B is for Brandon

Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson deserves a solid grade for his performance before a congressional committee Wednesday

3-6-2025 (issue No. 183)

This week:

• Mr. Johnson goes to Washington

• Last week’s winning quip

• Et tu, WGN? — Local broadcast giant told to use “Gulf of America”

• You’ll have to guess my views on the news — It won’t be hard

• Land of Linkin’ — Where I tell readers where to go

• Mary Schmich — On the two aged Pauls

• What’s on “The Mincing Rascals” podcast this week

• Quotables — A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately

• Quips — The winning visual jokes and this week’s contest finalists

• Good Sports — Well, why not use a dead goat instead of a ball?

• Tune of the Week — “Skyline” by the Starlight Darlins

Mayor Johnson was generally adroit in his appearance in the House

I’ve been pretty hard on Brandon Johnson in my regular feature “That’s so Brandon! — the misadventures of Chicago’s maladroit mayor,” and I was braced for the worst when he appeared Wednesday before the U.S. House Oversight and Government Reform Committee to answer questions about Chicago’s status as a sanctuary city for undocumented immigrants.

Would he ramble, preen and evade, as he so often does in local media appearances? Clumsily play the race card? Get into a viral spat with one of the Republican lawmakers who called the hearing in an effort to embarrass big city mayors?

Answer: Not really. I watched the entire hearing — some six hours of posturing, speechifying and hectoring — and thought Johnson came off just fine. I’d give his performance a grade of B.

Boston Mayor Michelle Wu and Denver Mayor Mike Johnston, also on the panel, came off more polished , direct and forceful than Johnson, but covered for him more than overshadowed him. The presence of New York Mayor Eric Adams on the panel was a blessing for Johnson, as he was constantly under fire from both sides. Republicans got after him for being insufficiently flinty with undocumented immigrants, and Democrats asked repeatedly about the deal he apparently struck with Donald Trump in which he’d ramp up efforts to deport undocumented immigrants and the U.S. Justice Department would drop the corruption charges against him.

A fifth panelist, David Bier, director of immigration studies at The Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank, provided solid statistical backup for claims that sanctuary city policies do not make major cities less safe.

The only congressman to really attempt to grill Johnson was Republican U.S. Rep. Brandon Gill, the son-in-law of conservative firebrand Dinesh D’Souza. He represents a Texas district north of Fort Worth. Here’s a portion of how their exchange went:

Gill: I want to ask you a series of questions. If you could answer with a yes or no answer that would be great. First of all, do you support allowing illegal aliens to obtain driver’s licenses? Just yes or no.

Johnson: (five-second pause) So, the city of Chicago has been a welcoming city for over 40 years —

Gill: I’ll take that as a “yes.”

Johnson: —and that’s the policy that we will hold to.

Gill: Do you support tax dollars subsidizing or paying for the health care of illegal aliens?

Johnson: I support investments in all residents and the people of Chicago, and that’s what I do.

Gill: That’s “yes” as well. Do you support free or reduced college for illegal aliens?

Johnson: Again, I support the investments of all residents and the people of Chicago.

Gill: That is a “yes.” Next question: Do you support allowing non-citizens to vote in local elections?

Johnson: Again, I’m not over the jurisdiction of that type of law. But, again, I’m committed to investing in all residents in the city of Chicago.

Gill: I’ll take that as “yes.” I’ve got an article from the Chicago Sun-Times I will quote here briefly: “Johnson proposed among other things that all residents, regardless of citizenship status, be able to vote for the Chicago Board of Education members.” Next question: Your website states —and this is your campaign website — “I will not stop fighting until abortion access is completely secure for people all over the country.” Yes or no: Do you support taxpayer-funded abortions for illegal aliens?

Johnson: I support the reproductive rights of all people; of all women.

Gill: That is a “yes” as well. Your mayoral transition website mentioned support for creating a Chicago Board of Education noncitizen advisory board. Again, yes or no. Do you support appointing non-citizens to government advisory boards?

Johnson: I was invited here today to discuss welcoming cities.

Gill: Yes or no? Yes or no?

Johnson: I was invited here to discuss welcoming cities. If you’re interested in asking question about welcoming cities, I’m happy to answer those questions.

Gill: We’re going to move on. …

Gill then referenced the “gift room” mini-scandal that broke in late January when a city inspector general’s report raised questions about the Johnson administration’s secrecy regarding the gifts given to the mayor and the city that are stored in City Hall.

