Farewell to a local journalism giant
Plus the usual dog's breakfast of commentary, comedy, quips, tips and tirades
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12-4-2025
This week:
News and Views — Hot takes, fully baked on the Christkindlmarket controversy, right-to-die legislation and more
That’s so Brandon! — Updates on the misadventures of Chicago’s maladroit mayor
Land of Linkin’ — Where I tell readers where to go
Squaring up the news — Where Charlie Meyerson tells readers where to go
Media notes — On the passing of former Tribune Editor and Publisher Bruce Dold, on the importance of covering AI and more
Quotables — A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately
Cheer Chat — The penultimate update on preparations for the 27th annual “Songs of Good Cheer” shows
Quips — The winning visual jokes and this week’s contest finalists
Good Sports — Readers agree that the NFL’s divisional races must go
Green Light — For “Sunday Best,” the surprisingly moving Netflix documentary on Ed Sullivan
Last week’s winning quip
My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit. — @ThePunnyWorld
Here are this week’s nominees and the winner of the Tuesday visual-jokes poll. Here is the direct link to the new poll.
News & Views
News: Mayor Brandon Johnson cites safety concerns as the reason to restrict crowd sizes at the Christkindlmarket
View: Yeah, the annual bazaar in Daley Plaza can be a real shoulder-to-shoulder cluster event, but as I find no record in the news archives of crowd-related safety problems there, I say let the organizers and vendors decide how many customers should be inside the gates at any one time. If the crowds are unpleasantly large and lines discouragingly long, customers will stay away, and it will hurt business. If the crowds are kept too small, the vendors won’t earn enough to make setting up their booths worthwhile.
At the very least, give organizers many months of warning so they and their vendors can adjust expectations. This year, the city imposed a 1,553-person capacity limit for the German-themed holiday market just 12 hours before the Nov. 21 opening. The limit has since been raised by 1,000 in the wake of complaints, but the total is still less than the 3,494-visitor limit imposed in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic.
News: Gov. JB Pritzker still weighing the End-of-Life Options for Terminally Ill Patients Act
View: It’s infuriating to me that hand-wringing “what if?” and other slippery-slope arguments are being employed to attempt to prevent people from having agency over their own lives.
A Tribune editorial a month ago summed up the legislation, which has passed both chambers of the state legislature:
Anyone wishing to voluntarily end their life must be an adult and a resident of Illinois with a terminal illness and a prognosis of six months or less to live.
The legislation sets certain guardrails that are intended to prevent abuse and make sure all requests are voluntary. This includes waiting periods, physician review, informed consent requirements and mental capacity evaluations. The state would have to collect data showing patient demographics and frequency of medical-assisted death, among other things.
Providers, as well as individual doctors and nurses, wouldn’t have to participate in ending a patient’s life if they object conscientiously.
But then the editorial went on to fret about about “how swiftly a narrow exception can expand” and urged the governor not to sign the bill but to focus instead “on easing pain, not authorizing physicians to hasten death.”
I want this form of autonomy for me and my loved ones. It’s my life and their lives, not the lives of JB Pritzker or the worrywarts. More safeguards can be added should they prove necessary. The precious concept of liberty demands the governor sign the bill
News: Woman who sped into anti-Trump protest crowd gets ‘second-chance probation’
View: Seems like this is more like third-chance probation. From CWBChicago:
Judge Peggy Chiampas imposed the sentence after Deidre Kemp, 30, pleaded guilty to aggravated reckless driving causing bodily harm last week. … With her children in the car, she drove her 2003 Kia Spectra into the crowd near State Street and Monroe Street while shouting obscenities at officers, who chased her on foot. A police sergeant tried to stop her by grabbing the steering wheel, but Kemp swerved. The sergeant lost his balance and crashed into 66-year-old Heather Blair, who suffered a broken arm along with bruises and scratches, according to prosecutors. … At the time of the Loop incident, prosecutors said Kemp was already on bail in Will County for allegedly leaving the scene of an accident.
