Please, Trump, file that defamation suit against Trevor Noah!

No one in America needs to be deposed more than our reflexively dishonest president

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Tuesdays at 11:30 a.m. I talk with WGN-AM 720 host John Williams about what’s making news and likely to be grist for the PS mill. The WGN listen-live link is here.

Trump under oath is the spectacle many of us would desperately like to see

On the Grammy Awards telecast Sunday night, host Trevor Noah quipped that the award for song of the year "is a Grammy that every artist wants almost as much as Trump wants Greenland. Which makes sense, I mean, because Epstein’s island is gone, he needs a new one to hang out with Bill Clinton.”

It wasn’t a particularly funny joke since there’s no evidence Donald Trump ever visited Little Saint James, Jeffrey Epstein’s private island, and very little evidence that Clinton was ever there. And though both presidential sex pests flew on Epstein’s private plane at various times, both deny having visited the island where underaged girls were allegedly raped.

Noah’s rather forgettable gag would have vanished into the pop cultural ether, but the thin-skinned POTUS could not let this pass and amplified it a hundredfold by posting to his 11.6 million followers on Truth Social:

The Grammy Awards are the WORST, virtually unwatchable! CBS is lucky not to have this garbage litter their airwaves any longer. The host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be, is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel at the Low Ratings Academy Awards. Noah said, INCORRECTLY about me, that Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island. WRONG!!! I can’t speak for Bill, but I have never been to Epstein Island, nor anywhere close, and until tonight’s false and defamatory statement, have never been accused of being there, not even by the Fake News Media. Noah, a total loser, better get his facts straight, and get them straight fast. It looks like I’ll be sending my lawyers to sue this poor, pathetic, talentless, dope of an M.C., and suing him for plenty$. Ask Little George Slopadopolus, and others, how that all worked out. Also ask CBS! Get ready Noah, I’m going to have some fun with you! President DJT

Trump loves to file or threaten to file lawsuits to keep his critics on their back feet. And occasionally those whom he says harmed him back down and settle.

The “Little George Slopadopolus” reference is to a $15 million settlement payment to Trump's future presidential library made by ABC News over an inaccurate remark — not a joke — made by anchor George Stephanopoulos about the nature of the jury’s finding in the the civil case brought against Trump by writer E. Jean Carroll. Similarly, CBS paid Trump $16 million to settle when he sued the network the $20 billion over what he claimed was “deceptive editing” of an interview with Kamala Harris though that was widely seen as an extortion payment to grease the way for CBS’ merger with Skydance Media.

Just within the past year, Trump has sued or threatened to sue:

• The IRS

• Author Michael Wolff

• The Epstein estate

• Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell

• The New York Times

• The Wall Street Journal

• The British Broadcasting Corporation

None of these legal actions has reached the stage where the parties must submit to pre-trial questioning under oath, which I dearly hope happens in at least one of these actions.

Sex-advice columnist Dan Savage has an acronym for what he tells people in toxic, abusive or extremely unsatisfying relationships: DTMFA.

It stands for “Dump The Motherfucker Already.”

Here, DTMFA can stand for “Depose The Motherfucker Already.”

Trump is reflexively, compulsively, incorrigibly dishonest. He seemingly can’t help but bend the truth to fit his purposes and polish his ego, and “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” is a concept more foreign to him than to any politician in memory. His right hand would still be in the air when he first perjured himself.

Unfortunately for the public interest, Trump’s lawsuits never seem to get to that stage. Trial judges or appellate courts regularly dismiss his piteous claims as frivolous or non-actionable (as his whining about Trevor Noah certainly is). I keep hoping that one of these defendants will decline to move for dismissal and instead say, “OK! Bring it on! Let the truth come out!”

DFMFA!

Notes and comments from readers — lightly edited — along with my responses

Republican hypocrisy on gun rights

Mark K. — Regarding your item on the Republican’s shifting views on the Second Amendment: It makes sense when you realize the right’s entire philosophy is "you don't tell us what to do, we tell you what to do," or as someone on this board I think pointed to a more eloquent quote, attributed to Francis Wilhoit: “Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in‑groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out‑groups whom the law binds but does not protect.” This is also described extensively in George Orwell’s “1984” — the doublethink mentality where holding and propagating logically inconsistent positions is not only normal, it's essential in order for the ruling regime to maintain power.

Who is responsible for Good & Pretti’s deaths?

David Leitschuh — Renee Good and Alex Pretti’s deaths arose directly out of local government’s abdication of their responsibility to maintain order in the streets for partisan political purposes. Had Walz and Frey done their job and kept the agitators separated from federal agents, these confrontations would not have occurred.