Gill tried to suggest that some of the unidentified people giving gifts to Johnson were attempting to thank or bribe him for his efforts on behalf of migrants and asylum-seekers who descended on Chicago. The suggestion fell flat.

Overall, Johnson stuck to his simple message: The city offers limited cooperation with immigration authorities in cases of violent crime but considers immigration enforcement to be a federal matter, a position that ultimately makes people and communities safer. Efforts to knock him off that message or fluster him into a notable outburst failed.

Sun-Times political reporters Fran Spielman and Mitchell Armentrout were just slightly less charitable:

The mayor’s testimony often sounded scripted in a showing that nevertheless accomplished the embattled Chicago mayor’s main goal: to simply get through it.

Unlike two of his impassioned counterparts at the hearing, Boston Mayor Michelle Wu and Denver Mayor Mike Johnston, Johnson provided sometimes robotic answers to questions posed by committee members, seldom veering off the script he has used repeatedly in Chicago. …

If sometimes appearing less comfortable than Johnston or Wu — a native of suburban Barrington — Johnson still held his own under hostile questioning from the GOP-majority panel.

Noting that Johnson “mostly declined to take the bait” dangled by Republicans, the Tribune’s Alice Yin wrote:

Like his three counterparts, the mayor danced around many of the more hostile questions, eliciting sharp criticism from irate Republicans.

During the testimony, South Carolina Rep. Nancy Mace assailed Johnson for being evasive and said he had low approval ratings “because you suck at answering questions.”

The Tribune’s Editorial Board called Johnson’s performance “workmanlike,” but added, “in such a high-risk setting, that was all that was needed.”

Chicago is one of the world’s great cities. For all the flak he took and all the dissatisfaction Chicagoans feel at how he’s governed, Brandon Johnson on this day did nothing to undermine that truth.

Our mayor parried his Republican critics to a draw and passed a big test on the national stage. In the comments section of his report card we can write, “shows improvement.”

Last week’s winning quip

I would have renamed the Gulf of Mexico Sea Señor. — @BobGolen

Here are this week’s nominees and the winner of the Tuesday visual-jokes poll. Here is the direct link to the new poll.

WGN told to yield to Trump and start using ‘Gulf of America’ instead of ‘Gulf of Mexico’

Susan Tully, vice president of local content development for Nexstar Media Inc., recently sent a memo to the news directors of the some 200 Nexstar local TV stations (including WGN-Ch. 9) and to Nexstar-owned WGN-AM 720 telling them to use “the Gulf of America” in deference to President Donald Trump’s effort to rename the international body of water along our southern border as “the Gulf of Mexico.”

“Our Standards Guide requires journalists to follow Associated Press Style,” said Tully’s memo. But, she added, the AP’s preference for "the Gulf of Mexico” — a preference that has inspired Trump to bar AP reporters from White House events, Air Force One and other media availabilities — is “nuanced” because of the wire service’s status as “a global news organization.”

However, wrote Tully, “our local markets serve local audiences, domestically.” Furthermore, “NOAA (the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) is changing all weather information and maps to the name Gulf of America” and the “Interior Department and other agencies we cover also uses Gulf of America.”

That these agencies are under Trump’s control and must do his bidding is unstated.

“We will be careful not to confuse our news consumers when it comes to important information from the federal government, such as hurricane and storm warnings,” Tully went on. “That means we should follow the new language ‘Gulf of America.’”

The idea that news consumers would be confused by a reference to the “Gulf of Mexico,” a designation commonly used since the 17th century, is, of course, ludicrous. Tully then offered this concession:

You can always say or write “Gulf of America, formerly known as the Gulf of Mexico” through the adjustment period.

“The adjustment period”? What, until we all get used to Trump’s newspeak?

If there is a way to read this other than a capitulation to Trump’s churlish whims, I’d like to hear it. I reached out to Tully to see if she had an alternative explanation.

No word yet.

News and Views

So much has happened in Trumpland since last week: His ugly spat with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy that signaled the end of the United States as a dependable ally; the related U.S. decision to pause sharing military intelligence with Ukraine; Trump’s error-riddled and highly partisan address to Congress; the trade wars he’s starting with allies and foes alike; the executive order making English the official language of the United States; the end of federal funding for an Illinois program that helped feed the poor; and his announcement that he plans to grant a posthumous pardon to baseball great Pete Rose who was convicted on income-tax charges. And let’s not forget the sage advice of the head of the National Republican Campaign Committee telling his party members to stop holding in-person town halls because their constituents are extremely pissed off.

