of enthusiastically throwing the full weight of their support behind a candidate who is wildly adored in the faculty lounge but considerably less adored on the factory floor. It’s too bad, because the Democrats could be running away with the election right now (and I am aware that the media are largely reporting as if Harris is running away with it. Memo: She’s not), but they’ve opted to live dangerously. A Gretchen Whitmer, Mark Kelly or Tulsi Gabbard candidacy would likely have assured a Democratic landslide in November, but alas, we must pin our hopes on a failed border czar.

Zorn — I did a spit take at “Tulsi Gabbard.” She is nutty apostate. And no, Harris wasn’t the “border czar” despite what some reporters said or wrote as shorthand for her limited assignment in working with the origin countries of many migrants. But keep repeating those talking points!

Meanwhile, you’re right that Harris isn’t running away with it by any means. Here is the latest RealClearPolitics polling report from the swing states:

David Leitschuh — Walz is vulnerable because he refused to call in the Minnesota National Guard for three days while Minneapolis was burning and in control of the rioters. His administration was also found to be terribly negligent in lack of oversight in the massive Feeding our Future scandal where a group of Somalis organized to submit bogus lists of children being fed and defrauded literally hundreds of millions in funds intended for children in need. So there are indeed vulnerabilities on Walz with some real meat on the bone.

Funny, but the AP reported last week that “Trump praised Minnesota Gov. Walz in 2020 for response to unrest over Floyd’s murder.”

Deni —I hoped like crazy Harris would pick Walz. I think he's perfect, not because of the dad-joke folkiness (though it is charming and disarming) but because he is really good at talking about progressive ideas and how they are good for all Americans, even those who live in red states and vote for Trump.

Joy Isbell — I've been hearing about Tim Walz for several years from my brother and sister-in-law in Duluth. They think he walks on water. They actually were hoping he wouldn't be picked for Harris’ running mate because they don't want to lose him as governor. Since then I've heard the same thing from a niece in Minneapolis.

Marc Martinez —Harris is terrible at responding to questions. She looks confused, provides word salad and provides lame dodges even in softball interviews. The party may be depending on Walz to carry the load, since he seems to be very good, at least in the friendly forums. But he has also shown a testy side and made some dismissive comments about non-progressives. We will see if he gets any tough questions or in-depth interviews.

Zorn— Yeah, it’s time for those tough interviews. They can’t run out the clock on scrutiny.

How do we reform the Supreme Court when the U.S. Senate still needs to OK a nominee?

Rick Weiland — You backed President Joe Biden’s idea for staggered 18-year terms for U.S. Supreme Court justices, meaning that presidents would appoint a new justice every two years. But what I don’t understand about this plan (which has no chance of coming to pass) is what is supposed to happen to a nominee when the Senate is controlled by the party opposed to the president?

Zorn— A few years ago I wouldn’t have overruled your objection. Court appointees were sometimes rejected, but the process seemed to work relatively smoothly and fairly. But ever since the unconscionable strategic hold that the Republicans put on Merrick Garland — Barack Obama’s nomination to replace Justice Antonin Scalia after Scalia’s death early in February of 2016, a presidential election year — in order to stall for a Republican president to take office, I’m anticipating many more attempts at obstructing new nominees. Two years? The Senate can stall things for two years standing on its collective head. So the Constitution would have to be amended to make it easier to install a new justice, which in turn would likely give rise to even more highly partisan judges on the court. Your objection is sustained.

Going to the Chappell

Jo A. — You passed along a recommendation for Chappell Roan’s “Hot to Go” as your Tune of the Week, but come on! “Good Luck Babe” is more of a banger. The bridge is amazing and the lyrics really reflect her LGBTQ+ vibe:

The deep roots of ShotSpotter?

This is a recent letter from my dad, who turned 93 in June:

Jens Zorn -- You may recall the summer of 1966 when our family was living in Puebla Mexico while I was working for their university. Our apartment was on the 5th floor of the high-rise apartment “Edificio Lastra”. We had a great view of the thunderstorms as they swept through the city, quite often during the customary noon-4PM lunch break. During that time there could be a dozen or more thunder and lightning events.