Zorn — Gosh, where to start? First, a lengthy exchange between you and other readers is in the comment thread, so I’m just snagging this fragment to respond to. Those interested in the full back-and-forth should check that out. Next, consider that there were about 3,000 federal agents in Minneapolis and just 600 sworn police officers. ICE and Border Patrol ought to have been more than capable of maintaining their own damn order on the streets. Also, remember that neither Good nor Pretti were needlessly gunned down at “protest” events as such, but at little skirmish areas. The video of Pretti’s murder — yeah I’ll use that word — shows that to “separate” demonstrators from agents, a group of agents advanced on isolated demonstrators who were backing out of the street and shoved a woman to the ground for no apparent reason. These agents escalated and inflamed tensions. Had police been on the scene, to “maintain order” they would have had to rein in the agents, not the protesters. And finally if it’s “partisan political purposes” you oppose, what about the partisan political purpose of these violent raids in blue states and on populations of brown-skinned people, the vast majority of whom have no violent criminal record and are contributing to society? It feeds the xenophobia and racism on the right and is totally a sop to the MAGA base. And you wanted the mayor and governor to cooperate with that?

Jay G. — David is simply wrong here. The real goal of the brutal, scattershot ("targeted", my ass) deportation actions carried out with Stasi-like tactics by CBP/ICE is to provoke Americans (not "paid protestors" or "outside agitators") into violent reactions to create an excuse for Trump/Stephen Miller/Russell Vought to declare martial law. If successful, Trump will maintain martial law for a period that will last until after the November elections, the integrity of which will be compromised by his CBP/ICE goons across the country. Any other justifications advanced by the Trump Administration is simply hogwash.

Garry Spelled Correctly — Those ICE Gestapo scum couldn’t control Pretti without killing him because they have zero actual police training.

How about a path to legal residency?

Phillip Seeberg — As a compromise on illegal immigration, why don’t we make a path for permanent residency without citizenship for those here without authorization? We still have birthright citizenship, so the next generation would not be penalized. There may be issues, but responsible people should be able to discuss (credit Rand Paul for this idea).

Zorn — I suppose if such a compromise would allow undocumented, long-term residents of the US to remain legally and live without fear, I could go for it. But I don’t understand why you, Rand Paul and others shrink from allowing a path to full citizenship. These people pay taxes and are heavily invested in their communities — why should they not get to vote, just as you and I do, to aid in making vital decisions?

How to grow old? Be lucky

Ann H. — I resent all this talk about how to be a super-ager. It smacks of victim-blaming. As you know from your mother, and I know from numerous friends and relatives, you can be physically active, and socially and mentally engaged, and still get struck down by Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, or Lewy-body dementia, or any of a host of other diseases of old age. And, as usual, it shifts our focus from the systemic issues that we should be addressing about how we take care of an aging population that will increasingly need long-term care to a “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” mentality.

Zorn — Excellent comment! So much is out of our control — the afflictions you mentioned and many more can strike those who have followed all the “rules,” while smokers and substance abusers who eat crappy food and laze around the house all day can outlive them. I objected strongly when my wife had cancer to those who kept insinuating that a positive attitude was key to winning the battle. Nope. A positive attitude kept her following the prescribed treatment plan, but she — we — got lucky. But to suggest in any way that those who don’t make it are to blame because they weren’t upbeat enough is offensive.

Too old to use AI?

Trish S. — You asked whether folks are paying for AI. But you didn’t ask if we’re using it at all. I don’t use AI for anything. I know it’s the future, but I’m not willing to put energy into learning how to use it. I’m no Luddite. I was an early adopter before it was cool. I taught myself HTML looking at source code in 1995, got my clients using social media in the aughts, pushed video production and podcasts in the ‘10s. But I’m done following the tech bros wherever they want to drag us.

Zorn — The learning curve for basic use of AI is very gentle. If you use Google, you know how to use AI. AI chat bots are very similar to search engines, but you can use natural language – even adding in some spelling errors if you type too quickly – and AI will return with a summary of the answer to your question and usually links to supporting pages. In other words, it is no harder to use than Google really. In fact it’s easier.

Tired of attire comments

Sue Piha — In “Media notes” last week you wrote that former ABC7 reporter Liz Nagy was “always the most elegantly dressed TV newsy in town.” Please don’t comment on women’s appearances. By saying she’s the best dressed reporter, you diminish her professional work.

Zorn — I generally support the idea of refraining from emphasizing appearances, even in television news where, let’s be honest, appearances play a big role in the hiring and promotion of reporters and anchors. But saying that someone — male or female — is noticeably well dressed seems to me like a benign and ungendered compliment that doesn’t imply anything about that person’s professionalism or other talents.