Italics mine.
That’s So Brandon!
It has been brought to my attention that there (are) a number of entities that are relaying information that would make Donald Trump blush. Frankly, I think it’s beneath these so-called business leaders to lie to the public. … There’s no need to treat the people of Chicago like they’re stupid just because they may not have as much money as you do. — Mayor Brandon Johnson
(Michael Sacks) is more interested in protecting the ultra-rich and his buddies who are protecting Donald Trump than the working people of this city. — Mayor Brandon Johnson
Sigh. There he goes again, dividing rather than uniting.
We get it. MBJ’s budget battle with recalcitrant alders and the business community is deeply frustrating, but lumping in those of good will who don’t happen to think the corporate head tax is a good idea with Trump supporters and protectors is no way to advance his agenda.
“That rhetoric isn’t how you lead a city,” posted state Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias, who is potential 2027 challenger to Johnson.
Dragging Michael Sacks? To what end? Here’s WTTW last summer:
Major Democratic backer Michael Sacks and his wife, Cari, have also been active this (campaign) cycle. Sacks, CEO of multibillion-dollar asset management firm GCM Grosvenor, is a board member of the Obama Foundation and serves as chair of the Chicago DNC host committee. He has contributed $1 million to Future Forward, $626,000 to the Harris Action Fund and $500,000 each to the House and Senate Majority PACs, among other gifts. The couple has together donated nearly $800,000 to the DNC itself. They’ve also backed Brown, Casey and Tester — as well as Chicago Treasurer Melissa Conyears-Ervin in her failed bid to unseat longtime U.S. Rep. Danny Davis (D-Chicago).
Together, the Sacks’ total contributions to committees nationwide this cycle has totaled more than $4.6 million so far.
Sacks has also donated millions to anti-violence programs in Chicago.
Johnson won’t be able to browbeat and badger his way into having the alders OK his tax and spending proposals. He’s going to have to accept that reasonable people who care about the health of the city as much as he does can differ about the best way to balance the budget and help residents prosper, and that constructive compromise is the only route to success.
Land of Linkin’
A brilliantly funny essay by Brian Phillips in The Ringer catches you up on what he calls “the most important, and also least important, story of our time” — “The Olivia Nuzzi and RFK Jr. Affair Is Messier Than We Ever Could Have Imagined.”
Also brilliantly funny, Alexandra Petri in The Atlantic: “So, DOGE, What Would You Say You Did Here?” (gift link) “Mission accomplished, I say! Always a good sign when a team of innovators destroys billions of dollars of value and then vanishes into thin air! The Louvre burglars could learn a thing or two.”
“Porn World“ writer Noelle Perdue is on the warpath with “I Made Some of the First AI Porn (& Why Now, I Hate AI Porn)” and “Delete His (Serial) Number: AI will fail to conquer the desire industry (and more importantly, romance will prevail)” These posts are safe for work, by the way.
Austin Berg: “Everything you need to know about the Chicago Teachers Union’s audits scandal.”
What a surprise! “The Trump Mobile phone is nowhere to be found after months of delay: Trump Mobile has posted conflicting photos of the phone and scrubbed mention of its ‘Made in the USA’ promise.”
We were in Los Angeles for Thanksgiving and saw dozens of Waymo driverless taxis on the streets. “Children Sob as Waymo Runs Over Dog” has a sensational headline about a sad recent incident in San Francisco, but in fairness, it included this passage: “Waymo’s safety record, at least according to data it’s shared with the public, is the best in the industry and appears to put human drivers to shame. With 96 million fully-driverless rides driven as of June, Waymo claims that its cabs are 91 percent less likely to be involved in crashes causing serious injury or worse than the average human motorist. It’s never been involved in a fatal accident.”
Touché: “Evanston church’s Nativity depicts baby Jesus zip-tied by ICE agents.”
“Ear Worthy — Indie Podcast Reviews, & Trends” this week features a review of “Why Make?” my brother-in-law’s show, saying it “encapsulates all that is wonderful, exciting, and creative about indie podcasting.”