You can guess my views on each of these news items. And while I’m not giving up the fight, I’m reluctant to turn the PS into a chronicle of outrageous, destructive and cruel bullying by the sociopath-in-chief.

Land of Linkin’

• Steve Chapman: “A law that’s a boon for your bladder, pioneered by Illinois”

• Picayune Sentinel readers debate Gov. JB Pritzker’s comparisons of MAGA to Nazism.

• David Corn in Mother Jones: “Trump’s NIH Pick Made a Big Mistake on Covid:

  He still won’t admit that he misread the danger.”

• Unpopular opinions? Vote here on whether you think parades are a snooze and read the results of our poll on intercessory prayer.

• “Venezuelans in Chicago face Trump’s decision to end protected status,” from WBEZ’s Chip Mitchell and Adriana Cardona-Maguigad.

• If you do the WordWheel puzzle in the Tribune every day, as I do, then you will want to work the NewsWheel puzzle now in Tuesday’s Picayune Plus.

Charlie Meyerson, whose regular selection of links from his Chicago Public Square newsletter appears here, is on break.

Mary Schmich: Thoughts on the two Pauls

Paul Simon and Paul McCartney

My former colleague Mary Schmich posts occasional column-like entries on Facebook. Here, reprinted with permission, is a recent offering:

This photo of these two Pauls, whose music is permanently inscribed on my mind and in my heart, just floated past on Facebook.

And I thought: They got old.

And then I thought: Everybody gets old.

And then I thought: Everybody gets old if they're lucky.

Minced Words

Brandon Pope, Austin Berg, Marj Halperin and I joined host John Williams on this week’s episode of “The Mincing Rascals” podcast. Most of our conversation was about Mayor Brandon Johnson’s appearance before the U.S. House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, which was still going on as we recorded. We also discussed President Trump’s speech Tuesday night and the idea floating out there that Rahm Emanuel is interested in becoming mayor again.

Subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Or bookmark this page. If you’re not a podcast listener, you can hear an edited version of the show at 8 p.m. most Saturday evenings on WGN-AM 720.

Traffic-signal recommendations:

• John: Green light for “Flow,” winner of the Academy Award for best animated picture.

• Eric: Green light for “The Measure,” a novel by Nikki Erlick.

• Marge: Green light for “Trust,” a novel by Hernan Diaz

• Austin: Green light for “Sly Lives! (aka The Burden of Black Genius),” a documentary streaming on Hulu about Sly and the Family Stone.

• Brandon: Red light for the movie “The Brutalist.”

Read the background bios of some regular panelists here.

Quotables

A collection of compelling, sometimes appalling passages I’ve encountered lately

In the war between Russia and Ukraine, the first to surrender was America. — unknown

Hey, JD Vance, what's it like to be a puppet's puppet? — William Ader

I love my country with all my heart and I've never been more embarrassed for America than the spectacle I just witnessed in the Oval Office. Zelenskyy is fighting for the survival of his country, his people and their democracy. Trump and Vance appear to be completely aligned with Putin, the invader whose aim has been to conquer Ukraine. Zelenskyy should know that millions and millions of Americans still stand with him and his valiant people. — David Axelrod

Well, the cost of lumber has gone up 10-25%, but at least we’ve cut off aid for the world’s poorest people, so it’s basically a wash. Go USA. — Salty McTavish

Donald Trump: "My tariffs are gonna be great for America!" Stock market: "God, you're stupid." — Betty Bowers

The Democratic Party is an exhausted and empty shell, a corpse sucked to the very edge of death by moneyed donors, a pale jumble of consulting firms trying to sell unflavored broth at the Gumbo Festival. … One party is out to kill, and the other is waiting for its leaders to die. — Hamilton Nolan

Democrats: “If Donald Trump kills us all, just remember how we waved tiny paddles with NUH-UH printed on them.” — Born Miserable

When America was attacked by Japan and my father and his brothers went to help. They did not ask to be paid, but went to protect your rights of freedom and democracy. One day America will be attacked again but have no friends left. Then you will understand how Ukraine feels now. — Stan Collins