In defense of curling

Tim Roznowski— You said in last week’s criticism of the Winter Olympics — “The international winter circus starts a week from Friday. Yawn” — that the sport of curling consists of “competitors flailing with brooms at the ice in front of smoothly gliding stones.” On the contrary, the ice is pebbled and the stones are not gliding smoothly which is why the brooms are necessary. Curling is about creativity and execution. Here is a video of the gold medal winning shot from 2018 in which the American executes a perfect shot to score five points. It was a thrilling sports moment.

Zorn — I stand corrected. Abashed, but not still not watching.

Advice from a survivor: Don’t use your employee email address for anything personal or important

My father retired from the University of Michigan in 2009 but was allowed to keep his faculty email address (@umich.edu), an account that he continued to use for all his electronic communications. He kept up with old friends, managed his finances and corresponded about his numerous sculpture-related projects under the @umich umbrella. Likely, this was partially because it’s a hassle to change email addresses and partially because there’s a bit of extra authority and prestige to an institutional email address that does not come with a plain old gmail address that anyone can have.

After he died Jan. 5, my sister and I quickly went into his vast email archives to begin identifying people to contact, find records related to taxes and other elements of his estate. But as soon as the University learned of his death, they shut off access to his email and prepared to delete the account. Administrators refused to reactivate his email, but have agreed to perform some keyword searches for us and turn over those emails.

I see their point — even the deceased have some privacy rights, and they would not want a survivor taking over the account and sending off messages appearing to be from a representative of the university. But I do wish we’d known this years ago and gotten on dad’s case to shift to an address that would outlast him.

Many — most? near all? — private employers quickly disable the institutional email addresses of employees who leave the company. And, again, I see their point. They don’t want those no longer in their employ to represent themselves as current employers in any way.

They could simply freeze the account — prevent outgoing mail while still allowing the former employee to access old messages — but the reason they don’t is evidently a fear of giving former employees access to client lists or trade secrets.

Some of my former colleagues at the Tribune were disappointed and aggravated to lose access to in some cases decades of email when they left the newspaper. I was not because I never used the company’s email. I recognized from the very beginning of this mode of communication that the bosses had total control of such an account, including reading whatever they wanted and flicking the off switch at any moment.

I used first AOL and then Gmail for all my electronic correspondence, personal and professional, and successfully resisted periodic pressure from supervisors to do Tribune business on a Tribune account.

If you use a company email address, your supervisors may not be as accommodating. In any case, here is my advice:

• Conduct no personal business whatsoever on a company account, even though it’s far easier to keep track of one email address than two. Use a different, private email address to correspond with friends, family, contractors, stores and so on.

• If one of your business contacts is someone you’d like to keep in touch with after you leave the company, forward their emails to a private account and share your private address with that contact for future reference.

• Even if your employer lets you keep your account, as the University of Michigan did for my father, resist the temptation to continue using it. Set an out-of-office reply that includes your new, private email and the transition will go well.

Unpopular opinions?

News that Gov. JB Pritzker has pumped $5 million into a PAC supporting the US Senate campaign of his Lt. Gov., Juliana Stratton, (Tribune; Sun-Times) added to my uneasiness about her candidacy in a primary race in which I have not made up my mind.

Stratton was a one-term state representative when Pritzker chose her as his running mate when he first ran for governor in 2018. Lieutenant governor is a job with what some have referred to dryly as a “flexible portfolio.” That is to say no other formal duties under the state Constitution other than to “exercise the powers … that may be delegated to him by the Governor.” (Him? Time to amend the Constitution to remove sexist language!)

Gov. Jim Thompson’s Lt. Gov Dave O’Neal resigned in 1979, citing boredom. “A person of average intelligence can learn it in a week,” O’Neal said. He called the office a “wasted resource.”

Gov. Jim Edgar’s Lt. Gov. Bob Kustra decided in 1994 to quit to become a talk-radio host, changed his mind but then quit for good in 1998 to become a university president. He later told WBEZ “As a voter or a citizen or even as a former lieutenant governor, (I) don’t have any strong reason to want to defend the office, and if the people of the state of Illinois would choose to get rid of it, Illinois would survive.”

Stratton has been fairly impressive in the two debates so far and I have a favorable view of Pritzker’s service as governor. But I have a visceral reaction against big money in politics, especially against one rich person trying to buy an office for an ally, especially in a primary race where the policy differences among the top candidates are not substantial.

When I posted this thought to Facebook, some agreed:

• I too do not like the people's voices getting drowned out by the millions from the elite and powerful. Very unfair advantage. Sadly, these days it appears that money and powerful interest groups prevail over the majority of voters.

• I was very disappointed at Pritzker’s immediate endorsement. His attempt to block a competitive primary was not a good look.

• You took the words out of my mouth.