Steve Chapman: “Why is Donald Trump courting war with Venezuela?” He writes, “Trump has a cash register where his heart should be.”
From the Picayune Plus earlier this week:
Squaring up the news
This is a bonus supplement to the Land of Linkin’ from veteran radio, internet and newspaper journalist Charlie Meyerson. Each week, he offers a selection of intriguing links from his daily email news briefing Chicago Public Square:
■ USA Today’s Chicago-based columnist Rex Huppke sees signs that “the MAGA movement—one of the greatest and most destructive cons in American history—may be poised to fall.”
■ Another claim debunked. Tribune analysis (gift link) finds that, of almost 1,900 immigrants detained during “Operation Midway Blitz”—ostensibly “the worst of the worst”—most had no criminal record.
■ Architectural irony: Columnist Lee Bey reports that the “nondescript” downtown skyscraper that replaced Louis Sullivan’s treasured Chicago Stock Exchange Building, birthing the city’s modern preservation movement, may itself now be granted landmark protection that its predecessor lacked. Flashback to 1972: Photographer Richard Nickel died while trying to save pieces of the Exchange.
■ It’s time for Pulitzer winner Dave Barry’s annual Holiday Gift Guide— beginning with The Original Toilet Mirror.
You can (and should) subscribe to Chicago Public Square free here.
Media notes
RIP R. Bruce Dold
Former Tribune Editor and Publisher Bruce Dold died Wednesday at age 70 after a four-year battle with esophageal cancer. He led the Tribune Editorial Board from 2000 until 2016.
From the Tribune obituary (gift link):
The Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist left an indelible mark on the newspaper and the city, tackling the issues of the day, promoting civil discourse and influencing public policy.
From clearheaded editorials that found common ground to the groundbreaking endorsement of Chicago’s own Barack Obama for president, Dold led the Tribune into the new millennium with a reverence for the newspaper’s storied history, and an open mind for the future.
I was fortunate to have had Dold as my direct supervisor in the opinion section for seven years. He oversaw a collaborative, respectful, supportive and friendly working environment. The bracing conversations he led during staff meetings were the highlight of my week, stimulating me to think more deeply about issues and, I like to think, to write better, more useful columns.
Here’s a photo from a get-together we had in 2021 after many of us had left the paper:
Tribune investigative reporter Gregory Royal Pratt posted this on Facebook:
His work on our state’s troubled child welfare system stirred the conscience. He was a real gentleman, an old school newsman who believed in holding government officials accountable without being cynical. He had strong source relationships with all sorts of people but he never let that interfere with accountability work. Bruce was kind to his colleagues and patient. He stood up for our columnists when people didn’t like their perspective and he stood up for the rights of people who didn’t like their work to say so.
Also from Facebook:
Paul Weingarten (former Editorial Board member) — Bruce was one of a kind…one of the sharpest thinkers I’ve ever known, a masterful writer, reporter and editor. A true pro in every sense of the word — and a friend never to be forgotten.
Gerould Kern (Dold’s predecessor as editor in chief) — Bruce was a great friend, colleague and journalist who made incalculable contributions to Chicago and the Tribune during his exemplary career. We offer our sympathies to his family and friends.
Lara Weber (former Editorial Board member) The meetings among our board members were spirited, respectful and always under a cone of silence so that we could freely dissect issues and ideas. Did the eight or ten of us ever unanimously agree on anything? Rarely, but even when we argued, we listened to one another, and sometimes we even changed our minds. … Every Friday we set aside all the disagreements, all the heated exchanges and ate lunch around that giant table, talking about our families, our hobbies, everything but work. … It brought all of us together in a deeper way than I’ve experienced with most work groups. When the Tribune eventually imploded and most of us moved on to new jobs, new projects, new lives, our Editorial Board connections stayed tight. We were friends, almost family. Bruce was our anchor. Still is, I suppose.
