Blagojevich speaks ill of the dead

... so I shall once again speak ill of Blagojevich

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Eric Zorn is a former opinion columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Find a longer bio and contact information here. This issue exceeds in size the maximum length for a standard email. To read the entire issue in your browser, click on the headline link above. Paid subscribers receive each Picayune Plus in their email inbox each Tuesday, are part of our civil and productive commenting community and enjoy the sublime satisfaction of supporting this enterprise.

Shut the heck up, Blago!

If there was ever a time when it would have been appropriate for me to use “fuck” in Picayune Sentinel headline, this was it. Shortly after noon Sunday, just after news had broken that U.S. District Judge James Zagel had died at 82, the disgraced former governor tweeted:

This self-pitying felonious twerp just doesn’t know when or how to go away.

I very much appreciated the response tweeted by veteran Tribune political writer Rick Pearson:

This says everything about the tenure of conceited Rod Blagojevich. He was a character in his own devolved ego show. A victim of his own stupidity. And of course, piss on the judge who sent you to prison for, in part, shaking down a children’s hospital for campaign contributions.

Then I rushed to revisit Blago’s mewling, abject, confessional statement to Judge Zagel at his sentencing hearing in December 2011, when he was hoping to wheedle his way into a light sentence. Enjoy!

I’m here convicted of crimes. The jury decided that I was guilty. I am accepting of it. I acknowledge it. And I, of course, am unbelievably sorry … The mistakes I’ve made, in many ways have been terrible mistakes. And I want to take this opportunity to apologize to the people of Illinois, I want to apologize to your honor, to this court for these mistakes. … I thought (my actions) were permissible. And I was mistaken. The jury convicted me. They convicted me because those were my actions. Those were things I said. Those were the things I talked about doing and discussed in conversations. I am responsible for that. I caused it all. I’m not blaming anybody.

I was the governor and I should have known better. And I am just so incredibly sorry. …

You heard conversations, a lot people across Illinois and other places, the things I said on those tapes, the childish things, the immature things, ugly and petty things, self- centered and self-absorbed things. If this case was about being self-absorbed, I would have walked in and plead guilty immediately. …

Because of my stupidity and the mistakes and things I talked about, things I discussed, my children have had to suffer. I’ve ruined their innocence. Now when my kids go out in the world every day they have to face the fact that their father’s a convicted felon. … That’s something I’ve brought on myself. … I’ve nobody to blame.

So I guess we can add cravenly, opportunistically lying to a federal judge to the list of Blagojevich’s sins. Then-President Donald Trump commuted Blago’s sentence in February 2020, which, to judge from Twitter has turned the former Democratic member of Congress and governor into a MAGA Republican.

He was and remains truly a piece of … work.

Notes and comments from readers —lightly edited —- along with my responses

Most of my correspondence and comments in the past week has been about the firing of Northwestern University football coach Pat Fitzgerald (“If Fitzgerald has to go, so does most of his staff”).

Lee C. — I’m confused. If the theory of accountability also implicates Fitzgerald’s coaching staff, don’t all of them have to go? You wrote “most.”

Zorn — In fairness, five of them — like the interim head coach — are so new to the program that it’s unlikely they knew the hazing was going on.

Jim K. — NU President Michael Schill has to follow Fitz out the door. He made lengthy, pious statement about Northwestern’s high standards then followed up initially with a mere slap-on-the-wrist two-week suspension. And what about athletic director Derrick Gragg? He’s got problems with a pair of the major sports he’s responsible for (football and baseball), yet he can’t even make a statement.

Zorn — Fitzgerald’s failure of oversight was compounded by a public-relations failure that ought to become a case study for textbooks in the field. Schill acted with incomplete knowledge and ended up being blindsided by his own university’s student newspaper. Both Schill and Gragg have been conspicuously, disquietingly mum — perhaps now because Fitzgerald is threatening legal action.

Peter L. — Not once since the scandal broke have we heard or read Fitzgerald condemning the practice of hazing. When Fitzgerald was initially suspended, he expressed disappointment in learning of the allegations and said that NU prides itself on producing athletes and young men befitting the character of the football program and the university.

Since then, Fitzgerald’s comments have centered more around a possible breach of his contract than acknowledging that the university’s report on the alleged hazing found enough evidence to back up the allegations. This leads me to conclude he honestly believes hazing is an acceptable practice and simply college high jinks that leads to team bonding.

Not to be overlooked is the fact that Fitzgerald also created a culture in which team members obviously felt they could not speak up to any member of the coaching staff about what was going on. That’s not a culture that builds character, it’s a culture of fear.

I find it hard to believe that Fitzgerald honestly had no knowledge of the alleged hazing that went on during his 17-year tenure as head coach and that reportedly was taking place while he was an assistant coach at NU and probably when he was a player.

Zorn — I haven’t followed every news story out of Evanston about this and so may have missed a condemnation of hazing, but in general the vibe here seems to be that he and many of his players considered these actions to be just good fun that creates a bond among teammates.

I really do hope that Fitzgerald files suit and that it goes to trial and we learn much, much more. Smart money is on a confidential settlement between the parties, though. As I wrote five years ago, this vaunted institution has no stomach for a fight:

Northwestern’s motto is “Quaecumque sunt vera,” meaning "Whatsoever things are true.” Pretty words. But they’re empty coming from an institution that won’t fight to defend them.