• This really bothers me too. I am still deciding between the other top two candidates, US Rep. Robin Kelly and US Rep. Raja Krishnamoorthi. But definitely not Stratton. I am very disappointed in JB for this (even though I am a big fan of his).

But many did not:

• Get real. It's 2026 and we're living in a disgusting Citizen's United era. Raja has spent his entire career putting the arms on people to build a huge war chest.

• Raja has boatloads of money and hopefully this influx of cash will make Stratton competitive. I want a competitive primary!

• This is the system we have. Stratton is progressive to the point of sharing virtually every policy position of yours that I am aware of, largely in the way you prefer. She consistently and loudly demands the abolishment of ICE. You make zero sense here.

• She is his Lt Gov. — So you're saying he trusts her to be Governor but shouldn't trust her to represent us in Washington? For him not to put money behind her campaign would send what message to the Black community, do you suppose?

• $5 million to him is not like $5 million to you or me.

• Raja has the money to run $450,000 worth of TV ads weekly. Stratton is just catching up! All for a job that pays $175,000 a year. And you’re uneasy? How about alarmed? C’mon, man! They’re all crooks!

Again, I’m not saying Pritzker’s $5 million contribution to Stratton is a dealbreaker for me or that the campaigns of Krishnamoorthi and Kelly are funded by ideological altruists. I’m just saying that it makes me marginally less likely to vote for her.

Your view?

Last week’s result

Laurence E. Siegel — I have always reacted with disgust when athletes give thanks to God for winning games. Does God hate the other team? In the grand scheme of things, does God really care who wins a football game or a game in any other sport? Football players pummel each other. Defensive players are constantly trying to deliver the hardest hits possible then celebrate while someone is lying on the ground injured. If this is part of God’s plan, then a new plan is needed.

Jon Lederhouse — Is it proper to "give God the glory" for our successes? Well, my opinion is that, in whatever field we Christians may strive, we have "by the grace of God" been given certain levels of natural talent (athletic or otherwise), certain levels of training/education opportunities, and even motivations to excel that we can credit to God (while also acknowledging the work we have put into the accomplishment.

Richard Ramlow — Humans as a species need to explain why things happen. But attributing all the things we cannot comprehend to God does not permit any kind of consistent viewpoint. If you believe in a God of love, the world of today is inexplicable, but redeemable through that love. If you believe in a God of judgment and consequences, then the world can be explained. But why one would not yield to nihilism is a mystery to me, as your agency in your life is pretty minimal? I can't believe in a God that is so insecure that he/she needs constant praise as reinforcement. Given the humility shown by Jesus, I would think that an active God would be encouraging people to act more and talk less.

Melinda Abney Kaiser — I am an active member of my church and try to follow the teachings of Christ, but I believe that if there is a God (not wholly convinced in that regard, same with divinity of Christ), they are a hands-off God who put everything in motion (including evolution) and has left us to our own devices. For me prayer is a form of meditation, not a direct appeal to a God that I expect to intervene in my daily life. I certainly don’t think such a God is micromanaging who wins an athletic contest or favors certain countries over others.

William A. Cirignani — As a Christian, I cringe when I hear statements like that, although I think more often the speaker is simply giving thanks to God in general for granting him his athletic ability and giftedness rather than a particular outcome. Of course, for some this is no better as it attributes to God what they see as nothing more than the lucky spin of the DNA wheel. I can respond by pointing out that since we believe that our very breath is a gift from God that it is not inconsistent to thank him for all of what we are.

NewsWheel

Inspired by the WordWheel puzzle in the Monday-Friday Chicago Tribune and other papers, this puzzle asks you to identify the missing letter that will make a word or words — possibly proper nouns; reading either clockwise or counterclockwise — related to a story in the news or other current event. The solution at the bottom of the newsletter includes a link to related news story

The week’s best visual jokes

I am seriously considering the following options: dropping this feature altogether, limiting the number of entries (I’ve been offering five choices a week for years), or making it an occasional poll.

The reason is that I can no longer tell whether the daffy signs or images of animals in amusing positions are real or AI. The photo involving bananas, below, for instance — it would be at least slightly amusing if some overzealous, clueless or clever grocery store employee were to have made that sign, but it’s just a dumb joke if someone simply altered the photo. And even authentic images can sometimes seem to be simply making fun of people with limited English skills (see the last entry below, for instance) or be much more of a written quip than a visual joke.

I’ll put a poll about the poll below the poll.

Anyway, here are some (potentially) funny visual images I've come across recently on social media. Enjoy, then evaluate:

There’s still time to vote in the conventional Quip of the Week poll!

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Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise.

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Answer to the NewsWheel puzzle

TOM HOMAN