Hanke Gratteau (former Tribune metro editor) The best friend, colleague, editor, supervisor, collaborator, dining companion, music curator, conversationalist, shoulder to cry on, cheerleader. We are going to miss him something awful.
A memorial service will be held at 10 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 12 at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in La Grange.
Radio’s ‘JoBo’ dies at 70
CBS-2 reported that Joe Colborn, aka Joe “JoBo” Bohannon, died recently of unspecified causes. His on-air partner was Eddie Volkman, and “Eddie and JoBo” were a fixture on WBBM-FM for many years and also had a stint as talk-show hosts on WLS-AM.
AI is too important a story to cover haphazardly
The betting markets are saying that AI will be Time magazine’s “Person of the Year” for 2025 (the designation does not have to be a human or group of humans; it went to the computer in 1982 and to “the endangered Earth” in 1988), and aside from the endangered U.S. Constitution, I can think of no more important entity in the last year.
Donald Trump? Sure, he has “done the most to influence the events of the year” (the criterion) for most of the last decade, even when he was out of office, and has twice been designated “Person of the Year” by Time (2016 and 2024). But his impact will be fleeting, I hope, while AI is likely to dominate the technological, cultural, economic and political landscape for generations to come and is already having a profound influence on the everyday lives of people around the world.
That influence will not all be positive, to be sure. And remember that the “Person of the Year” designation is not meant as an honor. It has gone to Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin (twice), the Ayatollah Khomeini, Vladimir Putin and other less-than-savory characters.
News organizations that can possibly afford to do so ought to have a full-time beat reporter covering the business, environmental, educational, medical, legal, philosophical, social and artistic stories emerging from this transformational technology. For better and worse, many of the changes it will make in our lives can’t and won’t be undone.
Did I need to spell out what AI stands for?
I contend that it’s no longer necessary to explain to readers that AI stands for artificial intelligence and that it has joined the ranks of the following partial list of abbreviations that we no longer need to be spelled out:
AIDS, AM, ATM, CEO, CIA, DDT, DNA, FAQ, FBI, FM, GPS, HIV, IRS, LSD, NATO, NASA, NFL (along with NBA, MLB, NHL, NASCAR and other sports organizations), PDF, Ph, PhD, PTSD, TV, URL, US/USA, USB and VPN
Note that Wi-Fi is not on this list because it doesn’t actually stand for anything.
‘Meet the Reader’s new editor in chief, Sarah Conway’
A Q&A with the journalist taking over the city’s alt weekly.
I’m excited to step into this role and build with the existing Reader staff to bring readers more community-based investigations, tantalizing and arcane feature stories, and profiles of everyday Chicagoans doing extraordinary things. I’m excited to explore and develop ways to integrate comics, public events, zines, guides, radio, movies, and more into the fabric of our writing. When someone asks what’s going on in Chicago, I want them to be handed the Reader as the only primer they’ll need.
Tip of the press fedora
Kudos to WGN-CH. 9’s Ben Bradley for exposing the story of now-former Argo Community High School Superintendent Bill Toulios, who put porn-site charges on a district school credit card and then attempted to cover it up.
Quotables
A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately
(“The Taming of the Shrew” at the Court Theatre is) a joyless, weird, creepy, barely comprehensible and thoroughly unpleasant theatrical experience that lost a good portion of its head-scratching audience at intermission on Sunday night and surely alienated many of the rest who stayed. … There’s no warmth, no vulnerability, no fun whatsoever to be found in this world with this play. — Chris Jones
I do think there have to be consequences for abject war crimes. If you are doing something that is just completely unlawful and ruthless, then there is a consequence for that. That’s why the military said it won’t follow unlawful orders from their commander in chief. There’s a standard, there’s an ethos, there’s a belief that we are above what so many things our enemies or others would do . — Pete Hegseth in 2016
I really do kind of not only wanna see (those on the bombed boats in the Caribbean) killed in the water, whether they’re on the boat or in the water. But I’d really like to see them suffer. I would like Trump and Hegseth to make it last a long time so they lose a limb and bleed out. — Megyn Kelly
In life, you are not looking for someone who just accepts your quirks. You are looking for someone who loves them. Cherishes them. And loves you more as a person because of them. — Unknown, but perhaps an adaptation of a quote from “How I Met Your Mother.”