Marc. M — I can’t understand how an investigation that found serious hazing violations could also result in no discipline for any of the perpetrators or any team members who were aware and did nothing.

Zorn — Of course we don’t know exactly when these incidents are alleged to have occurred or if the instigators are still on the team, but that’s certainly another question hanging out there. What about the players who allegedly led the hazing rituals? It’s one the university should have dealt with before going public.

Peter Z. — Eric, are you sad that your alma mater, Michigan, will not play the Wildcats this year? Would you have placed a W beside your team’s name before they even started the game if they were going to play?

Zorn — I’m still so scarred by No. 5 Michigan’s 2007 loss to Appalachian State in Ann Arbor that I will never again assume a gridiron victory. But even though Northwestern will certainly struggle to win games this year, I’m still glad Michigan isn’t playing them because it would not be considered a quality win, and unless the Wolverines go undefeated in the regular season, they may need quality wins to squeak into the four-team playoff.

Matthew W. — The solution to hazing is simple. Allow it only if you talk freely about it. "Yes, we haze the incoming freshman. They have to carry our equipment on and off the field and they are served last during meals.”

Would anybody be embarrassed to discuss that with their families during the holidays? I think not. But if the scenario is something different. "Yes, we haze the incoming freshman. We get naked in the shower and lather up our whole bodies and form a line and make them run naked through the line where the object is for us to make them rub up against our junk." I don't see grandma approving at Thanksgiving dinner.

Zorn— I have yet to see the utility in hazing rituals. If there were, businesses would be adopting it to improve performance and morale.

David L. — Does anyone seriously believe that Fitzgerald would have been fired if his team was coming off an 11-1 season instead of a 1-11 season preceded by another very poor season?

Zorn — Yeah, I do. Northwestern was committed to Fitz for the long haul and had plainly accepted that he’d have up years and down years. If anything, it was that loyalty to him that prompted the too-light punishment and inadequate diligence in the investigation.

The following isn’t a letter but it is from the most forceful published defense of Fitzgerald I read. It’s from Daily Herald contributor Jim O’Donnell’s sports media column:

Despite a dearth of verifiable facts, (Fitzgerald’s) good name and honor have been linked to some sort of Neanderthal “hazing” that permeated the darker crevices of the Northwestern football program. No information has been disclosed that Fitzgerald was aware of or countenanced the “hazing.” The claim that “he should have been” suggests a marked naiveté about the capacity of adolescents and young adults to create, execute and hide. More independent analysts would label what Fitzgerald has been … through as “railroading.”

O’Donnell’s decision, evidently ratified by editors, to put the word hazing in quotes speaks to his evident skepticism that such activities are wrong. (Imagine a news story that put the word rape in quotes). He later writes with a sneer about “a resolute band of student journalists reporting in The Daily Northwestern on The Enchanted Lakefront.”

That said, the gap between “he knew” and “he should have known” is, in fact, worth interrogating. Anyone who has ever been in a position of authority (not me, in other words) almost certainly appreciates the difficulty in knowing what goes on in the ranks out of earshot and sight.

I suspect there are other cleats to drop in this story before it’s all over.

The need for speed

Jake H. — Mayor Johnson's proposal to dramatically lower city speed limits is "insane," your word, not just because it would bring out the torches and pitchforks, but because it exhibits a failure to take the consequences of policy seriously in any way. It would mean that it would take longer for people to get where they're going, lengthening commutes and delivery times. It would slow down buses too. Most drivers in Chicago are not wealthy. Any enforcement of such a draconian speed limit would hurt ordinary folk hardest, people least able to afford tickets.

Speed limits could be increased along many stretches of arterial road and expressways, and I think 20 mph around parks and schools where nobody is around is a trap for the unwary, but ubiquitous camera enforcement of realistic limits (including, or maybe especially, on highways) is fair and should do a lot to reduce accidents.

Pete P. — The super low speed-limit idea is childish. It shows Johnson and team to be embarrassingly unserious.

Anne O'B —I realize it’s just a click poll and not a paid political poll with cross tabs, but I’m surprised that you didn’t have a follow up question on whether “guys” is sexist by asking voters if they are men or women. My guess is that women are more likely to think it’s not “just fine”. Do you know how your readership breaks down?

Zorn — Good point. I don’t know the gender breakdown of my readership. The overall results of the poll were strongly in favor of the gender non-specific “guys.”

It’s possible that this may also be a generational thing, so I’ve created a crosstab poll that you should click on only if you’re intrigued by this question. There is no “get a life, Eric, who cares?” option, in other words.

Skeptic. — There has been some conversation here about cursing in light of your special f-word poll — is the word inherently obscene, funny, inappropriate or whatever? Depending on the context, swearing at work signals that closeness to the person you are talking to. It is like saying "we can speak freely with each other even though we cannot with most other people".

Zorn - Smart point. Something about sharing coarse language quietly does suggest a form of intimacy.

Ya gotta see these tweets!

Here are some funny visual tweets — and Facebook postings — I've come across recently. Enjoy, then evaluate:

Which of the above visual tweets is the best?

NOTE that the usual Substack poll template does not seem to be functioning so I have created a poll page here for you to vote

Vote for your favorite. I will disqualify any tweets I later find out used digitally altered photos. I’ll share the winner in Thursday’s main edition.

There’s still time to vote in the conventional Tweet of the Week poll!

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