Quips

In Tuesday’s paid-subscriber editions, I present my favorite tweets that rely on visual humor. Subscribers then vote for their favorite. Here is the winner from this week’s contest:

The new nominees for Quip of the Week:

• Server: What can I get you? Me: I’ll have a three-egg omelet. Server: We’ll need to run a credit check. — @RodLacroix

• Giving prestigious awards to middling to bad movies is what separates us from the animals. — @jakevig.bsky.social

• At the time of the robbery I was at home writing in my diary how I detest all crimes and criminals. Sorry to disappoint you, lieutenant. — @kipconlon

• I have never been swimming because it’s never been more than 30 minutes since I last ate. — @stevesuckington.bsky.social

• The thing I miss most about being a child is getting praise for cleaning up my own mess. — @wildethingy

• All pleasures are guilty when you have anxiety. — @benedictsred

• The priest just put the ashes on my forehead in the shape of an "L.” — @RodLacroix

• It seems like keeping a dinosaur in its enclosure would be much easier than creating the dinosaur in the first place, but Hollywood has taught me the reverse it true. —@jackboot.bsky.social

• We're living such long lives now, we need to find ever more ingenious ways to whittle away the time between birth and death. For example, you're reading this. — @wildethingy

• When you go on a trip because your significant other wants to and you want to avoid a fight, that’s called a placation. — @DestryBrod

Vote here and check the current results in the poll.

For instructions and guidelines regarding the poll, click here.

Why the new name for this feature? See “I’m rebranding ‘Tweet of the Week’ in a gesture of contempt for Elon Musk.”

Good Sports

Maybe not a good sport, but …

“Buzkashi, the sport that uses dead goats as the ball” is an astonishing offering from Jomboy Media, a YouTube sports channel dryly and hilariously narrated by James Vincent Michael O'Brien. Jomboy’s stock in trade is moment-by-moment breakdowns of unusual plays in more conventional sports.

Take this tactic and shove it!

Reader response to my support for a proposed rule change that would outlaw the short-yardage play in football in which players line up behind the quarterback and push him forward for a yard or two:

Dennis Murphy — Speaking of the Tush Push I'm surprised you didn't mention William Perry being penalized for carrying Walter Payton into the end zone on November 17 1985. This link has the full game, the bit with Perry tossing Payton starts about 1:48:00. Also there was a nice write up in the Sun Times.

Mark K. — Generally on the Tush Push debate. I like the play! Other teams complain only because they can't stop it and don’t know how to run it as effectively as the Philadelphia Eagles. It feels low class to try to change the rules to better fit your ability.

Your "aesthetics" argument falls flat with me. Football traces its roots to rugby and this is a very rugby play. And I kind of like the aspect of getting the last few inches on the last possible opportunity through sheer will.

Coach of the year? Not!

I’ve been hearing and reading speculation that Dusty May, Michigan’s first-year men’s basketball coach, should be named coach of the year in the Big Ten or perhaps even nationally. Yes, he took great advantage of the transfer portal to turn Michigan’s fortunes around this season from an 8-24 record last year to 22-8 so far in the 2024-25 campaign. But his squad is turnover prone — 16 in Wednesday night’s weak loss at home to Maryland — and unable to build and hold big leads. They are vastly overrated at No. 17 and my guess is that my beloved alma mater won’t win another game this year — a loss at Michigan State Sunday afternoon seems inevitable, as does a quick loss in the Big 10 postseason tournament and one-and-done in the NCAA tournament.

Tune of the Week

I love a capella group singing — particularly so-called “zipper” songs in which only a word or two is changed with each verse. If you share this fondness, you will like “Skyline” by the Starlight Darlins, a song of great optimism — a sentiment sorely needed at this moment:

The song was written by group member Emily Johnson-Erday. The Starlight Darlins describe themselves as “a queer Appalachian folk band.”

There are bright days ahead my love
Keep your eyes on the skyline
There are bright days ahead my love
For the weather’s bound to turn in time
For the weather’s bound to turn

I’ve been opening up Tune of the Week nominations in an effort to bring some newer sounds to the mix. I’m asking readers to use the comments area for paid subscribers or to email me to leave nominations (post-2000 releases, please!) along with YouTube links and at least a few sentences explaining why the nominated song is meaningful or delightful to you.

Info

Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise. Browse and search back issues here.

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