The Pilgrims were frosty, sanctimonious scolds in drab attire. — Betty Bowers
There is an assumption … I would argue against: That people who are prejudiced reach that point by weighing reality, assessing the facts before them before coming to their conclusions. Just the opposite (is true): They blinder themselves with their bigotry and cherry pick what facts support them when they’re not fabricating calumnies out of whole cloth. — Neil Steinberg
I don’t think (Northwestern University) should be capitulating to the extortion that’s being brought upon them by the federal government — period, end of sentence. … I am of the belief that every time a university signs an agreement based upon this extortion, that they’re whittling away just a little bit at the democracy that I think we’ve all relied upon. — Gov. JB Pritzker
(Somali immigrants) contribute nothing. I don’t want them in our country. … Their country stinks. … We don’t want them in our country. … We’re gonna go the wrong way if we keep taking in garbage into our country. (U.S. Rep.) Ilhan Omar is garbage. She’s garbage. Her friends are garbage. — Donald Trump
(Minnesota) that beautiful land, that beautiful state. It’s a hellhole right now, and the Somalians should be out of here. They’ve destroyed our country. — Donald Trump
These swine called reporters, they drive me insane.
Who let these farm animals onto my plane?
They ask me about Epstein, I say, ‘It’s no biggie.’
Then they press me again, and I say: “Quiet, Piggy!” …
So get off my plane, make your way to the crates.
I’ve got things to acquire, like the 51st state! — From the Canadian Broadcasting Company show “This Hour Has 22 Minutes.”
Cheer chat
Update on preparations for the 27th annual “Songs of Good Cheer” winter holiday singalongs starting one week from today on Dec. 11 and running through Sunday, Dec. 14 at the Old Town School of Folk Music hosted by Mary Schmich and me. We surround ourselves onstage with top-notch musical talent and provide songbooks for everyone in the auditorium. We lead familiar and less familiar songs of the season, crack a few jokes and leave everyone feeling jolly.
Songs of Good Cheer victimized by yet another rigged election!
Axios Chicago this week is running a bracket tournament to choose Chicago’s best holiday traditions. And while we at “Songs of Good Cheer” were honored to be included in the opening round of 16, we were baffled, skeptical and infuriated to see that we lost in the first round to dining at Marshall Field’s Walnut Room in Macy’s on State Street.
The vote was reportedly 92% for The Walnut Room and 8% for SOGC. But there’s no doubt that voter fraud was rampant. Many people have been coming up to me with tears in their eyes saying “Sir, your holiday singalong is the greatest holiday tradition ever. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it.”
Those who have attended will attest to how true this is and may even now have tears in their eyes.
I wrote to Justin Kaufmann at Axios, saying that surely an honest recount would find that an additional 43% of the vote was actually cast in our favor, and could he do that for me because SOGC actually won the election and should have advanced.
But Kaufmann, clearly a member of the deep state, merely thanked me for my attention to this matter. He will find coal in his stocking along with a subpoena.
Best cover ever?
For many years, cartoonist Scott Stantis has volunteered to draw the cover for the souvenir songbook we pass out to everyone who attends. This year’s — above — may be his most powerful yet. It shows music as the heart of our gorgeous city.
Related: Block Club Chicago answers the question, “How Does WLIT Pick Its Christmas Song Lineup?”
Come sing with us!
Buy tickets online, by phone (773-728-6000) or at the Old Town School of Folk Music box office, 4544 N. Lincoln Ave. in Chicago.
Quips
In Tuesday’s paid-subscriber editions, I present my favorite tweets that rely on visual humor. Subscribers then vote for their favorite. Here is the winner from this week’s contest:
I considered the best of the “Pope Leo with a baseball bat on an airplane” memes, many of which had him confronting the passenger seated behind him who was kicking his seat.