You asked me why we heard the thunder only after the flash of lightning, while the crackle of static on our AM radio occurred at the same instant. I explained that sound traveled at about five seconds per mile whereas light (and radio waves) came almost instantly.

The next day I was describing your question to Virgilio Beltran-Lopez and Leopoldo Garcia Colín, two professors of physics with whom I was working, and they suggested that the three of us could do some science while being at home for lunch. We could test the Puebla folklore that certain churches (among Puebla’s many) were getting more than their share of God’s thunderbolts.

The method is simple and does not require that one actually see the lightning flash itself… I am relaxing at home with the radio on. A burst of static occurs at 1:05 pm and I count the seconds until the roll of thunder arrives — the delay is 5 seconds; the lightning strike was 1 mile from our apartment.

Meanwhile, Virgilio and Leo in their homes also hear the 1:05 PM static on their radios, but their thunder delays are 7 seconds and 10 seconds. It follows that the lightning strike was 1.4 miles from Virgilio and 2 miles from Leo. These three observations are enough to specify where the lightning struck.

Our results lacked precision — no obvious church preference. In fact the preliminary analysis suggested that an exhibition hall featuring Lucha Libre was a favorite target.

And now I find from the Chicago media that our locating scheme has been pinched by companies that charge a lot of money for the same kind of work. Our priority over ShotSpotter is obvious. If only we had patented our method!

Oh well . . . . life is full of little disappointments.

Toying with a scammer just for kicks

Someone using the name of a Picayune Sentinel reader from Wheaton but under an altered email address wrote me the other day:

Good Afternoon, How are you? I hope you are doing so well? I need your help with a Favor, but I am currently unavailable over the phone because I have a ruptured eardrum and the Doctor told me to stay away from calls for now. Kindly let me know when you receive this. Thank you. Wayne.

The slightly fractured English and odd capitalizations were a giveaway, but I decided to pretend that I might be a mark:

Hi Wayne! So sorry to hear about your eardrum. Has your Doctor suggested that you use your other, good ear to talk on the phone? Or perhaps the speaker? Anyway, what Favor do you need from me? I still remember your kindness when I burned myself ironing my cummerbund and you loaned me a splint.

Four minutes later, he tried to bait the hook:

Hi Eric, sorry to bother you but do you order from Amazon? I need to get an Apple gift card and I have been trying to purchase one by email from Amazon, but it says they are having issues charging my card. I emailed my bank and they told me it would take a couple of days to get it sorted. I was wondering if you could help me pick one up from the retail store. I would send a check to reimburse you.

The “can you buy a gift-card for me?” scam has got to be one of the oldest on the internet. I wrote back:

Simple! How much? Just drop it by your house?

Three minutes later:

I have an appointment with the doctor to check on both ears and I do not know when I'll be through. Kindly purchase a $200 Apple gift card from any grocery/pharmacy stores, then tear open and scratch the back of the gift card to reveal the redemption codes, take a picture of the codes and email it to me. Can you do that?

I led him on:

I'm going to be in your neighborhood anyway. I'll drop it by. What time is good for you?

Instantly came the response:

I can’t say when I'll be done here that's why requested for the picture. Can you purchase it on Amazon and get it delivered to my email ?

After the following reply from me I never heard from “Wayne” again:

Sure, no problem. What's the hurry, anyway? Will you be home anytime this evening? I'm just in the neighborhood and will stop by with my wife to see your wife and kids.

Word Wheel solutions

Sharpest / harvests

Wholesale

The week’s best visual jokes

Here are some funny visual images I've come across recently on social media. Enjoy, then evaluate:

There’s still time to vote in the conventional Quip of the Week poll!

Thank you for supporting the Picayune Sentinel. To help this publication grow, please consider spreading the word to friends, family, associates, neighbors and agreeable strangers.

Contact

You can email me here:

I read all the messages that come in, but I do most of my interacting with readers in the comments section beneath each issue.

Some of those letters I reprint and respond to in the Z-mail section of Tuesday’s Picayune Plus, which is delivered to paid subscribers and available to all readers later Tuesday. Check there for responses.

If you don’t want me to use the full name on your email or your comments, let me know how you’d like to be identified.