The new nominees for Quip of the Week:
In the future, everyone will have an affair with Olivia Nuzzi for 15 minutes. —@itsabbyyep.bsky.social
After the third or fourth bald eagle you just have to admit to yourself, “These things taste awful.” — @jackboot.bsky.social
The holidays are magical because I forget what day it is for two weeks and eat endless treats, because that’s January’s problem. — @sixfootcandy
Like most people my age, I’m horrified at how bigoted people older than I am are and how woke everyone younger than I am is. And don’t get me started on people my age. — @wildethingy
Doctor: Are you sure? He will get bigger. Mrs. Cratchit: We’re naming him Tiny Tim. — @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist. — @MoMohler
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. — @BobGolen
She said, “Your skin is your biggest organ.” With a wink, I said, “Well, maybe your skin is your biggest organ.” Anyway, she’s been in the ladies’ room for like an hour and I’m starving. — @jackboot.bsky.social
Ah, the hopeful joy of wearing a new shirt, and the quiet fear that it changes nothing. — donni saphire @donni.bsky.social
I get cardio by getting off the couch and walking right up to the tv screen to read the text messages a character sends or receives. — @thealexnevil.bsky.social
Vote here and check the current results in the poll.
For instructions and guidelines regarding the poll, click here.
Minced Words
Cate Plys, Marj Halperin and I joined host John Williams on this week’s episode of “The Mincing Rascals” podcast. John gave us a memory test — we failed … will you? — and we discussed Northwestern’s ransom payment, apparent U.S. war crimes on the high seas, crowd control at the Christkindlmarket, the proposal to hike garbage collection fees (Cate changed my mind!) and more.
Subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Or bookmark this page. If you’re not a podcast listener, you can hear an edited version of the show at 8 p.m. most Saturday evenings on WGN-AM 720.
Read the background bios of regular panelists here.
Good Sports
Clicks Populi
Here was my argument and the people have resoundingly endorsed it!
Curt Fredrikson — The NFL playoff system will not get rid of the divisional system because it makes games important. Who would attend a late-season game between two teams with losing records unless one of them happens to be the leader in a weak division? The current system helps ticket sales by creating artificial value in such a game. As always, understanding the situation requires following the money and there is money in maintaining the illusion that some bad teams still have a chance at the big prize.
Zorn — Who would attend? Crazy football fans in droves, for sure. There is no system that can eliminate the "meaningless game toward the end of the season” problem. I’d rather see the teams with the best overall records in the playoffs than a few lucky losers.
Green Light
Green Light features recommendations from me and readers not only of songs — as in the former Tune of the Week post — but also of TV shows, streaming movies, books, podcasts and other diversions that, with only rare exceptions, can be enjoyed at home.
I was surprised, educated and delighted by “Sunday Best,” the Netflix documentary on “The Ed Sullivan Show” that was released in June. I expected a light biography featuring fun clips from the wooden host’s famous CBS variety show (that went off the air more than 53 years ago). And while it did deliver on back story and entertaining footage, the thrust of “Sunday Best” was Sullivan’s undersung role in the civil rights era — presenting and promoting African American performers even as his network bosses and some sponsors balked.
Info
I am a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. I began publishing the Picayune Sentinel on Sept. 9, 2021, roughly two and a half months after I took a buyout from the newspaper. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise. Browse and search back issues here.
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Thanks for reading!
Trump's vile insults of Somali immigrants are despicable and disgusting. The worst part is the general reaction - mostly quiet as the right tacitly supports this kind of sentiment and the left is at outrage fatigue and just can't keep up. It's just so normalized at this point, we have no choice but let it go and wait for him to spew the next batch of vitriol. Will we ever be able to get back to some level of decency and respect in this country?
I wouldn't choose AI for Time's "Person of the Year", it's too flawed a product at this time.
I would choose the masked ICE officer as the most symbolic challenge to constitutional rights in this country thus far.